Ask Lemmy

I believed babies were conceived by kissing. When I first released genitals might be involved, I was in disbelief, thinking something like "No, it cannot be. This would be too stupid. Then it must be kissing that makes you pregnant".

I lived in the greatest country in the world and everyone was so jealous of us.

That adults were intelligent

When I was a kid my parents would show me the NORAD Santa Tracker on Christmas eve, and of course had to explain to me that NORAD tracks everything larger than a baseball in the sky so of course they would track Santa's movements. This easily added a couple of years onto how long I believed in Santa because why the heck would NORAD have a Santa tracker if it wasn't real? The federal government doesn't do whimsy like that!

I think it was the fact that the little animations never changed from year to year that finally allowed me to drop that line of reasoning...

I believed dogs were all boys and cats were all girls.

When I was a kid I'd get a new stuffed animal, and somewhere on the tag it would say, "Made from all new material".

And for some reason I thought that meant the material had just been developed or discovered. Like they had a team of scientists in a lab working on a new type of polyester just so they could use it to make this shitty stuffed lemon that I won at a church carnival.

Thirty years later I realized it probably just meant the materials weren't recycled.

I believed that there were very tiny human workers in my body that made it run.

Justice, mercy, duty, that sort of thing.

That the future would be better.

I believed that one day I would find myself in a situation where I would have to save myself or a friend from being buried in quicksand.

Until I was about 5, I believed all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

I saw a commercial in the 70's for Starburst. All of them were the same pattern: Person pops candy into their mouth, next scene is them taking off hang-gliding.

I thought if I ate a Starburst I'd get sent flying off a mountain like the hang gliders. Not in a fun way... eat this candy and you're getting flung to your death off the top of a mountain. (I didn't understand what a hang glider was either)

When I was upset about what I saw all around me, I was told that animals don't suffer like we do. They aren't conscious like we are. I knew better, but when everyone is acting as if something is true, you can kind of get drawn up in it, and I guess I believed it for a while. It was a helpful belief to have.

That big fireworks from far away could somehow land on my family's car and burn us to death. Brought to me by my older sister trying to scare me at the age of 7 🙃

That the moon was moving and following us when we were driving.

That going to the bathroom at a neighbour's house was rude and that I had to hold it in until we got home. I vividly remember this one time I was sitting on my mum's lap. She talked for hours and I couldn't hold it anymore, but I also was embarrassed to tell her I needed to go home, so I ended up urinating on myself. I still didn't tell anyone until my mum felt her legs warm and wet. I still hate using any toilet that isn't mine but I at least do what I need to do now.

Hey op. The food and drink thing isn't fully untrue. Good is a good replacement for sleep, in the short term. It won't last of course, but you can give your bidy additional calories and it can help with the lack of sleep, in the short time. So like hours, not days 

• Cops are good

• Hard work pays off

• I might own a home someday

• The government isn't out to get anyone

• People are inherently good

• Drugs are bad

I thought hard work would be enough to make a living.

That everyone’s life is rife full of making main character dramatic life or death clenching decisions where you’re going to save someone and have to leave someone else behind (like falling off of a cliff randomly)

It was such a meaningless stress and a way for insecure drama addicted people start some of the stupidest fights out of boredom.

And that most people are deeply concerned about what you think and what you do. Fact is most people don’t even notice you’re alive and way more concerned in their own stuff.

A shame to admit this, but I believed in God until I was 12.

that adults knew what they were doing, and knew the stuff they were so loudly talking about. Was I naive.

That the world is fair, that here's good and evil, but no shades of grey.

That people in power do it for the good of the people

Not a belief, but a confusion: I didn't understand how maps with a "you are here" marker knew where you were. 😅

I'd look at commuters going the opposite way on the road and scoff at them for going the wrong way. Grandma's house is this way you fools, why are you going the other way?

That everyone secretly wants to be a girl.

i read about black holes in an encyclopedia and how nothing can escape from them when getting too close and thought that they're a real threat to me in daily life. i'd look around when i was outside making sure that i'm not getting close to any so that i don't get sucked in. i must have been very good at avoiding them since i never saw one.

the same encyclopedia had a part about human reproduction and showed an illustration of sexual penetration. i thought it looked uncomfortable and wondered why anyone would want to do any of that, and seeing how many people have kids i came to a conclusion that people do it because it's mandatory and you are required to do it. i was very much not looking forward to the day it's my turn to have sex, until i realized that you simply just don't have to.

in kindergarten my mom was talking with the caretaker about a "life-booster" that "wakes her right up". i interpreted it as it making her wake up because she's terrified by it. for a week i was living in dread, thinking that this "life-booster" was some kind of malevolent entity that wants to kill me, who might be nearby and watching me. i imagined it as some kind of evil goblin and i checked my room thoroughly every evening to make sure he's not hiding anywhere so that i'll survive the night. after a week i realized that they were talking about coffee and that's the thing that people drink to be more awake and that it makes no sense that there'd be a monster out there that's looking specifically for me.

That hamburgers were called "handburgers" because you hold them with your hand when you eat.

I thought they killed actors for the scene. Someone just needed to be sacrificed, apparently. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I thought that fire inheritly pushes things, and that all you needed to do to make a rocket, was to take a sizable flame, like a campfire or something, flip it upside down so that the flame pointed down instead of up somehow, and attach it to the bottom of something.