this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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If you’re anything like my parents, you probably wouldn’t even understand most of the content that floods my social media, no matter how hard I try to avoid it.

Here’s a recent example from Instagram: “Do y’all females ever tell ur homegirls ‘Sis chill you letting too many dudes hit?’” Essentially, that means: “Women – do you ever tell your girlfriends that they’re whores and need to stop letting so many guys fuck them?” The reel, posted by a 19-year-old man, appeared on my Instagram feed without me wanting to see it, or ever interacting with any other similar content. The comments that followed were pure misogyny. “Women see body count as a leaderboard and they try to outdo each other,” was one of them. Translation: all women are competitively promiscuous.

Consider the use of the word “female” in these posts. It is not a neutral term here, it is a term of abuse. It’s used by teenage boys to degrade us and equate us to animals. Boys are never described as “males”, but girls are always “females” – the equivalent of sows or calves, creatures that are less than human. We’re also “thots” (whores), “community pussy” and “bops”. “Bop” stands for “been over passed” and is a derogatory term used by boys to refer to a girl they’ve decided has been “passed around” or had too much sex. Sexual equality has ceased to exist online. It’s absolutely fine for boys to have sex, but when girls do, they are called worthless and referred to as objects. “When community pussy tries to insult me, I just want to beat that bitch up.” That’s a message I saw on TikTok.

I’m a 15-year-old schoolgirl and like most teenagers I spend a fair portion of my spare time on social media, often scrolling through short-form videos on apps such as Instagram or TikTok. All of my friends use those apps, and many spend multiple hours a day on them. I actively try to avoid online misogyny, but I am met with it incessantly whenever I open my mainstream social media apps. It only takes a few minutes before there’s subtle or overt misogyny, such as comment sections on a girl’s post filled with remarks about her body, videos made by men or boys captioned with a degrading joke, and even topics such as domestic violence or rape, trivialised and laughed about.

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[–] Tarkcanis@lemmy.world 9 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

I was gonna say unpopular opinion, but maybe not...

disengage from social media. It is not reality. not only that, but it perpetuates itself, and the oligarchy that created it. Go out and meet people in the real world. This is comming from an autistic person with minimal patients for other people. Seriously, ditch social media; it's poison, and when it dies (which it will if people like you leave) these toxic peope you encounter will have to face the real world.

[–] sleepmode@lemmy.world 1 points 14 minutes ago

I can confirm this. Kill your television rings true.

[–] Floon@lemmy.ml 2 points 41 minutes ago

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...

To a first approximation, all boys suck.

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 1 points 47 minutes ago

I think this is some intergenerational religious byproduct. Agree, women/men can fuck about as much as they want and it shouldn't be degrading. Enjoy your body/life. Yolo

[–] super_user_do@feddit.it 14 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I just don't believe all of this is real anymore. It's a fucking psyop! Men and women are different kinds of comments under posts. If a woman looks at the comments of Reel where a woman promotes the most depraved, objectifying a degrading things to do to guys with the sole purpose of making them suffer, they will only see comments of other women (rightfully) blasting OP in the comments. But when a guy opens the same comment section he will 99% see only comments of women encouraging other women to be the most evil things humanly possible.

It is not a conspiracy, it's a really effective way to farm engagement for basically free. We are letting them take control over society with the most obvious divide-et-impera tactics ever applied in human history

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 45 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Delete TikTok and Instagram for starters.

[–] KaChilde@sh.itjust.works 19 points 5 hours ago (5 children)

This is simple advice for an adult who isn’t mired in the drama of high school. For most teens, these apps are how they socialise, how they share information and learn what is cool or uncool. Deleting the apps means you have cut yourself off from the social system and have made yourself a social pariah.

An equivalent for the millennials and gen Xers would be not having Facebook as a teen. It meant not being invited to parties because Facebook was the only platform people used to plan events. No one was going to seek you out individually because it was assumed you were on Facebook and would see the updates.

I agree that social media is harming all of us, but telling teens to just not use it ignores what it was like to be a teenager.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 2 points 47 minutes ago* (last edited 46 minutes ago)

I route my ig through matrix via https://beeper.com/ so I don't have to open the app, but people can also still dm me.

[–] Bazoogle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

I was a teen with social media. Not using it is totally valid advice. But simply saying "don't use it" is like telling a smoker "don't smoke"

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 9 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

I agree with this sentiment, but fuck do I feel old rn. Myspace was my generation's Facebook. And it was so much cooler! Custom backgrounds/layouts, and music. Facebook just seems so sterilized in comparison, and it makes me sad.

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[–] vithigar@lemmy.ca 19 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Sexual equality has ceased to exist online. It’s absolutely fine for boys to have sex, but when girls do, they are called worthless and referred to as objects.

This isn't new. I'm a man in my mid 40s and the disparity between how promiscuous men are viewed as compared to promiscuous women has existed for as long as I've been sexually aware, and well before.

Obviously that doesn't make it okay. I also have no idea what the solution might be. There have been a few cultural efforts to normalize the idea of women enjoying and seeking out sex but none of them seem to really reach the people that need to hear it.

I do find it oddly paradoxical that men who make it very clear that they are actively seeking sexual partners would disparage women for being sexually active.

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 15 points 5 hours ago (8 children)

I do find it oddly paradoxical that men who make it very clear that they are actively seeking sexual partners would disparage women for being sexually active.

They don't want experienced, knowledgable, self-confident partners. They want naive young women they can gaslight and abuse.

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[–] null@lemmy.org 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Obviously this is true and it sucks, but I don't really view it as a man vs woman issue. I think it's a social media issue where these companies purposefully push outrage content to drive up engagement. It's an unethical practice with little to no legislation protecting users exposed to it.

Many of these platforms don't even have a way to opt out, forcing users to view it via "suggestions" in their main feed.

[–] Bazoogle@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

The disparities existed before social media, social media is just magnifying them. So it is more than just social media as an issue

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