Don't forget the chronic depression, crippling trust issues, and being perpetually single due to said trust issues...
this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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Mental Health
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Listen, I'm trying to doomscroll, not read my psych eval.
Note you can doom scroll your psych eval and have the worst of both worlds!
Don't need to read the article. Got shit from my father for using rivets when I should've used screws on my car. "Didn't anyone ever teach you anything?" he said. No shit cunt, YOU didn't.
You should know better.
Well, you should teach better....
You should have learned it before. You’re so lazy!
Right?
My dad when my mom did absolutely anything: "Noooo you can't do that why would you bla bla bla"
My dad when my mom wants to know how to do something: "..." crickets chirping
This is garbage.
I'll skip you a read, the article does not present data to support any of the statements in the title. Nor in the subtitle. It does however present multiple ads and popups.
This is your friendly neighborhood ego-appealing only-10%-higher-iq-can-solve-this-game article with "research" from psychologytoday, autocitation, and articles that do not even discuss what is being stated. This writing style underscores how the usage of AI to create engaging articles and foster a diverse community- what I mean is that thing is either written with AI intervention or by someone who reads them so much that they write like them.
Mental health is a real issue, that should be handled with real information, not this kind of fanfiction.
Have you ever met someone who can fix anything, figure out anything, handle any crisis with calm precision, and yet flinches when someone offers to help them? Have you ever wondered why the most capable person in the room is also the one who seems least comfortable receiving care?
I have. Because for a long time, I was that person.
I'm sure this would make a nice action movie introduction.
Separating competence from identity. You are not your ability to handle things alone. That ability is a nervous system adaptation, and a useful one. But it’s a tool, not a definition. You’re allowed to set it down.
Also comes with crunchy bits of quantum neural vibrations.
I'm not going to comment everything, but this is garbage.
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Can confirm.
Protip to not become a resentful adult: Vent and vent often. Keeping that shit bottled up is the starting breeding ground for most of today's personality disorders.
Quiet resentment eventually begets external aggression.
For me the quiet resentment has begotten a wicked dark humour, which I'm generally good with 😏
People tell me I'm hilarious all. the. time. Wish I was actually that happy.
They say the clown is often the saddest person in the room. It's certainly true for me as well
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Vent, but work to heal the underlying trauma. I've definitely met people with personality disorders that vent constantly, but they don't actually work on healing the damage and developing orthopraxia. If your perception of self or others seems destructive (even if you feel it's true) try discussing it with a professional. Maybe there's no issue, but maybe you'll get some tools to keep you from engaging in destructive behavior
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We're not all resentful, we just hate the people who refuse to advance themselves and adhere to some level of learned helplessness as their nominal state
When I date I meet women who are almost 40 who are still dependent on their elderly parents for basic adult shit, including paying basic bills like rent and food. They have minimal life skills of an adult. They just call up their dad and ask him to pay for someone to fix their car or mow their law, or he himself is still doing it for them.
It's pathetic. These people have good jobs too, they are just leeches.
Man... maybe that's why a lot of dates feel like a job interview these days.
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Add undiagnosed ADHD and ASD to that and you've got a great recipe for life full of struggle, anxiety, identity issues, bonding issues, the list goes on. You keep wondering how everyone else is so cheerful with everything that's going on within your own life. Not to say you can't escape it, but it is lifelong hard work.
I'm married to someone who had to be the adult and take care of her family (siblings and mother) starting age 11.
My wife is unstoppable. But she expects adults to be adults, because she had to figure out how to be one by herself. And that's where the resentment comes in.
That's how I feel. I don't have empathy for people who are over 25 who act like children. And yet people tell me I 'lack empathy' for someone throwing a temper tantrum in public over some perceived slight or their hamburger having 1 less pickle they think it should.
But I just end the relationship. I can't respect people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Once I realize they aren't going to do that, I am no longer interacting with the person. And there is a significant number of people who go through life never taking responsibility for their actions and blaming other people for their mistakes. What I can't understand is why other people like those people... but often they do because they are charming on the surface.
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Yeah that was me as a kid. 1-2 siblings, parents worked 7am-6pm or later, and mom travelled a lot for work. I did all my own stuff starting at ~6yo, cooking/cleaning/laundry by 8yo, caring for my baby siblings starting at 11yo (including overnight childcare).
I don't resent anyone for it (no cope, I think my childhood was good overall). Parents both started from absolutely zero and became very successful. Both parents were loving and supportive. But I definitely am left with the feeling that if I can't handle something, someone else will either do it incompetently or not think to do it at all.
That attitude has not yielded lots of friends or the support I probably need. People assume I don't need anything and I don't know how to ask.
My parents were both raised the same way and also turned out that way.
But I definitely am left with the feeling that if I can’t handle something, someone else will either do it incompetently or not think to do it at all.
In my many decades of experience, the only people who can do it competently are going to charge a fuck of a lot of money for their time, and even with an expensive contractor, it's 60:40 they'll do it right.
Mechanics will replace the entire cooling loop and sensors in a car to make an extra grand. HVAC techs will charge you an extra Benjamin to replace a contractor along with the capacitor, just in case it was a problem.
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The ones who succeed maybe, plenty of people are broken or malformed by the experience. A child raising itself, especially in poverty or resource scarce environments, will make many harmful mistakes that hinder them their entire life.
I was going to point out the survivor's bias.
I remember being a child and finding a book called "How To Do Nothing With No One All alone By Yourself."
I enjoyed the book, but wondered about the people who would need that book.
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Was latchkey kid with add. I only move in predicability. Work, relationships friendships all work because I can predict their behavior.
And hilariously enough I've gravitated into being a Dominant in a D/s relationship. Because if you can control it, you can predict it. (It's consensual)
Also... Therapy kept me from being resentful.
Grew up teaching myself, except that my childhood was traumatic. Narcissists, drug users, abandonment, etc. Grew up expecting harm from others unless I gave them what they want. Also highly sensitive to the idea of fairness and perceived rejection (neurodivergence or trauma responses).
Service top. In control, but doing what others want. Needs reassurance and an expression of desire while in control of other people.
Partner selection is a pain in the ass.
Please don’t @ me like that.
lemmy users are a collection of high iq free thinking individuals who are extraordinarily competent.
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Emancipated at 16. Had to take my younger brother with me. I am so much better for it but it was a massive struggle.
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often becomes adults who are extraordinarily competent
yeah... about that...
(still financially dependent (and emotionally attached to my mother since I never felt confident to explore the world on my own and make friends))
As for the resentment...
You have no idea how much I just hate my birth country.
I have this fantasy of having a perfect relationship with my mother but its this stupid ass ultra-conservative culture that destroyed that could've been.
Every time I my mom yells at me... every time I have conflict with family... I just can't stop thinking: I fucking hate China, fucking toxic culture
I kinda feel like all this shame of my depression is like the spirits of my ancestors taunting me, calling me a coward for not being able to just "be strong" or whatever the fuck that means... so I just hate that country as a proxy to hating my parents... whom I don't really want to hate... so I blame the culture, the country instead... the toxic culture robbed me of my relationship with my family of origin...
And for that, I will forever hate China... I never wanna re-visit that place ever again...
Who the fuck even wanna deal with the firewall bullshit and censorship on top of it? Jeez... I rather face my risks in the US of ICE or whatever, at least if I get shot by ICE, I would actually get sympathy... in China, they'd call me a lazy loser and totally ignore the existence of depression... and at least I could binge watch youtube in the US... China has zero media and is boring af... idk how people even survive the boredom...
Fuck CCP, Fuck Confucious, Fuck "Filial Piety"
/end rant
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Most useful stuff I know if because of the internet, so it's pretty goated for that. No squeaky doors in my house, you fuckass hinges, wikihow gave me a hammer and y'all are just puny nails /s
Schools should just expand the stuff they teach imo, for cases like that, because im pretty sure there will be a lot more kids just like them
I have been asked on more than one occasion by folks who have heard enough of my story to know what I’ve come through how I managed to come through it, and my response is steadfastly: “Because I had to.”
There’s no great secret. No deep well of reserves. You just keep going.
It’s not exactly healthy, nor does it make one the most happy person. You unlearn what you can, when you can, or try to, anyway.
You shove it all down, and keep going.. Then wonder why you develop so many health issues in your mid to late 30s.
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Compentent? Maybe. Resentful, yeah I'm working on it okay.
Even worse is when adults actively deny teaching you something basic like washing clothes or cooking food, always saying "Leave it to me". I am very resentful of that
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Stop seeing me
Also, often while you were teaching us, we learned leasons that were not part of your teaching plan.
Can you please not write/post articles about me? I'm feeling targeted.
A lifetime of anxiety, avoidance, borderline abusive social connections, and not being able to connect with my own emotion until my mid thirties, reporting in.
Doing better these days, it's scary to ask for help. I've learned to choose the right kind of friends. So now when I'm brave enough to ask, they're available and listening.
Not me being constantly told that I lack common sense when the reason why I'm being told those things is that I believe that people have value and should be treated with kindness by default, or that things can get better.
If your common sense does not include those things, I don't want to have anything to do with it.
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