The man is a living embodiment of mall ninja
this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2025
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If he was more self-aware he could earn good money starring in an 80s style action parody called American Sensei or something
Personal favourite Seagal story is a costar came up to him on set and saw he was crying. They asked if he was okay, he said he was but he had just read the most beautiful script ever written. They asked who wrote the script, he said, 'I did.'
I can relate. This happens to me when I make myself grilled cheese sandwiches when I’m real hungry.
He is such a colossal asshole
yeah I'm a bluesman
Jorkin depenus is like mastering the taco bell value menu: it takes years of obsession, discipline, and surrender. It's not just a technique - it's a way of life. Whether I'm soloing or surrounded by attackers....
Jorkin depenus
surrounded by attackers
I've seen this meme before
'me like the poonany'
EA had a missed op not putting that track in one of the nfs underground games.
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater or Guitar Hero would have been better
that would be phat
why is actually a banger though
He once claimed to have fought Yakuza to defend his father in law’s dojo.
His ex wife says he’s full of shit and just yelled at some drunk clods.
So, while you might think he’s embellishing with all this talk of “monads” and “flow states” I’m past that, and am now fully doubting whether the guitar solo part of the story is even real.
I bet the fucker can't even play
Turns out he doesn’t even own a guitar.
can segall actually fight? i know van damme got humiliated in a bar once but was seagall ever legit?
Seagal was legitimate at one point in his life, but that was like forty years ago.
in the grand scheme of guys, yes, but in the martial arts world I would say no
Even in the grand scheme of guys, I really don't think so. Maybe when he was the fittest he ever was, by merit of fitness + basic boxing instruction he'd do better than half the population, but even then it's not by much and the question was in the present tense, where the answer is definitely "no" because he has a tough enough time climbing stairs.
Are you familiar with Chairkido?
Call it God, Source, a Monoid in the Category of Endofunctors.
He invoked the monad, John Dee's ghost is not going to stand for this
Dedicating your life to sounding exactly the same as every other asshole who “plays blues”. Fucking Pentatonic ass music.
A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?
I read it in his voice, so beautiful
you could be singing the blues about going bald but you went and got a transplant instead smdh