this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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3.Mildly Infuriating

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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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top 28 comments
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[–] postnataldrip@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Your heart might be full but your balls sure as hell wouldn't be

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I don't get the artist from Isreal part. Is that part of the joke?

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 31 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Best sci-fi I've read this year.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 14 points 12 hours ago

Somewhere, a little tech bro of tomorrow is dutifully taking notes that fundamentally misunderstand the message.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Its very cyberpunk for sure! I think it was Cyberpunk Edgerunners where in the background of many street scenes there's folks just zonked out on the street with little fap machines going nuts on their junk while the world passes them by, completely oblivious to everything

[–] not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 hours ago

hence the name

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 60 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

This is completely unrealistic. The nutrition tablet goes up your ass (the effects are the same)

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 21 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

For most people there's no difference of ass and mouth.

[–] fleem@piefed.zeromedia.vip 20 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

everything's cool after a shower

[–] greyscale@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] fleem@piefed.zeromedia.vip 6 points 15 hours ago
[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 45 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

James my local fishmonger told me he jacked off one time but he didn't like it so he never did it again. Guy fucks all the fish though, I told him that's just jacking off with extra steps but he's in denial. A true nofap kind of guy you know?

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 17 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Over at the 'Bate & Tackle Fishmongery? Heard they make good coleslaw.

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 18 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I tried their coleslaw, it put cummies in my tummy. I then went to some kind of human poultry farm for some eggs and ate those so that the coleslaw could fertilize it. I gave birth to an adorable abomination of a plate of chewed up fish and chips right into my toilet a few hours later. My roommate says I just puked but I know what I ate, that's how babies are made.

Stop, I can only be wanked off so many times before I decide that it's not enough.

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

Jordan Peterson's nightmare

[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

? Why doesn't the nutrition tablet jack me off?

[–] e8CArkcAuLE@piefed.social 33 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

that’s why it should go up the ass

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 12 points 15 hours ago

You didn't subscribe to the premium plan.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 17 points 15 hours ago

i updoot this post

it jacks me off

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 8 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Ahhh, a future we can all strive towards!

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 3 points 9 hours ago

Yeah isn’t this still better than the current timeline?

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 14 hours ago

Just stay alive. AI will do the rest.

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 5 points 15 hours ago

Pure poetry.

[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 0 points 13 hours ago