traingang

The reality:

You live in house 1. House 2 has a crazy old guy who shoots at anyone who tries to walk up his driveway to knock on the door. House 3 has a hardcore MAGA asshole who hosts loud parties every weekend where all the local pigs come and discuss how much they hate their wives while eating the murdered corpses of the good kind of pigs. House 4 is abandoned, it's listed for about 3 million dollars more than it's worth. House 5 has an unattended elderly couple who both have dementia. House 6 is also abandoned but this is because it's still filled floor to ceiling with rotting garbage that no one cleaned up after the owner died last year. House 7 has a Biden supporting lib. He plays golf every sunday with the guy in House 3.

The Americans yearn for dense, walkable urban development with strongly connected communities where friends live in places easily accessible within minutes yet they are unable to imagine anything beyond suburban sprawl.

No vegetable gardens, no wildflowers, no trees. What kind of yard is just boring old grass!?

You could instead live in one giant house where all the boys sleep in one bed cuddled up

in capitalist america being friends with your neighbors is considered an unattainable dream

Groverhaus 1-7

Doing donuts in The Sack (thats what we will call it) with my mates then going back to mine for a big fat gay orgy. My boyfriend will eternally mow the lawns we will call him lawn man he will only talk about lawns. Every day we will eat macs famous mac and cheese.

Are hedges illegal in America? Does American religion have a taboo against gardening?

Grove Street, home. At least it was before I fucked everything up.

If my friends live in all the pictured houses then where do I live?

Too bad, friend 1 to friend 7 live there, but you don’t.

Not pictured: the street cropped out from the bottom is lined with fast food drive thrus and gas stations because the freeway onramp is just up the road and since there's no tree or hedge coverage it's loud as fuck 24/7

ed edd n eddy ahh dream

all your friends moved into a cul de sac without you? rude

this type of neighborhood makes me think of that mountain goats song

hand in unlovable hand

Me in high school because our friend group was an insular clique and no one had any extracurriculars aside from our band practice where all our friends hung out anyway. Like it’s pretty rare for a social map to be so small and not have any loose ends. Turns out we all live within a few minute drive of each other anyway because none of us left our small town and we still never see each other.

Everyone mows their lawn on a separate day. There is never a day without the drone of a lawnmower

This is what happens when you try to recreate the conditions of a Children of the Corn style event without the corn.

Where are the fucking plants and gardens. It's so disgustingly desolate and barren, a suburban wasteland.

and there is no sky above. No stars. No moon. Just a shifting, sliding emptiness, my brain grasping for any sense of place or purpose. Nevertheless, my mortgage payment has processed. I don't know to whom it goes. Yet it goes.

Isn’t this just a Mormon “plural marriage” setup?

Capitalism stole community structures and left this in its place.

PS Friend 3 I hate to be that guy but the HOA says you need a driveway and a 2 car garage or it'll tank home values. I know someone who can get you a great deal.

I'd be into this if the houses and yards were smaller, and there was some forest around.