I only feel sorry for the Guinness World Record judge
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
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I just imagine them being very clinical about it. Just standing there with a clicker in one hand and a timer in the other.
Yet 48hrs before the 'event' at Guiness HQ
You gotta at least wear eye protection.
"Wait a minute, sir, I have to call my boss. Walter, do we count dry orgasms?"
there gotta be smell/texture/viscosity standards for the judges to know what counts
That's one jerk every 9 minutes.
I can only imagine the pain in their balls and arm they must've felt after a while.
Their prostate must have looked like a dehydrated pumpkin
This pumpkin looks how I feel
Their dick probably didn't look much better. Even with lube that's gonna chaff after awhile and probably took off at least a layer of skin
Professional wankers switch hands every five minutes. It helps to rest each arm each session.
That's a gooner move, resets the clock so you can go longer
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“…after the previous holder died from his last attempt.”
He died doing what he loved…
…Himself
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there's a whole train of women masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
y'all should try to break the record.
Collectively they may have
Fake. 36 red bulls would literally kill a horse, let alone a human, even if they weighed as much as a horse.
Horses die from the dumbest shit tho
Lol, can't their stomach's like literally flip upside down and fuck everything up?
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Nah .... The info is not 100% conclusive but it's a huge risk to say the least. Still, there is more that does not add up. 36 can's equals 9 Liters (304 US ounce) of red bull .... Try washing down 9 Liters of a super sugary (lightly-) carbonated drink.
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don't they send someone over to watch you break the record
Not just one but a bunch of nuts cum over.
He must have very soft hands, I'm usually chafed after 6.
omg they could split this record into two categories - with lube/lotion or without.
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haha pump
I know a challenging fap when I see one
Implying he would use lotion instead of lube. Fucking amateurs. If you're a frequent wanker and you haven't graduated to real fuckin lube then you're a bit of a joke.
How do they measure an orgasm?
Multiple judges must be present and observing closely. They are experts in distinguishing moans
I'm pretty sure 36 cans of Red Bull would kill you. Humans can't handle that much caffeine.
Can't find the Death by Caffeine site (or they changed it) any more, but this one says 5 Red Bulls max per day for a 175lb person.
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2 short of true headline greatness.
In west Philadelphia born and raised…
I bet he didn't even use Margaret Thatcher's Boner Smasher.
fasc-light
He could have easily hit 80 if he was drinking C4.
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