Implying he would use lotion instead of lube. Fucking amateurs. If you're a frequent wanker and you haven't graduated to real fuckin lube then you're a bit of a joke.
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
283 points (95.8% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
37958 readers
3835 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I'm pretty sure 36 cans of Red Bull would kill you. Humans can't handle that much caffeine.
Can't find the Death by Caffeine site (or they changed it) any more, but this one says 5 Red Bulls max per day for a 175lb person.
That seems right. The lethal dose of caffeine is 100mg per kilogram of bodyweight.
Uh that math doesn't checkout. I weight 90 kg
There are ~110 mg Caffeine in Red Bull.
I would die long before I got anywhere near 80 cans of Red Bull
Fake. 36 red bulls would literally kill a horse, let alone a human, even if they weighed as much as a horse.
Horses die from the dumbest shit tho
Lol, can't their stomach's like literally flip upside down and fuck everything up?
Nah .... The info is not 100% conclusive but it's a huge risk to say the least. Still, there is more that does not add up. 36 can's equals 9 Liters (304 US ounce) of red bull .... Try washing down 9 Liters of a super sugary (lightly-) carbonated drink.
The sugar could kill you in the long term, but I think here it's the caffeine you should worry about.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Professional wankers switch hands every five minutes. It helps to rest each arm each session.
Feels like a different person
That's a gooner move, resets the clock so you can go longer
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there's a whole train of women masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
y'all should try to break the record.
haha pump
“…after the previous holder died from his last attempt.”
He died doing what he loved…
…Himself
I only feel sorry for the Guinness World Record judge
I just imagine them being very clinical about it. Just standing there with a clicker in one hand and a timer in the other.
"Wait a minute, sir, I have to call my boss. Walter, do we count dry orgasms?"
Yet 48hrs before the 'event' at Guiness HQ
You gotta at least wear eye protection.
Imagine the smell 🤢
Pineappley?
Cummy
That's one jerk every 9 minutes.
I can only imagine the pain in their balls and arm they must've felt after a while.
Their prostate must have looked like a dehydrated pumpkin
Their dick probably didn't look much better. Even with lube that's gonna chaff after awhile and probably took off at least a layer of skin
This pumpkin looks how I feel
2 short of true headline greatness.
I know a challenging fap when I see one
How do they measure an orgasm?
Multiple judges must be present and observing closely. They are experts in distinguishing moans
don't they send someone over to watch you break the record
Not just one but a bunch of nuts cum over.
Did not know you could die doing that...
He must have very soft hands, I'm usually chafed after 6.
omg they could split this record into two categories - with lube/lotion or without.
Uncircumcised guys get a huge boost in the "without" category
I bet he didn't even use Margaret Thatcher's Boner Smasher.
fasc-light
view more: next ›