this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 39 comments
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[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I've heard that maga prayers on his behalf are forming protection around him, making him stronger every time witches try to cast spells to hasten his demise.

[–] KulunkelBoom@lemmus.org 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It didn't mention brain implosion. Or pre-frontal lobe exploding. Or shitting so hard he buries himself in turds and suffocates from yesterdays KFC gorging.

What about those things? Are those okay?

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 6 days ago

Those are okay.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

That's why I hope for vegetative State, stuck in a coma, conscious but not able to speak or say anything, just listen while everybody around him saying they hope he goes quickly, because they never really cared about him anyway.

But not fatal

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Best would be locked in syndrome but we can also pay to insult him in person and kind of spit on his limp face.

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

perhaps an extremely painful vegetative state, maybe one that lasts decades

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 week ago

He touches a gympie-gympie plant after being told not to? (See: staring at the sun)

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Locked in syndrome wouldbe such a fantastic torture for a malignant narcissist.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yeah but if that happens they might hook him up to machines that keep him alive forever thus making the god emperor memes true

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Put him on his golden throne, LOL

[–] Deckname@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 week ago

I have a suggestion to make.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So I can hope a vet shoots him in the face?

[–] john_lemmy@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Do vetenarians even own guns?

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can you ever truly own a gun?

[–] _g_be@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

First I can't own the libs, now I can't own a gun. The commies have taken everything from me

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. ... I don't even know of there is a pun in there anymore.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The one we used to go to does. We stopped after he showed it off to my inlaws.

He also liked to show off his "fuck Biden" birthday card.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 6 days ago

Nope, he ran a small animal clinic. He just was a MAGA.

staple gun maybe

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Most vets I know have access to guns. Or at least tranq guns.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't threaten me with a light prison sentence

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 1 week ago

Well you've left the world with a biohazard problem they now need to clean up. If he's cremated it's going to turn the air orange

[–] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well I declare it's double illegal to pray for his recovery.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

No take-backs!

[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Etterra@discuss.online 18 points 1 week ago

The Orange Jackass may or may not be in the hospital for some McReason.

[–] guy@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago

Trumps in a hospital? 😀

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago
  • president of the USA
[–] Etterra@discuss.online 4 points 1 week ago

I have no hope and do not pray - but I can imagine.

[–] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago

If he's rotting, it means I got him! Oh, I wish... One upping-etsy witches would be glorious lmao

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't mind doing some little illegal things every now and again.

[–] HocEnimVeni@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

It's ok every once in a while, as a treat!

Laughs in Canadian eh.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 0 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can gelatin contain one random peanut?

What funny ways to go are there in the hospital setting?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Any chance of getting that lone peanut into his IV bag?

Edit: Just wanted to also point out that any way he dies will be funny, no matter what.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The unfortunate part is that it won't be particularly funny when he shits himself during because he does that live on camera already and nobody does anything.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

It'll be the scene from Death of Stalin all over again.