If this is happening at work then you need to bring it up to his boss or someone above him, preferably a woman who won't make excuses for him. Outside of work there's not a lot you can do except let him know that it's a huge red flag when older men want women without life experience.
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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Asklemmy
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First thought: I hope the women are safe and have an avenue to report him and get help if his advances are not welcome
Second thought: he's a creep
You know what I think.
First reaction: gross. My oldest niece is in her early to mid 20s and I'm 46. It's not just her, but young women her age are not attractive to me. They're kids. I mean, they deserve to be respected as young adults and they are responsible for their actions and decisions, but to my libido they are just too young. Anyone younger than 30-35 is too young for me to be seriously attracted to.
Some people are different and that's okay as long as everyone is consenting, but it couldn't be me.
A bit gross. Even more so if the woman is not welcoming to that sort of thing. ..OTOH to be fair if they are both into it then okay it's between those two.
That exact situation has happened at the building I work in, older 50's maintenance guy keeps calling out to and trying to have conversations with my early 20's coworker. She finds it extra gross that the married guy has a daughter about her age. At one point she got stuck riding the elevator with the guy and he tried touching/grabbing her shoulder and she noped out of there as soon as the elevator opened. At this point pretty much everyone at my work area knows about it and warns her whenever he is around so she just kind of avoids/hides from the guy.
What I find interesting is when older guys exhibit that sort of behavior, do they think it's just private between the two of them? Younger women like to talk and they definitely will talk about this stuff to friends/coworkers.
Sounds like she needs to talk to HR about it.
The same as with any other woman. As long as you're following the rules of etiquette I don't see anything wrong with it.
Yep. And those rules of etiquette are, no means no, no touching without asking, and if someone tells you to knock it off you stop the behavior immediately & permanently.
Putting the whole married thing aside: Early twenties? gross, whatever the situation or the way he flirts. Late twenties? I suppose it could be okay. However if he’s literally constantly hitting on every single cute-ish young woman, but never with older women, it’s very problematic.
And a married man should avoid flirting unless 1- his wife is okay with it and 2 - not only he avoids hiding it, but he is very upfront about the fact that he is married.
Now if a guy such as you described exceptionally finds himself flirting with one young or very young woman in extra-ordinary circumstances, not a huge deal (as long as he doesn’t behave like a jerk).
It’s early twenties I believe. And fairly often although he doesn’t hide that he’s married I don’t think
Sounds really sleazy.
There's a story here. I'd love to hear the story, because from a "simple basic facts" framework, it might be sketchy, but depending on context may also be entirely fine.
I’m curious what your theories on the possible story is?
Are the adults consenting or is it unwanted? Do you know for sure whether it's unwanted or not? Just because you disagree with it doesn't inherently make it bad, but if it's not consentuel then it is bad. If the female needs assistance, then you can help out, but if she's fine with it, then it's not your business.
I have no idea, that's why I'm asking you. In a retail or restaurant scenario it would certainly be less problematic (again, depending on context), whereas it would be extremely problematic at a funeral, for instance.
Oh. Well, I witness this at work. So it’s at work with colleagues and I’m sure it doesn’t just stop there…
I don’t really know why it would make much difference on the scenario though
What kind of work? Retail, Funeral, or elsewhere? Flirting with coworkers, customers, or someone else?
Warehouse
Could it be problematic.? Yes but it also depends on both people involved. If she doesn’t mind it and she is OK with it Then I don’t see the issue. It’s two consenting adults. It also depends on whether or not his wife knows it. Better statement is he even married. Another question are other people around when he makes the jokes? See these are all contextual issues that I don’t know the answer to.
You do say that there are other people around or, at least you are around. Here’s the question of other people have heard it. Do they have issues with it? Again does she have an issue with it?
Yeah, it's problematic.
Sorry you got down votes on this thread, it wasn't me. But next time more details will definitely help flush out the question, because context matters. Best of luck dealing with this guy, he sounds exhausting.
Alright. Thank you.