this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2025
386 points (97.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

36539 readers
3903 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 67 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

if you smoke in a hotel room they can't sell the room to someone immediately after, they gotta run an ozone generator overnight first. but just washing the sheets and whatever else doesn't require anything special.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Having to clean every single ceiling tile surely has to count as extra work

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

And separating the pages of the bible.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 weeks ago

Already handled my man. How do you think I rolled the spliffs?

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 3 points 3 weeks ago

The thought of a sticky Bible.... Vomits

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

Oh come on now, they don't really have to do that until stalactites start forming

[–] ThunderComplex@lemmy.today 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If they don’t gotta air out the room for 24 hours after you came you gotta up your game

[–] PearOfJudes@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hoooly we have a reddit immigrant over here.

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Everyone here is a Reddit immigrant whatchumean

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 63 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I mean if you jizz into the outlet you might get charged
⚡⚡⚡💦🍆👊😩

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The maid might feel differently however.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 41 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

How much does the maid charge for being jizzed on

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

They don’t. They get the police to charge you instead.

Easy mistake to make.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 weeks ago

You have to ask what they charge before you cum in them not after. Rookie mistake. I'm a veteran of cumming on maids and that's rule #1.

True fact: if you pay them enough they'll even let you shum on them.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

I asked and found out what "turn down service" means.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I wanna start a youtube channel about going to different hotels and scanning the rooms with a black light

[–] clucose@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There’s already a channel for that.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] webp@mander.xyz 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oversaturation never stopped anyone before. Maybe.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Channel name: BodyFluidHunter

Title of first video: Oversaturation

[–] bluegreenpurplepink@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What are all these stains?

Blood, urine, or semen.

Oh god, I hope it's urine.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Ah god. Channel name should be "MichaelAndDwight'sHotelAdventures"

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 3 weeks ago

And I can start a channel where I go to different hotels and um... Provide you with new content!

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 11 points 3 weeks ago

That's why you should always jizz on your ciggies first.

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Someone puked in a hotelroom and had to pay the cleaning fees (i think smoking was 50 and the puking ~100 if there were no additional costs)
I guess that smoking just has a standardised price and everything else depends

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Afaik they have special machines for smoke who need to run some time.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 7 points 3 weeks ago

They're called ozone generators. Handy machines for getting smells out of stuff but not anything you can be in the room while it runs

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Also useful for buying and flipping smokers’ used cars, if you’re also fine with doing some detailing.

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 3 weeks ago

if you smoke in a hotel room they can't sell the room to someone immediately after, they gotta run an ozone generator overnight first

[–] LwL@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Interesting that it's that low, the hotels I went to in japan were all above 10k jpy (~600€) for cleaning fee if you smoke in the room. It makes sense though with how persistent smoke smell can be.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So it's free to ejaculate on the walls? Hot damn!

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I dont think so
If its visible it gets noticed
And then its at least workers cost + coloring

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

You're telling me I can smoke on the casino floor, and the room across from me can have an ABDL party, complete with soiled nappies, but I can't hit my vape in the bathroom with the vent on? Make it make sense!

[–] oopsgodisdeadmybad@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago

Dang you hang out at some fun hotels.

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago

You don't smell it tho

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago

Don’t give them any ideas.