Pete Hegseth once said in an interview that "beer doesn't work anymore", which is like the most alcoholic ass thing to say ever.
this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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lol what, does he not know they go up to 10-12% abv now
When you're dusting a bottle of vodka on the way to work the 12 pack no longer cuts it.
Maybe even those aren't doing it for him anymore 
Hegseth goes straight for the bottle of cleaning detergent
Someone should swap his morning whiskey for a shot of bleach
I saw a video of a guy using a bike tire pump and some DIWhy? plastic pressure vessel contraption to vaporize vodka many years ago. That sounds like it could be promising. That or maybe switching to like methylated spirits or paint thinner or something. He has options.
Especially when the average IPA is 9.5%
Actually he's specifically referring to Colt 45.
No statue of liberty is a recession indicator
I love how his comic self insert is always a pervert lmao
It’s so perfect because it encapsulates CHUDs perfectly.
They’re prudes with everyone else, and are proud to be horny for themselves. They think it’s a reward they get for conforming so well otherwise.
This is a dense one! Almost missed "thousands of casual tees" 
Ok I can't figure out what that is referencing.
Casual Tees = Casualties
It's punning casual tees/casualties. Which I'm reading as an excellent dig at how focused coverage/discussion is on oil prices instead of the actual victims of the attacks
"Bored Walk"
did none of us think to do a "strait of hormones" post?
he always does this.
We gotta come up with a pun for Kharg Island before the doomed ground invasion.
Star trek KHAAAAAAAN! But KHAAARRG! With peanuts type ARRRGH!
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Breastern front
Stan Kelly is one of the few 
s worth respecting 
Like how does this guy parody the American CHUD so perfectly?
Kellyfied variant of 
?
i was wondering why the guy had a deus vult tattoo then i realized it's hegseth
also: khomeini and the murdered schoolgirls looking down from heaven was an inspired choice
deus vult tattoo
- latest fad
What's the reference of the dog on the sky?
1980s Bud light mascot
He was a mascot for budweiser beer decades ago
Until he was killed in the drone strike that got Soleimani
I'll be honest, I don't really know about this one.
One of the best
One of the breast you could say.
"TWERKING"
*latest fad
I feel like we could use this :kelly-dismayed: for puns about losing treats and privileges
Beer 
el