My group started with two guys and three girls. Now I'm one of the girls and the guy is the only one
this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2025
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My D&D group started off with one token girl. Then he transitioned. So I became the token girl.
Thank you for your service!
the ratio must be maintained!
Good good the ratio is prosperous.
I used to only have one (seemingly) female friend, and then that friend transitioned, and I started to worry what it said about me that I only had male friends. Fortunately, a year or two later most of my other friends transitioned in the other direction and balance was restored.
Some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Malcolm was right. Life found a way.
-- Dr. Alan Grant, Jurassic Park
I am happy that trans people can be who they want to be, even if there is still a long way to go. But I am thrown by how statistics, that consistently give numbers of <1% to 3% for transsexual people in the general population, don't match the number of transitioning stories I read online. I get why that is, safe space, confirmation bias and all, but it's such a major disconnect between experience and actual numbers that it constantly trips me up. From what I read online, the percentage of trans people feels like it's around 20-30%. Or, in this case, 50%.
on top of what others have said, cis people don’t really tell the stories of their non-transition, do they
no one will be like "my DnD group was all men. it’s still all men no one transitioned", even if it’s probably the most common experience lol
Aren't >95% of people online lurkers? With that in mind, is it really surprising that the amount of trans stories are many? I mean, why would someone post a story about how they're not trans.
There's another phenomenon that interacts here - there is an observed higher prevalence of LGBTQ in autism (discussed here https://sparkforautism.org/discover_article/autism-lgbtq-identity/ and various research papers). Niche forums such as Lemmy, Fediverse, even Reddit all feel like they also have a higher autism spectrum prevalence than a general population. So I would guess there's a double whammy on representation happening here - extra representation via safe space and shared interest on LGBTQ, extra representation ij autism spectrum, and an extra overlap between these two populations.
According to a survey i have recently done, with answers from people from all 7 continents, over 94% of people are trans
I tried to get answers from people who were least likely to be closeted to ensure the most accurate data
Percentages get crazy when you start talking about 8 billion people. 1% is 80 million. If 1% of that found lemmy the active user base would be almost half Trans. (I found around 1.2 million active lemmy users on some website, and 800,000 is 1% of 80,000,000)
I've noticed that a lot of nerdy stuff has been drawing a queer audience with increasing frequency, probably because for whatever reason in the last few years a lot of nerds just seem to have decided to be more queer-welcoming. So it may be mainly correlation at work here
I got into a nerd friend group before realizing I was queer though and a lot of my queer nerd friends say the same. Dunno what's up with that
I think nerdy stuff is attractive to people on the autism spectrum, and while people on the spectrum tend to like consistency, they also have trouble recognizing social norms, let alone following them. So some act that is in large part (from other people's perspective, at least) a deviation from social norms isn't that much of a problem to them. And why wouldn't trans people prefer to be in spaces where people don't care how they're living their life? Now, add on that exposure tends to normalize social experiences, and people on the spectrum are already weird in their own way, and the neurotypical people in those nerdy spaces are already used to dealing with weird people. Adding a different flavor of weird isn't that much of a stretch.
Or, to put it another way,
Yeah the sub-culture that had star trek as one of it's major contributors is surprisingly welcome to diversity. I wonder why that is? \j
I think it's simply the case of the media that nerd culture grew out of was very welcoming to diversity, setting the standard for the entire sub-culture. I mean DS9 had a same-sex kiss in the 90s, with Dax a gender-swapping alien. I doubt that's a coincidence.
Definitely part of it. I'm a huge nerd, but years ago raced motorcycles in the US. The demographic makeup difference between that and going to a local MTG event is insane. Seriously, out of hundreds of people at a race track at a time and a decade of doing this I know 2 openly gay people and 0 trans people.
Not sure you could go into my local MTG shop without seeing that many gay/trans people. It's lovely, but I think highlights the bias in what hobbies people will lean towards or how honestly they'll be about themselves depending on the social situation
I have no idea if it's true or not, but sometimes I feel as nerds we are already an out-group and therefore naturally more inclusive and welcoming to fellow nerds regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, skin color or origin.
I would broadly agree with that, with the caveat that prejudice and bigotry can still exist in nerdy spaces, just in a more insidious manner. Specifically, I have seen some communities where they superficially seem accepting, but their position as an outgroup can make people feel uncomfortable with grappling with prejudice in their communities — they look around and notice, for example, that the vast vast majority of people there are white, and then they almost begin grappling with the implications of that (that there may be reasons why people of colour do not feel fully safe or welcome in that space), but then they retreat from that discomfort of that thought and internally insist that everything is fine. They don't like thinking of themselves as being a part of the privileged in-group when their identity has formed around them being part of the outgroup, so they push it out of mind.
I don't say this in a judgemental way, more just to highlight that being genuinely inclusive requires an active, ongoing effort to keep learning and challenging our understanding of things. The complacency that gives rise to bigotry in progressive spaces is understandable, but important to work to overcome
being genuinely inclusive requires an active, ongoing effort to keep learning and challenging our understanding of things
100% agree.
The bigotry doesn’t have to be within a group for people to not want to join. They may be uncomfortable joining due to pressure from their friends and family.
People may also simply not join because they’re not interested. I personally have no interest in going to raves. The music and the drugs have no appeal to me.
Not saying there’s no bigotry in a particular group. Just that bigotry isn’t the only reason why people don’t join.
Yeah, I noticed that too. I'm not queer, but I welcome the diversity and variety. Definitely room for some sociology papers, I think.
We subconsciously find each other and vibe with each other, our friend groups are reflections of ourselves.
Sometimes it doesn't work out that way by random chance, but it's definitely too common to be a coincidence.
This is very true. My D&D group started out with 5 guys. Now it's just me and a bunch of girls
Yea my group is myself and one other guy, and then four gals.
1% is 1/100. So not on every bus, but every 2 or 3 busses.
Also tend to be poorer, like public transit. So maybe every bus.
Well, I suppose that's something to look forward to.