This was a tweet by Andy Richter.
this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
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I didn't think Conan's main man would have to be linked like that
Are they? Thought bird dicks are smaller
Big Bird has a predator's front facing eyes, and a massive form which must require a lot of calories to run.
Do you think his species is an ambush predator like a puma, a persistence predator like a human, or does he go for volume like an orca?
Nobody sees him eating other muppets, so 100% ambush predator.
No one knows what happens when the lights go off on Sesame Street.
I assume it’s like My Friendly Neighbourhood, and Big Bird is the apex predator. Sometimes muppets just… vanish.
Big Bird does establish when meeting Mr. Rogers that he likes foot races.
I bet he chases his prey down and uses his giant feet to pin em down and pecks em clean.
Hey man, all ducks are beautiful.
*disclaimer: I do NOT want to see your duck. Do not DM me your ….
Oh no, I think I bollocksed this. Comment.
Cock is a type of bird, no?
One way or another a pecker is going in
I see pigeons sat near them, lamenting the fact that nobody is making ones big enough for them to nest in.
Pigeons are perfectly capable of making their own nests thank you.
‘Perfectly capable’.
Look, it works, okay? Survival of the fittest is a misnomer; it’s survival of the fit enough.
Have we tried just dropping our babies on city asphalt with a few sticks? Maybe we’re overdoing things.
Pigeons are really dumb birds, how they have survived as a species is a mystery to me. We have a few pairs on the farm that have had babies and out of the 6-8 that have made it to maturity, 2 of them we had to rescue cause they just jumped out of the nest and couldn't fly yet. We'd put them back in the nest for a few days and then just give up and raise them in the aviary until they were fully grown and then release them. Awesome birds as pets, but dumb as a box of rocks in the wild.
There’s a couple of pigeons that made a nest in my backyard two years ago. It’s located right next to a wall that’s frequented by cats. It’s also right next to the back door, so every time we go out the birds leave the nest in a panic, leaving the chicks behind. That is, if there would be any chicks - the nest has such big holes that the eggs just fall out onto the ground.
I mean... don't pigeons and a number of other birds... essentially have some method of navigating / spatial awareness that is still not well understood by science?
Basically, yeah, they dumb as fuck, but also, they seem to have something approximating a sixth sense that we do not comprehend.
method of navigating / spatial awareness that is still not well understood by science?
trial and error?
Unless I am mistaken, a fair number of studies have determined that that is insufficient as a method/means to explain the capabilities that they routinely display.
Like one theory is that they somehow functionally have a literal metalic compass in their brain, or potentially ... basically an ability to sense geomagnetic subtleties and anomalies, and use those as waypoints and guidelines, but... again I might be out of date here, but nobody has yet proposed a non problematic or well verified hypothesis.
Yea, I mean I'm not saying that to be mean. As I genuinely like the birds. They will talk to you when you get near them in the barns and the two we raised are still hanging out on the farm even years after we released them.
Oh me too!
I don't like... dislike pigeons, they just are kinda dumb.
Same with horses, I love horses, but goddamnit are they stupid, lol.
Like, it's not an insult to identify that different kinds of animals have different kinds of mental capabilities.
I'm just trying to point out that... while pigeons are 'dumb' in a lot of ways, they do also at least seem to have something akin to a superpower, so if you judged conscious entities by that metric, presumably they would all think that we are basically mentally disabled, in terms of navigation abilities.
Something does not need to be highly intelligent to be loveable, appreciated.
You basically just have to meet them on their level, if that makes sense.
Nope %100 makes sense. And horses are definitely the second dumbest creature on the planet. They will try and kill themselves daily. Our vet always said that if a horse wants to kill itself, it'll find a way even in circular padded room. And we have a few that on a daily will try to do shit that makes you think how they're still alive.
I never properly like lived on a farm or ranch, but I have had a few girlfriends and friends that essentially coaxed me into being an unpaid stablehand, lol.
I enjoyed the learning experiences, genuienly, and just being able to be around animals, as disgusting and stupid as they can be haha.
But yeah, more than once, the gf that foxhunted, she'd come back with a story about how one horse in the group did something immensely bone headed.
That particular puddle? Its evil, fuck you, I'm not going within eyeshot of it.
Oh you want me to slow down around this tree, ok, here, imma take a shortcut real slow, that clothes the rider on a different tree.
etc etc...
Yep sounds about right. It's a rewarding work but it does make you wonder how they lived before humans domesticated them.
I feel like you could describe the psyche of horses with the sentiment in the phrase:
"But for the grace of God, go I."
Just a bunch of beautiful, dumb bastards who are uncommonly good at 'run away really fast'.
Doesn't matter what direction they're running in, they'll get somewhere, though.
Maybe even in one piece!
Yep, one my horses sister drown herself in 3 foot of water(shallow pond)...we couldn't figure out how since we didn't know her sister and was told the story by the previous owner. That was until we brought her to one of the deeper creeks on the farm....the second the water got to her chest, she would plung her entire face in and try to swim underwater. Come up and be half water logged get some air and do it again. Needless to say that's how we figured out her sister probably was rolling around in the pond, and literally asphyxiated herself via breathing in water enough that she probably passed out and drown.
I love that horse, but she's working with two braincells at best.
Oh jesus christ...
That's genuinely awful.
Ok, now that I've worked through that mental image...
Ahem.
"In the arms of an angel..."
how they have survived as a species is a mystery to me
Domestication is how they've survived. They've got odd little nests because they're from a warm area and they really just need a few sticks to keep the egg from rolling out of the cliffside pockets they naturally nest in.
We've transported them to areas they never evolved to live in, set them loose, and mock their struggle to survive.
Decimating their habitat is one thing, I will not tolerate the mocking of pigeons!
What is this a brothel for ants?
i always thought they were for birds to have sex in.. nope. turns out we're subsidizing lazy birds housing problems. bastards.
birds just dont want to work today
Sounds like a skill issue.