this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Slop.

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For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.

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[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 59 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He actually thinks that quote makes him look like a badass lol

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 49 points 3 weeks ago

"I'm afraid of Black people"

[–] GeckoChamber@hexbear.net 48 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I bet he finds most things hard to explain

[–] Dr_Pepper@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago

Like object permanence

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 39 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Rom@hexbear.net 26 points 3 weeks ago

Naive dingbats hahaha

[–] huf@hexbear.net 35 points 3 weeks ago
[–] D61@hexbear.net 35 points 3 weeks ago

I too am uncomfortable around cops.

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 34 points 3 weeks ago

Oh its easy. You're a massive coward

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 34 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Being afraid in either scenario is silly lmao. In the wilderness, the apex predators don't want to harm you! Unless you live in polar/brown bear territory but that's not a problem in the US. You just gotta do your own thing. Living in irrational fear all the time is such a conservative mood

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There's a small population of grizzlies around these parts so the conventional wisdom is if it's a black bear you yell at it to fuck off but if it's brown you better hope it's not hungry

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago

Those glizzies dont stand a chance against me

[–] Ekranoplane@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

Nah the actual wilderness will happily fuck you up. Don't fool around in the woods.

[–] Frivolous_Beatnik@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago

True to a degree - a lot of the "wilderness" outside the suburban blight is formerly cleared woodland where a ton of old-growth forests were destroyed and most potentially dangerous animals driven out. The most a lot of these chuds have to worry about is mosquitos and ticks.

You right though that if you're not prepared in real wilderness you can get lost, take a severe fall, starve, freeze, get heatstroke, get poisoned, bitten, contract disease, frighteningly easily. Be smart out there!

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[–] Jabril@hexbear.net 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Every person like him is really a scared little child

[–] Dr_Pepper@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago

Type of person who is afraid to eat vegetables.

[–] fuckiforgotmypasswor@hexbear.net 32 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

its hard to explain to people that black people scare me more than trees

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 29 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Wearing my awkward chest holster to pipe smoking camp.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is what happens when the campy need to accessories conflicts with the innate fear of an American man being perceived as feminine. Instead of a useful sling bag, you get a useless/dangerous gun holster.

There is no more of a campy fashion obsessed person than someone pretending to be a cowboy. I work in the southwest in orthotics and prosthetics and have had full grown men have crying tantrums when I tell them that the brace I built to help them walk again won't work with cowboy boots. "Do you know how much these cost, they're hand stitched!" Is something Ive had screamed at me multiple times. My dude, you work for paycom. They would rather be physically impaired than than give up their suburban cowboy dress gimmick.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is really, really funny, and I want to thank you for posting. I needed a laugh today.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 13 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

It would be hilarious for me as well if it wasn't so commonplace where I am. One of the ortho docs at my hospital got in trouble a couple years ago because he made his own commercial for himself after the marketing department told him he couldn't wear his cowboy hat/boots in their commercial.

Him and his office still occasionally wear the shirts he had made out of protest/spite after being subpoenaed by the head of marketing.

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[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 23 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Even better, I'm pretty sure that's a vape not a pipe

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago

Ceci n'est pas une pipe

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You have got to be kidding me, just smoke a pipe!

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago

I can only imagine the tobacconist is somewhere in the scary town, whereas the vape tree is somewhere out there in the wilderness.

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[–] webp@mander.xyz 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Because of social anxiety, right? ...right?

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fuck Cars. That's what this is about, right? anakin-padme-2

Driving in US cities is pretty terrible due to car-brained infra. But this dork doesn't comprehend any of that I'm sure.

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, I would bet that you're more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the city than you are from being in the city.

[–] spudnik@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

And one of the more likely ways to die in the city is still cars

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[–] isame@hexbear.net 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They recently made open carrying legal in my (US) state. My work takes me to grocery stores across a few different counties, of varying rurality. It makes me laugh out loud to see some chud at his neighborhood Publix after church on Sunday strapped with his cute little pistol and holster. Motherfucker you are surrounded by YOUR PEOPLE. What are you afraid of? Hm?

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My state passed constitutional carry a couple years back, and to celebrate a ton of people were just taking their ar-15 everywhere they went. Me and the rest of the patrons at chain bbq restaurant got barrel swept multiple times by a chud who was carrying his AR across his chest with the sling around his neck, using it as an arm rest.

[–] blunder@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like self defense is justified when being barrel swept by a 5.56 rifle

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 11 points 3 weeks ago

In my state I think it's dependent on your skin color.

[–] isame@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

It's probably me. Well, not me exactly. I'm a queer commie but I'm not brown so I pass okay.

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Got a handgun and is scared to drive into a crowded area, yet I’m supposed to believe this man’s a hardass

What an incredible reality we live in

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

As a city dweller I used to fight against this kind of propaganda, but as time went on I realized the only kinds of people I hate running into in my city are the kinds of people who are visiting my city. Not every visitor of course, but these kinds? I hate them. They suck. They ruin everything.

So now when someone asks me how scary it is to live in my Big Scary City I tell them about all the Big Scary Things I've seen and hope like hell it keeps them away.

[–] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yeah the mean streets of Kansas City

[–] TheDeed@hexbear.net 23 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly it is kinda dangerous here, but mostly because people like this bozo have a gun

I doubt he is from here though. No one here dresses like this. Maybe the suburbs

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago

Same type of guy who would lose his shit during the 'women choose the bear' meme

Here I am again, a rural amerikkkan hexbear, making one comment in the morning defending my rural comrades, then another wondering why I even bother.

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago

And yet, plenty of people live and walk around the town completely unarmed.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Terrible chest holster. Just get a normal set of shoulder holsters, christ. Also is that a 1911? Who tf carries a 1911 lmao

I mean it's a fucking cool gun and I love them but if it's your everyday to the point you have a chest rig for it I think you're just using the gun as a fashion accessory. And I'm not even against guns as fashion but at least have some taste

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Yes it's a 1911, and I just noticed it's not even cocked. I'm sure his master-level operator skillz will somehow buy him time to rack the slide when he's jumped by 30-50 feral transgender communist Khamas/MS13 members though. No sweat.

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[–] pierre_delecto@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

As they say, all hat and no cowboy

[–] free_casc@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

I was with abujch of chuds talking about how theh wanted to wear their plate carriers when we were getting dinner downtown. They really think this and it's just icky. At the same time, it isn't a bad thigk to be comfortable in the wilderness, but that's only 25% of the story here.

[–] Shaleesh@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

What if he just really hates driving?

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