this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 31 comments
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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 68 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'd give her the cheese instead.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Where do you think all the cheese is going?

Spouse confirms: works every time!

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Who wouldn't be fascinated by a piece of cheese?

[–] MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (1 children)

To tell if it’s a big or small banana

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do I know if it's a big or small grape?

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I need an elephant for scale though :(

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's what you get when you monkey around.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

Nice username 😄

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

its in the room but nobody seems to wanna address it.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 1 week ago
[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I unironically do this. Reduce, reuse, recycle bitch.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What are the red things in the top photos?

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I think they're cheese waxes like from Laughing Cow. They're saying "melt down old cheese waxes to make romantic red tea-light candles for your Valentine."

Edit to add, "you may fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese." So bring some more Babybels to eat in the Jacuzzi by candlelight.

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 7 points 1 week ago

Got u these candles, my baby, my belle

[–] RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do I put the wax on my peepee?

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Only if you include the little thin strip of paper for her to unwrap it.

[–] Photonic@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

You joke, but these guys loved it so much they made an après-ski song about it.

I remember doing that as a kid, the wax makes fine candles.

[–] Freddyyeddy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Red candles wax is hotter. It's one of those weird universal thing....not like if you made a super cool wax then found a cool burning red tint/dye sure you could make one. But any candle you buy off the shelf red wax is hotter. Good luck unlearning this.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

w40k ork magic i see

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

My wife (who used birthday candles at one point): "And?"