this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
62 points (98.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

40311 readers
4033 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Klear@piefed.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What is the most optimal question to ask you?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"Are you fully optimized?"

[–] Klear@piefed.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] mech@feddit.org 15 points 4 days ago

"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago

To the Optimization Ball.

[–] subOrange@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What’s your morning routine?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 27 points 4 days ago (5 children)

While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 13 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

just better at everything?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 24 points 4 days ago (9 children)

I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 days ago

Not answering quickly it seems.

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

what kind of keyboard do you use?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago

Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But are you fully functional?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I've transcended functionality.

[–] Miller@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago

You're a manager?

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago

I'm not good, I'm optimized.

[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

What is the most optimized colour? For general optimality purposes. I like green.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

I am the rainbow

[–] sunsofold@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Why have you stopped taking your meds?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago

I have transcended my meds.

I AM OPTIMIZED

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?

[–] BOplaid@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What do you think of unoptimized people?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

They are the dirt from which I grew

[–] Una@europe.pub 7 points 4 days ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] etchinghillside@reddthat.com 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Why did you oil bukkake the pillow guy?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago

It's just part of the optimization process.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

You're already OP in this thread.

What follows is that your are timized

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

26C FA582CC113 9063BB? A165? 3DA76 B2B2, 767A1A?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ah yes, the Fibonacci sequence. Classic.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago

Dear god, you really are fully optimized!

[–] silver@das-eck.haus 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Does this make you the ultimate optimist

[–] GlizzyGobbler@fedinsfw.app 1 points 3 days ago

Where did all the excess cheese from farmers go?

load more comments
view more: next ›