this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 111 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 105 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Okay but if true moms did an amazing job with this

[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

I've got no idea what that is, but it took me far too long to realize that was an amazing toilet paper dress

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 months ago
[–] recursive_recursion@piefed.ca 82 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Reverse searched and this is what the mom probably saw:

Bad Dragon based off the description on the packaging

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 43 points 3 months ago (3 children)

(Roll for plausible deniability) Mom, it’s just a mushroom model. I’m into….biology.

[–] Noja@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 months ago

They ship as silicone sculptures =)

Mom, I'm on drugs.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe 5 points 3 months ago

Don't worry about it mom, I'm just...a horny slut.

[–] Curiousfur@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Small. What an absolute coward

Edit: apparently I haven't been getting comment notifications on Connect, but this was entirely sarcastic, I am well aware of how unreasonable large even some of the small toys are. I am also intimately aware of how unreasonably large the large size is. It frightens me from the bottom of the tote.

[–] malle_yeno@pawb.social 26 points 3 months ago

Can we all agree to not joke about people playing within their limits from now on?

[–] northface@lemmy.ml 0 points 3 months ago

Hey edgelord, please take your bullying and insecurity issues back to your friends on Reddit please.

[–] thatsTheCatch@lemmy.nz 41 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Aaaaand that's why you mind your own business!

[–] SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Right? Oh she thought it was shoes? I'm still gonna ask why the fuck she opened someone else's shit!

[–] McGuirk808@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

I'm reading this as she ordered shoes recently and assumed it was her delivery without reading the shipping label.

[–] borkborkbork@piefed.social 8 points 3 months ago

thought it was her bad dragon order.

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 39 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Also based on a quick search that is not the worst thing a mother could see (although granted that would depend on the mom, this one seems chill enough)

[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ok, you're going to have to share with the class.

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 21 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Its "Nova the Breeder" small, soft or soft shaft firm base

Looks like this(the small one) obviously NSFW

Tap for spoiler

I was hoping for a weird giant octopus thing. Like 8 ft across or whatever.

[–] northface@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What's the reference object to the left supposed to be? A soda can?

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

Yes normal, as in most common, soda can

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] unwillingsomnambulist@midwest.social 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oversized, somewhere in that space between comically and frighteningly.

[–] northface@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago

They come in a wide variety of sizes, from very small to (as you put it) comically/frighteningly large, so as to cater to most people depending on their preference.

Granted, the theme is usually "creature" (fantasy or real) rather than "human", but that doesn't mean they only have one size for each creature imagined!

[–] Whitebrow@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago
[–] Manticore@lemmy.nz 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

??? It d9esnt matter if you thought it was shoes, you don't open other peoples mail?? In what country is it legal to do that wtf

[–] Liz@midwest.social 21 points 3 months ago

I assume Mom omitted the "my" in front of shoes, like she and expecting her own delivery and just thought it was hers without double-checking.

[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (3 children)

You've never accidentally opened something before you looked at the name, (when expecting something)?

[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No, because I always check the name first. What the hell is wrong with you people???

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 months ago

lived alone for like 5-6 years before getting housemates again, could definitely see this happening with a mom if you don't order much stuff at home 💀

[–] tautalas@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago
[–] Manticore@lemmy.nz 5 points 3 months ago

No...? If a courier delivers something to my door I look at the name to confirm they live here before signing. Including when I'm expecting a package. Mix-ups happen all the time.

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

As a cis person ITT:

"OH... Ohh! OH!"

takes notes

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You do know cis people are allowed sex toys too, right?

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Come to think of it, my cock ring hasn't come up too many times at the weekly D&D with the boys. I'll wait on the right storyline.

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 3 months ago

If youre not paying dick & Dragons yet.... Idk

[–] M137@lemmy.today 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ah, yes, only non-cis people use sex toys.... It has nothing to do with you being cis, more that you've either never browsed a porn site in the last 20 years or have a very specific kind of site you go where those would never show up, and also don't have fun friends.

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip -2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sorry my sexdrive isn't my personality?

[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ok, cool. But... What does being cis have to do with not owning a dragon cock dildo??

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip -1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The venn digram between furry culture and trans culture often times looks like an askew lid on a jar.

I'd also like to point out that just because I've pointed this out, and made fun of/with it, that I don't mind, personally.

but tbh, the blank "What do you mean Hank Hill wouldn't talk about dragon dildos with the boys?" thought was hilarious for a minute

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

lmfao it doesn't really look like you're bothered by it really, imo anyways, but it's such a non-sequitur to point out that you're cis. i think it probably would have been clearer if you'd just said "as a non-furry"

respectfully, there are plenty of suburban white folks who are freaks with it (positive) and wouldn't bat an eye at a bad dragon dildo. you probably could have said "as a vanilla person", also

you're poking fun at it, but i get the feeling you wouldn't take well to having your own lack of sex knowledge made fun of, so i'll leave it at that

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 1 points 3 months ago

All good, I know I basically walked right up to Rome and made fun of Caesar.

The negative reaction has been expectedly less than I prepared for, all things considered.

[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

Thanks for reminding me I've got a daki on the way. Time to check the mail every hour.