this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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Honestly, I think Sumerian or Akkadian would be better but Latin does have its charms.
Yes but how many Sumerian or Akkadian grimoires survive today in their original language?
Nowhere as many as Latin. As far as ancient languages, Egyptian magical texts definitely outnumber Akkadian and Sumerian.
A large number of surviving Akkadian texts are commercial or official records. The most famous is probably the complaint against Ea Nasir.
Unfortunately we know what latin sounds like (though most of hollywood has only a vague concept), and nobody speaks ancient Egyptian of Akkadian.
But does it really matter if we don't kmow what they sound like. It's not like audience will know either.
Unless Ea Nasir was carving scarabs and magic squares on his copper, I don't think that counts as a magical text.
I'm aware of the Chaldean Oracles, but they don't survive in their original language. I think the oldest surviving translations are in Greek or Arabic.
Ehh honestly, can't something as powerful and as long lived as Satan just... Know all spoken languages?
Imagine Satan trying to seduce you, but unable to buy your soul because he can't speak your language fluently. Would be a funny setup, but kinda lame
So if you were like a terminally online furry would Satan be all uwu *buys your soul*
notices your soul OwO what's this?
That would be kinda hot ngl
Satan: vende mihi animam tuam pro maximo desiderio
Me: what's this about my verandah?
Satan: vende mihi animam tuam pro maximo desiderio
Me: Sorry, I... I got to get going, I got an appointment, hope you get help with whatever the fuck you need.
vade retro satana, nunquam suade mihi vana
Well, for the Western world, classical Latin has a kind of mystique or vibe that other languages don't. People fear the grammar and classical pronunciation is just different enough (all c's are pronounced as "k") to make it sound familiar and foreign.
Interesting point, so it kind of puts it in the uncanny valley of language.
familiar foreign spooky.
Most versions I've seen in TV and movies can.
I'd assume all celestials can speak all languages ever created.
That's incredibly offensive.
Implying that a holy being could speak french makes me wanna barf
Don’t worry, he only speaks Québécois
I feel like Odin would know French, not because he wanted to but because he got lost and ended up picking it up for insult purposes.
I enjoy the language despite butchering it every time, and I especially enjoy the French countryside. Pretty damn forgiving of a terrible accent, and with a smile.
Its Parisians that usually piss me off.
I'm not sure of your reasoning. But I'll provide two ideas that may make you feel better and/or worse about it.
Have you seen Akkadian? Shits got like 300 letters. Latin was definitely the upgrade.
One of my professors could read Akkadian. He had to master Biblical Hebrew before being allowed to begin studying Akkadian. He said he had hundreds of flashcards and spent at least an hour every day studying them - aside from doing his regular coursework.
I took 25 credit hours each of Biblical Hebrew and Latin, and I am quite content never having attempted Akkadian.
Yeah, if I was Satan, that would have been the earliest utterance of the phrase 'fuck that shit'.