this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 7 hours ago

The word snake handling cults all know the real demonic language because they do all that speaking in tongues stuff. That doesn't sound "heavenly" to me.

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

Lately Hell has changed to Esperanto.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

It is the christian language though... A while ago the bible was in latin.

Edit: the catholic bible

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 2 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

The Bible was written in Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek.

[–] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

language of the catholic church more specifically then

[–] Jtotheb@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

And the Catholic church more specifically still!

[–] MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world -1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I think he meant the Catholic Bible

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 10 hours ago

Yep, thanks

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I once experienced an episode of sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations. I heard a deep masculine voice speaking in a guttural language that seemed just on the edge of being comprehensible to me. As if it were the primeval language from which all others sprang. The feel of the language in my ear was as familiar as my native tongue. I recognized the cadence, I could discern where one word ended and the next began, whether a sentence was a question, and so forth. But the words themselves were somehow alien.

I strained my senses trying to hear the voice more clearly. What horrible prophesy was I being given? What dreadful task have I been appointed? Am I the keymaster? The antichrist? Am I dying? Oh shit, that's it, isn't it? I'm dying and going to hell. Fuckfuckfuck. Um. I accept Jesus as my savior? ...Buddha? ...Joe Pesci?

Then I snapped out of it and the voice turned out to be the muffled sound of my neighbor's TV. Praise be to Joe Pesci!

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 4 points 11 hours ago

guttural tv sounds beyond my comprehensions

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Uhh, billions of years?

The Bible is centered around just 10,000 or less years of total universal history, from what I've seen.

I don't believe that, I'm just explaining the dogma here.

[–] MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

Haven't God and Satan canonically always existed?

[–] nieminen@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To be totally fair, Satan and the whole pantheon would have existed for essentially infinite time before earth came about, so I think the point still stands

[–] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 0 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

It was literally a few days

[–] MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

In God's time according to the Bible

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 91 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I kinda thought of it as, "My native tongue is as ancient as the seas, as foundational as the mountains, as incomprehensible to you as the stars are to ants. Anyway, 2000 years ago I had to hire a guy to translate that into one of your languages just so you people could sign a fucking contract. It was a huge mess, guy took twice as long as he quoted me, legal department rejected it three times before it go approved, the whole thing went way over budget. Long story short, I'm not updating the paperwork. You can Google it if you want the fine print."

[–] GamingChairModel@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

His legal templates are all in Latin, his production code is all in COBOL, etc.

[–] dragonbringerx@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

...and using that for my next dnd campaign! Thanks!

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

LOL, I'm honored, thanks!

[–] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Latin is the best language though

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Which is why it's spoken all over the world today!

I mean yeah, it is spoken all over the world today!

[–] harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Honestly, I think Sumerian or Akkadian would be better but Latin does have its charms.

[–] bunkyprewster@startrek.website 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Aramaic seems like it was a big deal for a while

It was, more in the Ptolemaic and Roman periods in Palestina and Judaea. It takes almost all of its vocabulary from Hebrew. Even at its height, it was basically just a regional language and never had the reach and depth that Greek and Latin had.

It's important if you're studying intertestamental or early Christian texts, but, even then, many were translated to Greek

[–] wraekscadu@vargar.org 50 points 1 day ago (10 children)

Ehh honestly, can't something as powerful and as long lived as Satan just... Know all spoken languages?

Imagine Satan trying to seduce you, but unable to buy your soul because he can't speak your language fluently. Would be a funny setup, but kinda lame

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 31 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

So if you were like a terminally online furry would Satan be all uwu *buys your soul*

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 25 points 1 day ago

notices your soul OwO what's this?

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[–] BucketBong@p.hobo.social 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Satan: vende mihi animam tuam pro maximo desiderio

Me: what's this about my verandah?

Satan: vende mihi animam tuam pro maximo desiderio

Me: Sorry, I... I got to get going, I got an appointment, hope you get help with whatever the fuck you need.

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[–] harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, for the Western world, classical Latin has a kind of mystique or vibe that other languages don't. People fear the grammar and classical pronunciation is just different enough (all c's are pronounced as "k") to make it sound familiar and foreign.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Yes but how many Sumerian or Akkadian grimoires survive today in their original language?

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why not, worked for the church

[–] UPGRAYEDD@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Satan cant be billions of years old if the universe os less than10,000 years. Latin or something similar was around when Christianity was invented, so it makes sense god and satan would speak it?

[–] BoJackHorseman@lemmy.today 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Satan speaks Hebrew in our world.

Hey, aren't you that horse from horsing around?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I have a wall in my head that won't accept this as funny because it entirely misses what Satanism is.

It's a response to Christianity, and in its oldest forms, Catholicism. So, the Latin bit should be the default. There wouldn't have been Satanists that were using Aramaic or whatever. Hell, anyone engaging in the equivalent of satan worship from before the creation of satan in the form religious Satanists do worship could have spoken anything from their era anyway.

It's not like there's a ton of examples of satan dictating holy (or unholy) books, but he/she/it would still have spoken the the dark prophets in their own tongue. Why the fuck would you speak Enochian to some random Babylonian? You'd speak Babylonian.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

I mean (many of) the earliest Bibles were in Coptic (which is still used liturgically by some of the oldest Orthodox churches). Christianity also really inherited that form of dualism more from the Zoroastrians so Avestan is another great option. But if you want to come from the Judaic roots yeah babylon was the origin of the major opposing deities in Judaism's early monolatrist perspective so especially if you're fighting the Abrahamic God with Baal that would be your main pick.

Side Rant: It really cannot be overstated how much the Catholic church really fucked up Christianity. It was originally a syncretistic anti imperialist death cult (in that you would martyr yourself by publicly accepting death over imperialism). If I ever got a time machine Athanasius of Alexandria is much higher on my list than Hitler. It's not even that I'm specifically opposed to trinitarianism—the number three does seem significant to some universal truth across numerous cultures (Plato's chariot, Taoist three elements of destiny, even Freud to name a few)—but killing people en masse over it is unspeakable. And to have subsequent traditions who were supposedly otherwise anti-catholic in any other respect still specifically follow in the tradition of murder for some reason is ridiculous.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 1 points 22 hours ago

If you're talking about the time of Athanasius, Catholicism doesn't exist; The Great Schism hasn't occurred, yet.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Reading this comment finally helped me understand why new lemmings complain about the prevalence of Linux users here.

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Same with Enigma.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 8 points 1 day ago

Well it’s the ecclesiastical language of Christianity, and the Satanic cults depicted are typically couched in Biblical mythology.

[–] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 5 points 1 day ago

this is because Satan tries to mimic God and the lsnguage of the Roman Catholic Church is Latin.

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