I don't think I've ever read a sentence so on-the-nose dystopic as "new victories pour in daily". I think a Warhammer writer would get told to tone that one down
this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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even helldivers devs are like "nah, pull it back"
ChatGPT syntax
Don't be a Panican
Be an Amerixan
Amerixanax
the greatest nation on Earth
measured how?
white supremacy
Measured exclusively in bombs dropped on children and per capita medical expenses and bankruptcies.
Okay, not greatest, exactly, but it never fails to get a big laugh.
"New victories pour in daily"
Ok, who else thinks this really looks like Nazi propaganda?
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Immediately stuck out to me too, incredibly Fuhrerbunker-coded
"Steiner's counter-assault will begin any day now."
i thought panicking was like 80% of the reactionary brand.
- porch thievery syndicates
- home invasion fantasies
- going downtown
- bathroom policing
- MS13 tattoos
- the knock out game
- shakira law
- rainbow stickers
- twerking youth gangs
you can't take panic away from these people. it's all they have left.
if there's no reason to panic, there's no reason to flood the streets with armed, masked paramilitaries to disappear "the bad guys" or to pay Kid Cock to put on alternative halftime shows for hundreds of monolingual losers.
NextDoor hysteria stems from a deep, desperate desire to murder someone and get away with it
twerking youth gangs
This is @FlakesBongler@hexbear.net stolen valor. A mere imitation of his power.
mere imitation so far 
S'okay
Love can have little a Simpsons
As a treat
(I can't be online all the time)
It's not panicking, it's being vigilant. This is why i never leave my house and keep the delivery men at gunpoint when they drop off my treats
be a panican, not a panican't
did chatgpt write this lol
Oh definitely
My "Don't be a Panican" press release has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my press release.
Panican has got to be one of trump’s lowest energy insults.
I kept misreading it as pelican
Same here. My only thought is it’s supposed to be like “panickin’” which still sucks
Still think a panican sounds like a tasty pastry
"a Panican"? Is everything an identity with these people?
maga is identity politics for white people and temporarily embarrassed minorities
Keep calm and carry on consuming
Don't be a panican, be a paniCAN'T!