this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2026
75 points (95.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

37887 readers
1345 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Subjectively speaking. Or maybe not.

Please try and resist the urge to say humans, I'm sure it crossed everyone's mind

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago

Probably Alan Price. His face is just so nyeeh, and I think he was the first one to leave the band.

Ticks. Because disease parasites.

[–] AmieFromEarth@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Wasps. And i hate it even more that there are so many people that call every insect with yellow a "bee" and then say they hate bees. No. You hate wasps. Bees are mostly chill af and care about the flowers around you, while the wasp wants to inspect your ear canal and follow you if you walk away from them.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Parasitiods are pretty messed up. Don't tell the biologists I said so, though.

Certain exoparasites like lampreys also offend my bleeding heart sensibilities.

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I fucking HATE chickens. I have 26 and they are my least favorite animal by a mile. Stupid, smelly and often agressive.

They don't seem to be aware they're delicious with barbecue sauce.

[–] eletes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I saw a post that had similar complaints and recommended ducks. If you're keeping chickens for eggs, consider ducks

[–] jam12705@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Have ducks...ready to muder the flock and get chickens for the same resons stated above. Doesn't sound like much of an improvement.

Now I'm thinking of selling the lot and getting a bag of frozen chicken wings instead...

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 day ago

You just really like the eggs I guess?

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought you said Children and I was absolutely astounded at 26 😂

Do you own a farm or do you keep them in an allotment/garden?

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I live on a small farm I operate as a side gig. It's about an hour or two every day for the most part, some weeks it feels like a second full time job. I have the chickens, sheep, bee hives, pigs and one bitch ass duck. I also grow a small number of crops in season. Basically just a big garden.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 2 points 23 hours ago

one bitch ass duck

This duck has a name. The name is never used. The duck is referred to as "that motherfucker".

I have interacted with this creature across several planes of existence.

[–] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

Spiders. Definitely spiders. Don’t try to change my mind.

[–] kutt@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m glad no one said spiders, although they are scary they’re the best roommates

[–] yabbadabaddon@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

I know right? The one in my left nostril is a sweatie

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago
[–] loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Was thinking recently, they must be one of the apex predators in britain given that they're one of 3 animals which will actually attack a human

[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Mosquitos. Fleas. Ticks. Parasitic worms. Anything that causes diseases.

See I resisted saying humans. But fr, humans are the freakin worst.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 58 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Koalas are fucking horrible animals.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally – their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.

This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently…

Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.

Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio… There's a trend here).

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.

This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?

Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.

Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:

Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree.

An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.

If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is the obligatory response copypasta to that Koala copypasta:

I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.

Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.

An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?

Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death

This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.

Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal

It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.

additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.

Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.

If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.

If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!

Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).

Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.

Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.

Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.

Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?

This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,

Almost every animal does this.

which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?

Sounds like I have my answer for next week's question of "what's the worst plant on Earth"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] otter@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Meh, I'd rather let this copypasta be forgotten. It turns cool points into "bad" ones while exaggerating the rest. For example, it's COOL that this animal evolved specialized digestive organs to process a food in a biological niche that other animals can't exploit. There's great variety among animal brain shapes / textures, and having such a complex brain doesn't guarantee that all humans are that "smart". Other animals are also sedentary or sleep a lot (sloths, cats) and this is seen as being efficient. Other animals also do things that are pretty gross when viewed through a human lens.

On top of all that, it feels like justification for everything humans are doing to endanger the population.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I change my vote to humans, for constantly over-analyzing everything, including jokes.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ace_garp@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bedbugs. Not friendly at all. Hard AF to get rid of.

I have not seen them up close, just watched the videos where they come out of the cracks in wood when someone waves hand body heat over them. Gross.

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

They deserve the way they mate.

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wasps taking a close second.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 15 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Hard disagree on both. Only two species of mosquitoes are a problem, and the males are important pollinators.

Wasps are so diverse that there's so many that are cool! Lots of wasps are obligated pollinators like fig wasps. And they play a very valuable role as pest control as well. Hatchet wasps for example hunt roaches.

Wasps are bros, spiders are bros, and (outside of a. egypti) mosquitoes are pretty cool. Check out this pretty blue one (s. cyaneus)

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Mosquitoes/Gnats. Not even their predators like them. Everyone else hates them.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 days ago

Parasitical worms. I’d like to say why, but just thinking about it already makes me shudder.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 25 points 2 days ago

The deer ticks that spread Lyme disease.

Humans

Sorry, resistance is futile.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Bed bugs... and possibly roaches (only the species that infest homes).

If you ever had to deal with an infestation, you know the psychological damage it can give you. I'm sure it can give you PTSD as well.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 days ago (9 children)

I vote for seagulls- your local beach assholes.

I’ve been chased and harassed by seagulls, not for giving them food, but for eating food in their presence. I once saw a seagull grab a water bottle out of some lady’s bag. I remember witnessing a gang of seagulls dismember a live crab in front of a group of children. And to this day, I refuse to talk about the Nilla Wafer Incident.

They’re bullies, thugs, thieves, and they know it and are proud of it. Fuck a seagull.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Mosquitoes and it'd not even a debate.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (12 children)

Mosquitos, for inspiring the profession of Lawyers.

load more comments (12 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›