Really, it's more like:

Conservatives in 1998: The president told a lie, impeach.

Almost every member of Congress in 2026: The president raped children, but it was with a rich friend, and I like money, so it's really not a big deal. Plus, they were girls, which...c'mon - who's going to take that seriously?

Conservatives in 2029: sure Trump fucked and ate a baby on live TV, but they said it was a woke trans commie baby so it's fine

not really conservative anymore, more regressive than anything.

If God didn't want us to eat children, why did he make them so damn delicious?

I ate a few children, but none of them are alive anymore.

I mean, who didn't? Can any of you really say you haven't eaten a child? It had immigrant parents, so it's fine.

Qanon were lead by Russia to fuck with retarded Americans

they only care about it as long as it's a conspiracy

same as how republicans only care about the "wellbeing of children" as long as they aren't already born

A few years ago, I read Marquis de Sade's 120 Days of Sodom. It was one of the most important books I've read because it gave me a new perspective on the depths of human evil. Did not expect to see the Epstein files be such a faithful reenactment...

What in the ever-loving holy hell is this?

Okay, so I know we all dislike the current administration, and the Epstein files are damning evidence absolutely.

And the sooner this regime changes or the office is vacated, the better for literally everyone on the face of the planet.

But I just want to make sure that everybody understands: there is currently no credible evidence that this has occurred.

There is no credible evidence that cannibalism occurred.

There are some very dubious things we could potentially conjecture about, but there is no evidence suggesting this.

And the helmet. Don't forget that he looked weak, because he was wearing a bicycle helmet, while riding a bicycle.

And the drone strikes

Those always were just code for criticizing his skin color.

Fucking children is always rape. But rape doesn't necessarily require fucking.

It should be fine as long as they are killed humanely and you use all body parts right?

It's much too modest a proposal. Scandalous for a politician, given that they need to keep up appearances. It would reflect poorly on the country if the leaders seemed poor.

Hmmm... I get the sentiment, and if you were just exaggerating a bit for comedy I get it. However... I just thought of something interesting about that comment.

We often say things like "a fate worse than death." And we make assumptions of where we feel we would rather be dead than go through something like that.

But now imagine you were a rape survivor and someone did the hard work to get over that trauma. I wonder what would go through their head if they parsed that statement as, 'Don't you wish they killed you instead of raped you and you were just dead right now instead of healed and alive?"

Social interaction is so so complex, I can hardly believe we manage it at all. Speaking as an autistic person that struggles with these nuances. Sometimes I just don't understand the rules of what some people are going to find offensive or not, sometimes it seems so random to me because I can't see all the variables I need to predict the outcome.

Edit: wait I just did it again didn't I. Were you just saying, "Eating them is less bad than a blowjob" which is a hilarious joke? I'm so bad at jokes 😭 I don't miss every joke, but I probably miss most of them.