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this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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Like this 🖕
I've seen people put both hands up a little above the steering wheel and that was probably the clearest way I've seen.
Bow head down slightly, lift your hand slightly like a weak wave, show a little humility in your eyes if they meet.
I wave the back of my hand with all my fingers up except my thumb, index, ring, and pinky
I find that rolling over and showing my belly, while impractical, is reliably effective at diffusing these situations.
I usually wave at them as though I think they're a friend of mine just saying hello.
Usually I point at them aggressively to get their attention and then start miming Gluck glucking to show them how much of a dumb whore I am.
I don't think it's working though, usually they just flip me off and look real angry.
Hand up, and bow head.
This. It says, "I acknowledge you are upset, and accept blame."
Instructions unclear. Ended up doing the wave (like you see at baseball stadiums) alone in a car.
Accidentally dabbed.
Accidently my ass! Stop trying to bring it back!
(Edit: real answer) For most acknowledgements, I double-tap a light — beams, brakes, or hazards depending on current lighting conditions and relative position of other driver — because most things I would say to them are two beats long:
- “Thank you”
- ”Sorry”
- “My bad”
- ”Go on”
- ”Nice drift”
- ”You drunk?”
I once got an A on an anthropology paper by analyzing body language in vehicles and different driving cultures in different places.
Rock on. Were there any instances of local parlance you found peculiar or surprising?
One insight was the different behavior when a light turned green with someone at the front making a left turn.
Where I grew up that person would just have to wait, but in the city where I went to college they’d let one car turn left before opposing traffic started.
It was a bit of a culture shock being honked at for obeying the actual law.
because most things I would say to them are two beats long
LOL. Doesn't that mean it's completely ambiguous? There's plenty of awful things you could say in 2 beats.
I imagine that people flash twice because once could be a mistake, twice demonstrates intent. Three would make me wonder whether it's an ongoing flashing light.
I think generally one long flash is a negative acknowledgement or warning, 2 quick flashes is positive, and 3 or more is back to negative
I dont think any of that is a generally accepted code.
I remember reading a while back that the hazards twice = thank you.
I’d certainly interpret it that way if it fit.
The only issue I’d see with that convention is that in many scenarios in which you’d use it — other driver makes room for you to merge, brakes early to let you turn left, and so forth — you (should) already have half of the hazard lights actively repeating, which could muddle the message. But otherwise I like it.
Another random convention I learned early on was rapid triple-tap beams (i.e., like a strobe) = “speed trap ahead”
I usually just honk “SORRY” in Morse code.
Usually just a wave, but I'll give a full blown "I have no idea what I'm doing!" shrug if I REALLY messed up.
I have a huge purple dildo. I just start beating myself about the head and shoulders.
Otherwise known as a catholic penance.
What about the “sorry, my bad” while driving though?
You can do that at the same time as beating yourself with the purple dildo
Mantis starts beating off with a purple dildo
Me: "...the fuck is he doing?"
Look ashamed and maybe do a single flash of my hazards.
Hazards = boobs
Sorry? Hell naw. Double down. Make it their fault. Get even more mad than them. Brandish your gun. Then brandish your second gun. Fire a warning shot towards their vehicle. Finish your beer in case you need to get out of the car. Challenge other driver to fisticuffs. Lose. Go home and explain to wife why you lost another fight. Get sad. Go to bar. Get really drunk. Pass out on stoop of the Wayne County Building. Miss work for the 3rd time this month. Get fired. Get kicked out of house by wife. Move into bachelor apartment. No artwork on walls. Only Kroger brand bread, condiments, and cheese slices in fridge. See kids every other weekend. Start going to AA meetings on a whim. Find new job. Hit the gym. Find new hobbies. Meet new girlfriend. Come to terms with faults and find peace through meditation and mindfulness. Experience growth. Drive to work one day. Accidentally cut a guy off. Double down...
Just hit their car slightly with yours. You know, a love tap, to show them love and appreciation. Then show them your extended middle finger, signifying that you are standing with them in solidarity of thinking you’ve made a mistake. If you have a weapon with you, you can hold it up and show them to indicate that you are aware you could be perceived as a threat, but are making the effort to indicate that you aren’t.
I think the fact that there isn't a good way I think escalates a lot of otherwise defusable road rage situations.
Many people who get angry at strangers easily see someone apologizing as legitimatizing their anger, and people not apologizing as not understanding they are wrong. I don't think there is a good solution if people can't just accept that other people make mistakes and move on without any needed follow up.
Can't go wrong with the classic 🖕.
I pretend to shoot myself in the temple.
Then I put the gun back in the glove box.
If I have some free time, I’ll follow them to their destination and knock on their window before they manage to slip away, and then apologize. Many seem like they’re in a hurry, despite just arriving, so I’ll just shout out my apology as I knock on their window. Depending on how bad I felt, I might try to repeat the apology next week, seeing whether I can find them on the road or their destination at the same time
I flash my hazards for a sec. I also use that to say thank you.
No no no. First you do the walk like an egyptian dance. Then flash your hazzards. Then play peekaboo.
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Honk louder to assert dominance.
Back of the hand high and visible through the rear window, fingers and thumb slightly apart to reduce the chances of them thinking your giving them the middle finger (or two fingers in the UK).
One hand vertically in from of sternum, wry expression.
Lean into it and just flick them off. Unless you’re in America, because there, that shit will let you killed.
🤙
I've had this thought before. Like we've got dozens of ways to show insult or anger with a hand gesture, but no universal way to apologize with one
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