this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] hector@lemmy.today 5 points 13 hours ago

The 2nd amendment was canceled already.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

Hmm. I don't remember reading about anyone in, say, the Department of Agriculture sending an army of unhinged nazi-wannabes into cities to murder people, kidnap children to traffick for God-knows-what hideous purpose, bash people, mace people, gas people. I mean, I could be wrong. Some folks get pretty serious about soybeans ...

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 13 hours ago

Tom Homan sounds like a name a lizard person would choose.

[–] AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That's your defense? That's what you're going with?

"Whoops."

Bitch you murdered innocent civilians and we all saw footage of it from multiple angles! And you did it all in the name of making America safer... None of this was ever necessary!

[–] Goodeye8@piefed.social 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Somehow I doubt they'd let Luigi Mangione off the hook if his defense was "nobody is perfect".

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

No society can exist without offing a few executives here and there. That's too high a bar to clear

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

It's not just the murders.

It's the blatant flagrant boldface lies about what we have 27 different HD video angles of, and the slander and libel of the deceased's name.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah, but the options aren't just "absolute perfection" and "murder innocents". We expect you to be a third thing.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 12 points 23 hours ago

No you see, it's like when you're doing really good in a song in Guitar Hero, like you haven't missed a single note even through the tricky first solo, but then you miss a random note in the chorus that you've already played flawlessly twice. After that you just start missing notes left and right because the possibility of perfection is gone.

They shot a white lady in the face, that pretty much barred them from "perfection" so here we are, in the "fuck it" phase

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 1 points 21 hours ago

They already pwned that one specific lib so hard, what more could their supporters ask of them?

[–] Greyghoster@aussie.zone 26 points 1 day ago

Starts at the top. If employees commit murder doing the bosses orders and the boss doesn’t call the cops then the boss wants them to murder and is complicit.

[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago
[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

So that's going to be accepted as a defence when someone "oopsies" an ice agent, right?

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 5 points 14 hours ago

Well no population is perfect...

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Which agencies include violence, murder, and rampant contempt of court/human trafficking? Because even one is too many. Should be zero. If you want death squad privileges move to Iran or Russia.

No need, we have death squads at home.

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I use the same excuse when I cheat on my wife.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I too use the same excuse when I cheat with your wife.

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

Together we form a ring stronger than even aluminium.

[–] Davel23@fedia.io 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What's a little murder between friends?

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

A little premeditated, planned and purposeful Murder in the 1st Degree? Homan can say all he likes. Those agents injured Pretti one week, and murdered him the next. That turns out to be against MN law, I'm nearly 10% certain. And federal/ presidential pardons don't matter when it comes to crimes committed and adjudicated in a state, such as Minnesota.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Mn has not charged either murder though the spineless cunts. They get tough with poor people but what good are they now?

[–] foodandart@lemmy.zip 3 points 23 hours ago

Yup. And some are decidedly less than just good.