this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2026
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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 

Give me your mum jokes!

top 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Your mum's so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 13 points 1 month ago

That's s good one

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

Wow, that's brutal!

I had a flatmate at one time who walked past my room, sick his head in the doorway

and said"Your mother just rang, she said she wishes she aborted you in the 2nd trimester"

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What I came to ask. He should be here.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 18 points 1 month ago

YO MOMMA is so fat, we're seriously concerned for her health.

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your mommy is so big that the big store called and said "no that's too big".

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

trump called her very bigly tremendous

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

I've never heard of this trump fellow

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Trump wasn't interested in her. Too old

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

One of the greatest tragedies of life is getting to an age where you have to stop the mom jokes IRL because people's moms start IRL dying.

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The mom jokes have nothing to do with the irl mums. My mum died 20 years ago, a good mum joke doesn't.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My favourite dead mamma joke was when a friend said "I fucked your mom last night." I replied "How? Phone sex through a Ouija board?" Then making the hand gesture pointing to the letter "O" over and over again.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 4 points 1 month ago

My mom was an abusive piece of shit who I haven't seen or talked to since I was 18. I'm now 47, and I have no problem with people making fun of her. Thanks to therapy I don't hate her anymore, but that does not mean that I love her.

[–] knobbysideup@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Mom died 2 years ago. Still get these at work. I take no offense.

[–] Zagam@piefed.social 10 points 1 month ago

Yo momma so old her social security number is 1.

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That is an unbelievably sexy woman in the pic, damn.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

Gimme a bellybutton I can build a shed in

[–] potatoboy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

Sexy and fat

It's not healthy but it looks good

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 5 points 1 month ago

YO MOMMA is so stupid she sits at ALDI's under the counter and goes beep.

"You like thicc girls?"

"Yes"

"How thicc?"

" "

[–] TaterTot@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

Your mamma's so fat Ben Kenobi said: "That's no moon..... that's yo mamma!".

[–] Zagam@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

Yo momma so mean it take a train and 2 busse to get on her good side.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whoever created this image should be slapped

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

By Jax's mum. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 3 points 1 month ago

Yo momma so ugly that Cronenberg cast her in a movie.

[–] tatterdemalion@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Your momma's so fat, she got shot with a tranquilizer dart when the hippos escaped from the zoo.

[–] ruko24@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

Yo momma so fat, she cut her finger and gravy came out

[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

yo momma so old she went to school with a t-rex

[–] mech@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yo mamma so big, when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 3 points 1 month ago

That's like the first one you learn when you're in grade school. It's right up there with "yo momma so fat she got her own ZIP code."

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What the hell is going on with the scale in this graph?

Please explain.

[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] lasta@piefed.world 1 points 1 month ago

Yo mama so hairy they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

"Richard Matthew Stallman, Titanic"

[–] Zagam@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

Yo momma so fat when the weather man said it was chilly outside she ran out with a spoon.

[–] purplerabbit@piefed.blahaj.zone -5 points 1 month ago

Meh, can't say I'm really nostalgic for fatphobic jokes.