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One of my favorites, and my BF didn't get it D:
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face? Are you depressed?"
The horse replies "I don't think I am"
At which point, the horse promptly disappears.
Now, if you're at all familiar with the works of Rene Descartes, you're likely chuckling at this point, knowing his famous quote "I think, therefore I am"
But to tell you that first would have been to put Descartes before the horse.
hehehehe
That's clever.
At one of the no kings rallies, I feel something hit me in the back. Turn around to see a small girl running over to get the large Styrofoam sign that the wind had blown out of her hands.
She looks up saying "I'm sorry!".
"It's ok, I'm not a space shuttle, I can survive being hit by a foam block".
Crickets.
In 7th grade, my class was doing an exercise in which you describe yourself using a list of adjectives starting with each letter in your name. My last name ends in the letter H, so I described myself with 11 grandiose adjectives, followed by "and most of all: Humble." I didn't get a single laugh, so I just ended up sounding like a narcissist
One time, I had to have IV antibiotics for a dental infection, which meant having to be at the hospital for like a half hour every four hours, which sucked. After a couple days of this, praying to get switched to tablets, a doc finally saw me.
He walks into the room where I was waiting and the first thing he said was, "so, how about we try oral?", and I was like, "slow down, doc, I just met you." π
Swear to god, it did mot register whatsoever that I had made a joke. He responded like I had said slow down the switch to oral medication! I guess maybe he could have just been embarrassed and was trying to duck the moment, but idk. I thought it was a solid joke.
That doctor is an imbecile. That was funny.
Short version was getting a remote control vibrator for my dog but that's only because the fancy corection collars with them built in are so expensive
I make 3d models for 3d printing. Usually cute shit.
I made these little "snow baby" decorations. And I took a photo of them.
One is holding a brick that says "to ices" on it. The other is holding a Molotov cocktail.
Literally no one. Not a single one of my friends who knows I would 100% pull this, has noticed.
Not a single one.
I posted it twice just to try to get people to look at it again .
Here you are.
It's not very funny if I have to tell people, you know?
why ICES?
It's a reference to ISIS. To connect ice to ISIS.
Isis... and not the ICEs...
Edit: I know that you are the comment owner, but I really thought that was that ICE
I'm confused. It is to ice. I refer to them as ices to implicate the connection to terrorism.
This happened about 16 years ago.
One of my buddies is a semi well-known photographer who was editing some photographs on his laptop while he was over at my place. One of the pictures he was editing showed the feet/toes of one of his subjects prominently, not the focus of the shot but they were easily visible. I knew he was going to post the picture to his socials once he was done as he did that for most of his shoots for marketing purposes so I joked, βI wonder if anyone would notice if you were to add an extra toe to that persons foot.β
So he photoshopped an extra toe onto one of the subjects feet and posted it. There were many comments about the photo but no one has ever pointed out the sixth toe on the most forward foot of the subject.
Every few years I check-in on that photo to see if anyone has said anything yet about it, still nothing. I do like/thumbs up that photo each time and then wait a week to remove my like/thumbs-up as an inside joke so he gets the notification from me on that photo as a notice that I am still keeping tabs on the outcome of my suggested joke.
In response he does the same thing to a very old profile photo of myself that I hate on an old social account I no longer use but check in with every couple years.
Him and I only get to catch up every several years when our paths cross but we communicate more through that thumbs/liking joke on those two photos more often, which is kinda fun.
That's great. Love that you use the like feature to just give him a little shout out.
Btw, your figurines, and the framing/setting of the picture, are pretty rad.
So you make these as a hobby?
Are all of the models you make similar characters just in different settings/outfits/poses?
What kind of printer do you use?
Thank you. I do photography occasionally as a hobby. Tho I did use my phone. I manipulated the lighting to force the phone camera to open up the aperture, which makes the depth of field shallow. Which makes the background blurry.
It's easy to do in a dslr. But you have to trick a phone camera to do it. Via Low lighting.
Also yes I'm just a hobbyist. And there are two of these models. Sitting and standing. They are based on vintage Japanese Xmas decorations called "snow baby".
They are rare and expensive. Made in the 60s.
I wanted to make my own.
I also make other little characters/dolls and other random stuff.
I like vintage kitchy stuff.
My last big project was designing a working cat clock with tail and eyes that move. Based on kit cat clocks. But different enough they can't sue me. π
All my models are free.
But as for the snow babies. Ive made like 30 of them. I have friends, relatives, and people from online groups who want some. So I've been making a ton.
There are some on my Instagram but I have way more.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSdvPdxiBGW/
My makerworld is https://makerworld.com/@Daann_ii?appSharePlatform=copy
Also a model for the brick and Molotov on there.
Do you do 3d printing ?
I live nearish to a military base so a lot of local businesses have a military/veteran discount.
At the store I buy dog food at, the staff are so tired of asking about it that they have shortened βare you a member of the military?β to βany military?β
After I noticed it a few times that every single employee in the store shortened it that way, I started answering βthere is one, but Iβm not in it.β
Loooots of blank stares. I stopped since apparently nobody gets it or they donβt think itβs funny. I think itβs the former but idk π€·
They're retail employees. They don't think it's funny because they've likely heard it from a hundred other people.
Working in the OR. Anesthesiologist draws up some fentanyl, and I asked him if it was enriched. He looked at me like I'm a dumbass and asked "with what?"
-_-
My cousin was starting driving lessons and asked me if I know any material to know more about cars in general (I don't know how to drive neither much into cars and she knows that). I suggested to watch Cars documentary on Disney which was so successful that they created 2 sequels
Not specifically a joke, but more intended to make thought processes skip a little and to amuse:
My friend: "Didn't they teach you grammar at school?"
Me: "no, she didn't go there."
--
..and, if anyone ever tells me to check my pronunciation, I snap back quickly and say it should be pronOUNCEiation, while acting as serious as possible.
--
In around 20 years I have gotten about 30 blank stares and one giggle, once. It was completely worth it.
I made a joke about a roof, but it was over everyone's heads.
It was a rooster! Get it?! A rooster!! (uncontrollable laughter sets in).
I don't have any examples of my own, but here is my favorite over explained joke from Scott Pilgrim vs The World.
Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
Scott: What?
Todd: Because you'll be dust by Monday... because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up... dust. She dusts.
Scott: So, what's on Monday?
Todd: 'Cause... it's Friday now, she's got the weekends off, so... Monday, right?"
Oh, I've got such a good one. In high school, I was in Science Olympiad (basically a science club). I was always kind of a wishy-washy member, never really a serious or particularly reliable member. But one day, the club needed designs for a new shirt, and they decided to ask the members for some designs that the members would then vote on. I decided to submit a satire shirt.
I obviously can't share the full design for privacy reasons, but I went ahead and made it jingoistic/military themed. Fighter jets flying overhead, tanks rolling through. To make sure that people knew I was being totally serious about this clearly relevant shirt, I put a stick figure holding a science-looking flask in the corner of the shirt. And then to make sure that everyone knew that we were smart, I put the equation: "3+3=6." All text in comic sans, of course.
Anyways, no one got the joke. My design got 1 pity vote. I don't think anyone even believed me when I said that it was a joke, which out of everything was kind of the saddest part for me.