this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] SW42@lemmy.world 68 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your comment reminded me that at the conclusion all the donuts will be glazed

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I'd like a special dount please

it'll be right up

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You have inspired my autism.

Banana for scale?

Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donut.

Extremely standardized, as far as donuts go.


Dimensions?

Outer Diameter = ~4 inches

Inner Diameter = ~ 1 inch

Height = ~ 1.5 inches


So...

An approximately average, enthusiasticly participating man should be able to get 3 on there, with the uh, additional frosting nozzle still visible, or nearly so.

2? Below average.

1? Probably an actual, diagnosable micropeen.

4? Above average.

5? Something like 1 out of 10,000 in terms of how rare that level of above average is.

... 6? More like 1 out of 1,000,000 in rarity.


How snug is the fit?

Somewhat snug?

Average.

Very snug, moderately noticable donut tearing?

Above Average.

Not snug? Loose?

Below Average.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Great, we're halfway to publishing this thesis! Let's send your analysis to a Tier 1 research journal ASAP!

/s :)

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This will become the new ISO DickDonut measuring standard.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

Sounds good to me, lol!

Economists have used the uh, "BigMac Index" with an increasing level of seriousness, over the last decades... so why not?

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I mean, there are lots of studies on the distribution of male donut pole sizes, I'm just doing a rough comparison to the latest meta-analyses of such data.

I can provide sources...

... if you give me a donut.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why are you posting a pic of my fleshlight?

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

Is that a bitcoin?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Not really. Do you know any guy with a girth that small?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 48 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah; they're all in the White House.

[–] RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Stephen Millimeter for sure.

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Now we know how "Big Balls" got his name.

[–] PwnTra1n@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

“Any balls look big next to that thing”

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

You want the donut to be tight so it provides a cock ring effect.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 4 points 2 months ago

Glazing also coming up.

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Oh, I know this one. It’s called being glazed.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Only if you clean off the frosting with no hands.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This would also make me (m) happy.

Who loses in this situation?

No one.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (3 children)

my ego, once we realise it can barely hold a single donut

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 15 points 2 months ago
[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's fine, it just becomes a balancing task.

way too many people are gathering around my penis trying to stack donuts. at least its a fun group activity

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey I mean, that just means it takes more handiwork from the... donut stacker... to eat the same number of donuts.

You've already phrased this with 'we', so don't worry Albert, I'll happily munch whatever number of donuts from your donut pole singly, as many times as it takes for me to uh, get my fill.

=P

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

it's not the size that matters, but which donuts we get

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

...as well as the consistency and volume of their glazing...

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

you can always add an empty one at the end for me to fill with cream

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[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

agreed. It might turn into a real thing. Dunkin Donuts could sell a "stack" of say 6 donuts, but it would not be straight top to bottom, but instead curved to better accomadate an erect penis

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, a decade ago I would have laughed at the idea of this becoming real...

... but a decade ago, I also thought it was a ludicrously absurd notion that an RGB 'gamer' catheter would exist.

And they actually do now.

So fuck it, why not?

The US's only real remaning cultural attribute is 'utter depravity/shamelessness', seems like a good fit to me.

I await my Dunkin Stacking test lol, maybe they can do varying flavors and kinds of filling or jam, like a lipstick party that's edible.

[–] cabb@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is your source on the catheter maybe hard-drive.net? I found an article there which seems like it might be what you're talking about. Hard-drive.net is a satire website, similar to the Onion.

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[–] CluelessDude@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago

Idk man the best I can make it look is probably using a bag of Funyuns and even that is a stretch

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Were you the pole or the gobbler?

[–] elvith@feddit.org 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

He can put 25 donuts on his spine.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago
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[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Fruit loops for me.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Let me stuff donut bike holes in it

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

That's how you make your own donut holes.

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Some donuts are getting ripped apart.

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

it was too good of a chance to pass up

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I had to. it was too good of a chance to pass up

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