this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] AFineWayToDie@hexbear.net 90 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I am once again asking you to READ ANOTHER FUCKING BOOK

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When the founder of Hamas had to do a heckin Hamas he was all "I wish I didnt have to see such horror," his mentor was like

“So do I,” said Al-Gandalfi, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Doing anything for you?

[–] AFineWayToDie@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

I'm already working on a fanfic series for the expanded universe.

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago

You see Hamas is like the Empire and Israel is the Resistance and

That one where the hunger games would be seen as solution for Gaza?

[–] GnastyGnuts@hexbear.net 63 points 2 years ago

Laughable thing to say when the whole crux of israel is basically "historical Jewish suffering mean israel gets to go ape-shit and that you're an antisemite if you think that's wrong."

Also if you try to justify actual atrocities through the lens of children's media, you should be wailed on with a fly-swatter until you have welts, I'm so fucking tired of that shit.

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 60 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They did it! They said the thing! Truly this is some kind of supreme lib, an "alpha lib" if you will.

[–] IAmHisBiggestSpoon@lemmygrad.ml 59 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Terry Pratchett is a wonderful author for the younger children/cousins/comrades/anyone with a heart to read. Don't let ya kids read pro-slave, transphobic authors!

[–] RedCat@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 2 years ago

Can't wait to become a parent so I can go ballistic on my child's elementary school for reading Harry Potter with the kids.

[–] EndMilkInCrisps@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Tiffany Aching > Harry Potter. All her books are about how the real magic is helping other people and caring for your community.

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[–] booty@hexbear.net 59 points 2 years ago

Circumstances did not create Lord Voldemort! JK Rowling created Lord Voldemort! How the fuck do these people avoid dying of embarrassment mentioning fucking children's books in serious political discussions???

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 58 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Obvious Harry Potter brainworms aside, the metaphor doesn’t even make sense. Voldemort doesn’t go after Potter because he blames him for anything, he goes after him because of a prophecy.

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 63 points 2 years ago (1 children)

because of a prophecy

Sooo pretty much the same reason that the state of Israel exists in the first place?

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 57 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

We should start a crowdfund to send libs en masse to Palestine so they can talk to Palestinians about how they're acting like Slytherins when they really should be more like Griffindors. They probably just never thought about it that way. And then Palestine can be partitioned through the 4-state solution, with each state named after a Hogwarts house and only people of respective characteristics may live in a particular state. Israelis will be in Griffindor automatically and Palestinians will be either in Slytherin if they don't condemn Hamas or maybe they can make it to Ravenclaw if they do condemn Hamas, but if they condemn Hamas and are top physical specimens then they can maybe go to Griffindor. Then all the houses, except Slytherin, led by Hunter Biden as Harry Potter will team up for one final battle against Lord Voldemort Putin in Russia and win. Ukraine is the other school with the blondes. This might be the way to peacefully settle the conflicts in the Middle-east and the world.

Jesus, this is how libs think.

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 47 points 2 years ago (1 children)

We should start a crowdfund to send libs en masse to Palestine

Haven't the Palestinians suffered enough already?

[–] Ideology@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

Isn'trael already did this. Look how well it's going.

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[–] TheLastHero@hexbear.net 51 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Harry Potter is a fed fedposting

so of course I support Comrade Voldemort in his struggle against British Magocratic imperialism gui-trans (I have never read the books)

[–] axont@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

In our terms Voldemort is more like an ethno-nationalist taking advantage of a paralyzed, dying neoliberal structure and how it's already inherently racist. The wizards themselves live in a highly alienated liberal gerontocracy where nothing happens.

The closest thing to leftism is one book where Hermione tries to quite literally organize against actual slavery of elves and the other wizards treat her like a loudmouthed annoyance. Then they tell her elves actually enjoy being enslaved.

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[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The guy who looks like Emperor Palpatine with no nose? I kinda just assumed he was evil for the sake of evil. Look at the dude, black cloaks, all pale and stuff. He's trying to seem evil.

[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The nose was a congenital deformity he was born with or something. Like not even "he did the evil magic so his nose fell off" just "people with deformities are inherently evil".

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Wow. That's bad and weird.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I don't remember that at all. He was born as a normal dude, and was a normal looking dude up until he died. It isn't until after he was reborn from some kind of evil ritual that he gets the no-nose form which I'm not even 100% certain is described in the books, it might just be a movie thing.

But no, Tom Riddle, the guy who went on to become Mr. Evil No-nose, had a normal nose as far as I know(s).

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[–] borlax@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Harry potter belongs on the banned book list.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Me as a kid: "These adults who want to ban Harry Potter are so weird. It's just some books about silly wizards, it's not Satanic"

Me now "We need a turbo NKVD specifically for Harry Potter."

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[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago (1 children)

THEY'RE NOT FUCKING REAL AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Starship troopers but it’s burning a full set of the HP books before you’re allowed to become a citizen

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[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

Genocide by people with agency is circumstances, but resistance by (cough AYrabs cough) is evil.

I've often said that the chance for dialogue doesn't exist; this just reinforces it. You can't talk to people like this, they've got brains made of mashed potatoes.

[–] TupamarosShakur@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Isn’t there actually like no circumstances to Voldemort being evil though? Like isn’t it just oh this guy is the descendant of Salazar slytherin so obviously he wants to genocide half bloods?

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago

In both hurry potten and the liberal worldview, ideology is genetically heritable

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[–] copandballtorture@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago

Hush sweetie, the adults are talking

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Fellas, is having parents who love you equivalent to suffering an ethnic cleansing campaign directed at your people?

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[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Even if you're going down to her level, it's going to boil down to riots being the language of the unheard. Circumstances created Voldemort, sure. With some text blurbs from a Google search because I'm not going deep into TERF wizard lore, looks like he had unresolved trauma and wants to hurt people who are like people who hurt him. He's not directly helping some marginalized group harmed by the same people and he himself is no longer being harmed. If he was a more compelling character and, upon being confronted by status-quo-future-cop Harry who's all "stop helping these people" destroys a supply of water bottles you would cheer for Voldemort to kill Harry.

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 30 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's far worse. Voldemort exists because of (CW, SA)

spoilerHis mum used a "love potion" (date rape drug basically) on his father and became pregnant with him.
The lore of Harry Potter is that because he was conceived in this way, he is literally incapable of love or caring about other people. I think this is an important bit of "lore" to consider when this lib talks about "Circumstances created Voldemort." She's really pushing this idea of "evil people being born evil."

It's much more disgusting the more I think about this, probably already put far more thought into this tweet than she ever did before tweeting it.

[–] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Harry Potter lore in general seems to have this idea that love is some transcendental magic force that is carried from person to person regardless of their actual upbringing or life experience. Despite being raised by awful abusive foster parents Harry is good cuz his parents he never met loved him and the magic energy of their love allowed him to develop into an emotionally mature and ethnical human despite being raised in such a toxic environment. Same with Neville. Meanwhile if you had mean shitty parents that evil taint of having been spawned by bad people lingers with you forever. One possible exception being Sirius Black, but even he's kind of a piece of shit even if he's on the right side of the wizard Nazi war.

So yeah even if you were adopted by loving supportive parents who raised you right if you had horrible biological parents you're doomed to be a bad person. Meanwhile you can be raised in a dysfunctional home but if your mommy and daddy you never met love you beyond the grave you'll turn out okay.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is something I've been struggling to articulate. Liberal fiction really does promote birthright goodness except in instances where the entire plot of the story is overcoming one's birth. Teams are decided by who your parents are, even if you never met them.

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[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm going to work on my magic college novel today. I suddenly feel less bad for my rewarded-for-bad-behavior bad guy.

"Yeah, he was born evil and couldn't help it. That doesn't mean we should cheer when he tries to kill good people" is so dogshit. It's like the NPC meme. It's like a denial that other people have consciousness behind their face. It's an inability to conceive that people have different circumstances that breed different conclusions for ethics. It's that "you can either agree with me or be foolish" that takes you™️ up the ladder in a corporation.

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[–] B21@lemm.ee 26 points 2 years ago

" ~~Anime~~ harry potter was a mistake" -Hayao Miyazaki

[–] axont@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Liberal media sometimes makes their villains correct up to a point, except then they take it too far, or turn out to also be deranged. This is an attempt to make the villain more three dimensional instead of being someone who's so evil they no longer register as human or conscious. This isn't the case with Voldemort. He was born from a weird love potion ritual and he was simply born evil. He was a bully ad a kid and has organized a big fascist club to kill people simply because he's full of himself. He wants a big statue of himself on a throne in one book.

If this is how liberals see their political opponents we're gonna have a hard time. They don't even view Palestinians as conscious people, they're simply bad and wrong for the sake of it.

[–] VHS@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago

liberalism.png

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

This is just someone trying to mash idealism into materialism at high speeds

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