Pretty sure what they actually need here is a strapping young Akita who goes on a quest across Japan to gather the strongest fighting dogs to from an army and push back the bear menace once and for all.
this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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Finally some uplifting news
OHMYGODYEEEEESSSSS!!!
Danger 5?
yawns Call me when the bears are 100m tall and radioactive and the only way to stop them is to merge six robo wolves into a mega wolf.
For those wondering, this is the photo from the article.
So like deer decoys not "wolf robots"?
The machines move their heads from side to side while flashing LED lights from their eyes and tails to create a threatening, predatory appearance.
...
the company has developed upgraded versions mounted on wheels that can patrol routes and actively chase animals away.
Decoy robots
Sounds more like animatronics, akin to Chucky E Cheese.
Those would count as robots if they could react to your presence and chase you
So much to hate about this world we live in. So much to despise. Every now and then though, you see a headline that makes you happy.
What I pictured when I heard "Japanese Wolf Robots":
My disappointment is immeasurable 😩
I was reading with increasing trepidation, and was relieved when I got to the bit about them being harmless, for largely similar reasons.
Not as bad as expected
But how will we tackle the robot wolf crisis??
By releasing the Metal Gear.
robot bears
How do you say Hound of the Baskervilles in Japanese?
バスカヴィル家の犬
バスガスバクハツ？
None in my village. I'm not sure if that's fortunate or unfortunate. We definitely have bears that come within a couple KM of my house.
In a weird coincidence, the Bizarre Beasts YouTube channel just came out with a video about what happened to Japan's real wolves.
Foiled by YouTube thumbnails.
hehehehe
The link text goes to the legitimate video, though.
Why don't they just build a voltron???
cause the pilots will just fuck around for 15 minutes as 5 lions until they finally form Voltron. 10 seconds and 1 sword slash later, the bear will be slashed in half. pisses people off
Or 20 minutes as 37 cars or whatever.
I actually had the car voltron when I was a kid. I can't remember if I ever saw the cartoon for it though
...you know, it's funny, i had vehicle voltron too, and although i never watched the cartoon, my best friend's little brother did, and i don't remember ever seeing episodes of the vehicle team, only the lions, although i know vehicle voltron also had a cartoon...
...real exotica was gladiator voltron, three humanoid robots which merged into a larger robot, which i never saw anywhere outside of catalogs...
(fifteen cars, jets, and submarines)
... and I'll form the head!