I live in an economy that forces me to work or die
this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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My personality means I can't go bank robbing, but more often than not, I am thinking of Bhodi (from Point Break)...
Robbing just enough for their eternal summer...
"You must really love fish."
"Actually, I'm deathly allergic to them."
"Then why do you still work here?"
"Because I'm even more allergic to poverty."
I have successfully used this line, altered appropriately, in interviews multiple times. And they say video games never teach you anything.
I love your movies, especially the older, funnier ones.
sam&max hit the road reference? take my upvote.
holy mackerel!
I'm a trout, stupid!
Holy trout!
"A crippling addiction to food and shelter."
Something something throw the bum in a mental ward.
Fuck those companies who think that working for them is a privilege that few people should have access to
I saw a job application a while ago that asked me to record a video explaining why they should hire me
That's very common now. I've done a few, still no summer job :(
The video will be then fed into an AI
I remember going to a group interview over a decade ago for a (now shut down) bowling alley and part of the interview was having to explain to other people why you should be hired so they could convince the interviewer to hire you.
I would have sent in a video of me asking them not to bother even considering me if this is the type of lazy nonsense their HR dept gets up to.
Usually, those are the companies that pay you $$$$$
Wait... How did he get rid of the negative symbol before his account balance? You can do that?
Edit the HTML via inspect element /s
"Candidate not motivated enough"
"We take the guy with less money on his account"
I was meeting with my team the other day, and the conversation turned to our mortgages. My boss: ah yes, the reason we are all here.
Never negotiate from a position of weakness
That's the hardest question to answer since I am compelled to be honest and my honest answer is usually "Ha, I don't want to work here."
Right? Like, bruh I want to be using my degree to research wildlife and help with conservation efforts that have been a pervasive social issue since I was a kid watching Captain Planet, but those jobs are some of the most competitive while also being some of the worst paying.
Unfortunately, I need food and shelter yet those are becoming increasingly expensive, thus making it even harder for me to ever hope I'll get to use my degree at a professional level.
So, I'm sitting here applying to be [insert some bullshit, mundane job here] so I don't starve. I would literally rather be anywhere else than here begging from you for the means to fucking exist in this society.
But you can't say that in an interview.
Well, you can; you just won't get the job.
That much?
Flawless logic. Instant job offer.
"Candidate believed to be unable to conform to company standards. Suggest to look for candidates with more ability for casual sales and representing harsh facts in a positive way."
I hope to live to see the (putting it nicely) cargo cult that is this economic system destroyed for eternity.
