this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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[–] miz@hexbear.net 70 points 1 week ago (2 children)

exchanged gunfire

makes it sound like little gift envelopes. "I showed u my calibre please return fire"

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s reminiscent of headlines about Israeli missiles “finding their way into refugee camps” and other such euphemisms

[–] miz@hexbear.net 45 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

the phrase that lives in my head is "kidnapped from his tank"

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago

exchanged gunfire

makes it sound like little gift envelopes. "I showed u my calibre please return fire"

Comrade, take my ammo! :soviet-chad:

:nyet:

No Comrade! Take mine! :left-unity-4:

[–] axont@hexbear.net 50 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Us Americans love guns but none of us can shoot straight it seems

Well except the guy who ventilated Charlie Kirk

[–] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 45 points 1 week ago (6 children)
[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 week ago

Counting or not counting Charlie Kirk?

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Deep State implanted a device in his neck and then detonated it

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Necks do, indeed, sometimes just do the weirdest shit.

Signed, a girl with medically dubious neck pain.

[–] Moidialectica@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

If we are Charlie Kirk, and if we carry his flame, what will happen to our necks..?

he died of high blood pressure

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

It was a terrible terrible accident

[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 21 points 1 week ago

The bullet came from the camera!!1!1!1!1 /s

[–] tocopherol@hexbear.net 49 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

A juvenile bystander was hit by the suspect

I might get into polymarket betting on things like this, I would put down money that it will turn out the bystander was shot by SS.

The lack of detail also makes it sound like he was suspicious so they shot at him, it would be funny if he was just an average 2A guy, the sources say they witnessed a "visual print" of a firearm and suspicious behavior, and when they approached they allegedly exchanged fire. It would be unsurprising if one officer said he saw a gun so they just started blasting at the 'suspect' before he did anything.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)

These lone wolves fucking suck at lone wolfing

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I guess the lone wolves only need to get lucky once? More proof that adventurism doesn't accomplish anything though. Imagine if all these cranks worked together how much more they would accomplish

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Give me 20 men and [REDACTED]

[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My favorite Gambo Tones character

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[–] RION@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

SCP writers creating a new canon:

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

redaction is great, it means I don't have to be imaginative, my readers take that effort on so-true

[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] MarxMadness@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago

The Expendables but it's a team-up of crank shooters, with a post-credits scene from:

spoilerGeorge H.W. Bush

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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 21 points 1 week ago (6 children)

fiber optic drone without any signature and 1000 km sq of search area for a suspect vs i take gun i shoot gun at 10 m sq area, best shot was at 90000 m sq. american adventurers are not intellectual to put it mildly.

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Has there been a homegrown assassination/attempt using drones? They've been used to kill people for decades now but has anyone tried to use one in a credible attempt to kill a politician/other vip?

[–] Azarova@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Probably stretches the definition of homegrown but Ukrainian nazis tried to get an American Nazi teenager to kill Trump with a drone. He killed his parents first and then got caught on his way to pick up the drone though. Events in Ukraine has an article about it: https://eventsinukraine.substack.com/p/trump-assassin-part-i-the-misanthropic

[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Making a fiber optic drone is expensive, a lot of these cranks usually have guns lying around somewhere and it's easily accessible.

Plus making any kind of explosive is something that could go south real quick lol

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

It can't be that hard to learn. I hear that nobody ever makes the same mistake twice!

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[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is a fiber optic drone going to work in a city? That fiber trail you're leaving behind could get broken by traffic or a random person.

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

it hangs between the buildings/trees, but it could definitely. mr trumpo appears in golf resorts and political rallies tho, white house is wrong place to try anything, cause it's a building anyway, in the most policed city in the world

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

Too much Law and Order

They think you can just shoot the president from five feet away and no one will notice because of all the walking and talking

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[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"There was no indication Vance was a target"

since when do cops do you favors downgrading potential motives when they could just call it an assassination attempt and lock them up forever

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 29 points 1 week ago

"oh yeah even we don't think that dickhead is important enough to kill"

[–] Kopfrkingl@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yea my first draft was "tell me they were white w/o saying "they're white""

[–] Notcontenttobequiet@hexbear.net 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"this keeps happening and we have no idea why!" angry-place

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I blame radical antifa cnn for being mean to Trump and Wolf Blitzer telling the audience how to make pipe bombs.

What if it was Wolf Blitzball and he was really, really into Tidus and Wakka from FFX

[–] LeninWalksTheEarth@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago

oh so the white house is a gun free zone? fucking liberals.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago

i may not support their guns BUT I SUPPORT A FREE EXCHANGE OF GUNFIRE! FREEDOM! liberalism

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

just trading gunfire like pokemon cards 🎴

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Bluesky brigades have been activated.

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

Bluesky got shooters

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

What's even the point of the 2nd if you don't know how to use it

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago
[–] ZeroHora@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

Radical centrism is serious business on United States of Epstein

Bets on what incoherent flavor of lib this one was?

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