this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
299 points (98.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

29749 readers
374 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Feyter@programming.dev
anzo@programming.dev
BurningTurtle@programming.dev
pylapp@programming.dev
299
Yet another reason to hate on the worse DB in existence (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 day ago by cm0002@mander.xyz to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
22 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] VibeSurgeon@piefed.social 45 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think we all know it actually stands for One Rich Asshole Called Larry Ellison

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To be honest, until now I always thought it was because of Oracles.

[–] ghostahh@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Wind gusts are crazy today the way jokes are flying over heads

[–] xep@discuss.online 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The worst DB in existence, not to defend Oracle, is blockchain.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Blockchain isn't a Database, and the worst one is AS400.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 5 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

A400 is at least relational.

MongoDB on the other hand...

All data is, or will become, relational.

[–] locuester@lemmy.zip 0 points 12 hours ago

Based on what? It’s top notch for immutability, zero trust, proof of existence, accountability, transparency, uptime, decentralization, network resilience…

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 12 points 1 day ago

mongodb is webscale

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hahaha this is cartoonishly evil, surely it can't be true!

Next you'll tell me Ellison invests in creepy life extension projects and gives an insane amount of money to post-fascist politicians!

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago

Don't forget the support for genocide.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oracle is not the worse DB in existence. They are a worse company than MS, but I'd much rather be talking to Oracle than MSSQL.

(My go-to is PostgreSQL, tho.)

[–] bort@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

MSSQLMS is goat tho

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ah, that answers the question "when did oracle become so evil?"

[–] skarn@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Become"?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

Yeah, from the beginning

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago

"intelligence" <---> incompetence

[–] xcaliber47@europe.pub 2 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Hate to be the Devils advocate here, but Oracle is the only one (as far as i know) which provides a FREE usable server. FOREVER. Via OracleCloud

[–] moonpiedumplings@programming.dev 1 points 17 hours ago

They like to randomly delete them. It happened to me and a friend.

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Until it randomly gets removed without warning

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

FOREVER ^*

[–] xcaliber47@europe.pub 9 points 1 day ago

As far as i know, yes. Forever. Only 1 cloud provider that gives free usable server FOREVER (until they eventually change their policy or something)

[–] belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org 5 points 1 day ago

Mmm saas is not forever nor are loss leaders.