As a trekkie, I'm extra offended that he's tainting the name USS Defiant
this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2025
256 points (98.1% liked)
Not The Onion
19051 readers
729 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
It was probably planned as the Defiant class but the Dorito Dictator isn't going to be happy until he's named every single thing after himself.
Trump-class battleships
Slow, bloated, lacking any intelligence capability, staffed by only straight white christian men, mysteriously costs 10x what it should, has a pedophile ballroom, and is painted orange for some reason.
It'll never get made. We have heard enough time filling the destroyer and submarine orders the navy ordered 20 years ago. Those and drones are where sea warfare is going. Battle ships are billionaire dollar targets that can be taken out my a $5 million dollar missile. As Russia about how they were forced to ancher or remove their fleets around Ukraine. All by stuff you can buy at home depot. Modern warfare made battleships obsolete around 1947.
Even beyond the basic drydock capacity we straight up don't produce enough steel for this anymore. Even the US military industrial complex is a hollow shell.
It's basically a money laundering operation that kills children on the side
The child deaths are just a bonus
I guess that's one thing to be optimistic about
They new FFX frigates are supposed to be glorified drone controllers/motherships. Makes sense. dispersed force is the future.
Yup. You don't even need to damage or sink capital ships anymore. Just the threat alone keeps them out of fighting. When a guy with c4 and a dingy can knock your $20 billion dollar aircraft carrier out of the fight for even an hour, ist catastrophic.
I hope all of this frantically naming shit after himself is because he was recently told he's about to die
What they, and most other countries need, is much more smaller ships.
The reason there are no battleships produced since 1944 is because they suck. It's a lot of firepower on a single platform. 1 modern torpedo and everything is a coral reef. Battleships were to be on the line of the battle, the naming comes from ship of the line. But these days we don't have line battles anymore. We have long range missiles. So it's basically a slow platform with a loss of most of your firepower if it sinks. And it will sink, when 500 cheap drones will easily saturate it's defense capabilities.
They want to add a railgun. Any idea how much energy that takes? It needs to be nuclear powered, otherwise the entire shill will be defenseless for a long time after each shot, as it needs to refill it's batteries since a shot depletes the entire ship. But ok, nuclear powered you say, the US can do that. Ok, great, now you have a weapon which can fire... so fast, the curvature of the earth and gravity have too little influence on the projectile, so over the horizon targeting doesn't work, only line of sight. Again, ships these days aren't supposed to be in line of sight range when fighting, we have long range missiles. So a railgun is useless. They found out during the Zumwalt disaster.
Clearly they used AI to render this ship. Look at the helicopter platform. It will be mostly unservicable with a seastate above 3 which is most of the time. The entire deck will constantly be washed over, no helo can land or takeoff from that. Next to that not all surfaces are angled, creating a huge radar cross section. Easy target.
So this isn't a serious combat platform, this is a micropenis compensation project. Why else would it be named after the senile dictator? Hitler wanted 2 battleships too, they both sank (one without seeing battle once). Those resources would have been much better spent on much more U-boten.
Navies want bigger ships with more capabilities, but the actual need these days is small specialized escorts ships. Small, fast ships able to escorts the high value larger platforms for defense in depth all combined with a wide spread insane amount of firepower. Some ASW, some AAW, some ASuW, but not everything at once. A single loss shouldn't be decisive to the eventual battle outcome. Strength in numbers. But tell that to a crooked pedo dictator with a micropenis.
I am thinking drone submarines might be a thing eventually. Sneak up to a coastline and release them all before anyone is the wiser. Would probably make manufacturing and costs way less of a burden if there is no need for oxygen.
The issue with submersible drones is connection. Underwater only very low frequency can go through the water, reaching outside of the water. There are new technologies to improve it, but it's very limited. So drones would need to operate autonomously. It's possible, but detection and acquisition is hard, and based on known loggings in databases. And loggings do not exist for newer platforms, or if a platform received new screws for example. Semisubmersibles are a better option, they can be equipped with starlink for example. You can see their effective use already with Ukraine, fighting off the Russian black Sea fleet without a navy in their own. Fully submersibles are possible, but much more difficult to use effectively. The US already has them, but mainly for logging and registering the sound velocity (based on salinity and temp, on different depths) but not for engaging, or at least as far as we know so far.
The issue with submersible drones is connection. Underwater only very low frequency can go through the water, reaching outside of the water
Fiber optic cables solve that
This is used for launching torpedoes, they are called wire guided. Although they mostly use thin copper wire for that. But the seas are vast. It would mean you would need cables of hundreds of kilometers per drone, they will break under its own weight after a few hundred meters, if they are even able to reach that. Even if you only want to use them to defend your territorial waters, that's 12nmi (22km) from your coastline.
Another option you might think off is a cable to the surface, but it will be dragged down when the drone moves. Warships usually move between 20 and 30 kts, carriers can go even faster. You need a drone capable of catching up but with these speeds there's a significant amount of drag. The wire guided torpedoes have a copper wire spool so it doesn't pull a wire though the water, but lays the wire behind it. If you want to have a drone with a massive fiber optic cable winch inside itself, the drones will get huge.
So when using cables, drones are kinda useless as it would only work short range and we already have torpedoes which are very effective at sinking ships. Only one is needed to sink a massive ship. It explodes under the ship, creating a massive amount of pressure, then a vacume, breaking any ship in half. As you can see here.
So current submersible drones are operating autonomously and are not remotely controlled. This is the best option imo, or like I said before: semisubmersibles. But engaging targets autonomously is a tricky thing. You don't want it to accidentally hit the wrong one. But when you have an acoustic profile of your target, it's definitely possible. There are already torpedoes with these capabilities, as well as missiles targeting radar profiles or locking on stored images. But like I said before, you need to have this information about your target. So in most cases a sub needs to have logged the ship while being close to it.
Kinda funny that it's a battleship of all things. Really shows you the sort of brainless nostalgia that's running things. The end of this gerontocracy can't come soon enough.
US already doesn't have the shipbuilding capacity to lay down the hulls we've already got planned for years, but yeah go on.
Yeah I’m not an expert but I don’t think US really needs these?
Not only didn't need them. They are considered a tactical liability.
For the resources to build a battleship, they o could build a couple of cruisers. In aggregate those would be more flexible, have better survivability, and have more offensive capability
It is a stupid bloated vessel for the sake of some twisted sense of superficial extravagant while in truth being a subpar waste of a bunch of people's money. So I guess maybe it is worthy of being named Trump class.
So basically it's the opposite of what the navy need. The navy has needed a cheaper more numerous hull to complement the Burke class. Something that they have failed with the LCS program and the recently canceled Constellation.
The Trump class is so large they might have to be built into the same dockyard as carriers. I don't know if Bath iron works can accommodate ships that large. So it would have to be Newport News Shipbuilding or Ingalls Shipbuilding, both of which are already very busy.
It also means that the dockyard for smaller ships still don't have any work and some of them could eventually shutdown from bankruptcy, further reducing the number of dockyard and production facilities for the navy.
Edit: I am also going to add, since we have the design for the FF(X) ship that is going to replace the cancelled Constellation class. The FF(X) if it's built as planned is significantly worse than Constellation and will not fill the role that the navy needs. But it's probably a nice bit of money for Ingalls Industries.
That is honestly upsetting to read 😕 get it together Navy!
load more comments
(2 replies)
Traitor class
Whoever is next is going to be busy enough in their first term just taking Trumps name off things.
It will be orange and the ships systems will constantly lie to you!
USS Epstein, Trump-class battleshit
https://mas.to/@gleick/115765521840080925
It is fitting that the new gold-plated Epstein class warships are being announced at Mar-a-Lago. What a mighty Navy we shall have.
Before I read your comment, I was about to suggest renaming them Buffoon or Baboon Class.
This thing knows he is dying and knows his name will be known for so very many bad things...but it still wants to be remembered.
The orange buffoon wants to 'muddy the waters' of his shitty legacy by trying to erase his desires of raping women and kids and thinks by naming everything he can after himself people will forget what he's done.
The thing thinks that in the future the word tRUMP will be synonymous with battle ships and art centres. The obese kiddie fiddler wants to be remembered like Kennedy is remembered...but decent people and decent countries will only remember him as Epstein's rape buddy. A racist, fascist, child fucking convicted rapist.
knows his name will be known for so very many bad things
He absolutely does not.
He literally thinks he's perfect and that his shit doesn't stink. He is a narcissist.
That's why he wants his name on a fucking battleship because it's "strong" like him.
best-looking warship anywhere on the world’s oceans.
The enemy are going to be so stunned by it's beauty they won't shoot at it!
I've seen new architect kids and draftsmen make better renderings 15 years ago.
Trumpy Mc Trumpface
Bridge players all over the world now call the trump suit the "Lincoln" suit. Got any three's? Go bridge!
Just imagine how bad all the gold plating will look being constantly exposed to salt water.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Trump’s eponymous battleships will be armed with guns and missiles, as well as hypersonic weapons, electronic rail guns and high-powered lasers.
The lack of robots and sharks makes me worry he might be losing his touch entirely.
load more comments
(1 replies)
USS Bone Spurs
inb4 American Vasa.
Gustav Adolf: "All right, who's responsible? I'll have them beheaded for this!"
[Sees his own signature on the blueprints]
"Uh, um, I guess this was actually no one's fault, when you really think about it"
Yeah, that sounds like something Trump would do.
Only thing is, nobody would want to raise this wreck. It'd immediately get raided by a crack team of North Korean gold thief divers.
If it is like all other projects of this administration, it will do a Wasa on them at launch.
Finally! The troops surely are clamoring for a Dinghy that's spray painted gold!
Basic dictator.
view more: next ›