this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] paris@lemmy.blahaj.zone 63 points 5 days ago (1 children)

To anyone wondering, this is from 2019. There was a nest above a bunker and ants continually fell in through a vent and couldn't escape. Since there was no way out, cannibalizing each other was the only food option, and it was a good option in terms of new ants falling down the vent often enough that the trapped population of worker ants grew. When researchers installed an escape, the ants left and the carcasses left behind had marks that indicated cannibalism, thus how we figured out what had gone on.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

i was about to say GODDAMMIT THIS WEEK I KNOW MY SIL IS TO BLAME FOR THIS SOMEHOW but if we can survive nuclear cannibal ants since 2019 i can find a way to blame my sister in law for those too

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't know your SIL, and I honestly now feel kinda sorry for her. But I still kinda wanna know what else you blame on her. I'm not sure I even wanna know why, I think that might ruin the lore.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

well aside from her trying to convince me to cheat on my wife with her and, in her fury over my rejection of her, her trying to murder me with a knife, which story about her would you like to pick apart and decide that she deserves sympathy over because i am all ears. we quite often jokingly blame her for any and every shit that is bulling our way, because the fact that she is not currently in prison is funny.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ugh, my mental lore was that she's perfectly fine, you just blame her for everything. Kinda like Toby from The Office.

But now I no longer find her character relatable or sympathetic. Yet another thing she's ruined...

BTW, I'm glad she didn't murder you with a knife and I'm sorry that you have to live with her existence weighing on your mind. Sincerely.

Yeah, it's like watching Wicked and finding out the green one invented leaded gas and Republicans. Not every villain is sympathetic.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 70 points 5 days ago
[–] AnitaAmandaHuginskis@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

That's a brand new sentence right there, it has never been uttered by anyone before

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

Not even the greatest story writer could come up with this.

[–] callouscomic@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 days ago

This sounds like a great idea for a lemmy instance.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 31 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Great, now we're going to have mutated radioactive giant cannibal ants roaming the countryside.

Honey, get me the .375 H&H Elephant gun.

[–] Bazell@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago

Nahh, rifles would not be effective. We need this:

[–] engywook@programming.dev 9 points 5 days ago

Let's just hope they don't make it to the ass-blaster stage

I know what I'm watching this weekend

[–] Pacrat173@lemmy.ml 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

There’s nothing to worry about

The ants escaped November 04, 2019 they’ve been out a while

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago

Whoa whoa whoa WHOA!

NOVEMBER 2019??? GUYS!!!! THESE ANTS ARE WHERE COVID-19 CAME FROM!!!!

[–] klymilark@herbicide.fallcounty.omg.lol 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Honestly I didn't even see the date, just saw the headline and new what I had to do xD

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago

I was old what to do

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A million ants escaped. From a radioactive site. Fuck.

But then I reread "cannibal" and realized that this problem will solve itself by dinnertime. This is fine.

[–] Rudee@lemmy.ml 4 points 5 days ago

Good thing other people also know what "cannibal" means

[–] KnitWit@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

While technically true, that headline greatly misrepresents what actually happened.

Only connotatively, but yeah xD

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago

Can't believe it took so long for the obvious reason:

"The survival and growth of the bunker 'colony' through the years, without producing own offspring, was possible owing to continuous supply of new workers from the upper nest and accumulation of nestmate corpses," the team concluded. "The corpses served as an inexhaustible source of food which substantially allowed survival of the ants trapped down in otherwise extremely unfavourable conditions."

They kept falling in, and the ones that died got eaten by the ones who didn't.

Once they could climb out, they all just climbed out as soon as they fell in.

[–] Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social 7 points 5 days ago

Wasn't this a '50s monster movie?

[Deep Narrator's Voice} In a world.... where nuclear cannibal ants have escaped....

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Someone left the sugar out. I guess they wanted ants.

[–] aarch0x40@piefed.social 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

I don't know who this is, but they look like they belong in Creature Commandos.

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

The writers are running out of ideas at this point