this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 99 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

>Arresting cop does not find gun and manifesto at the scene.
>Arresting cop turns off body cam.
>While body cam is off, arresting cop meets with another cop.
>Gun and manifesto miraculously found.

They're so incompetent at this and the only thing that could possibly lead to conviction is juror stupidity.

[–] XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX@hexbear.net 66 points 2 days ago (2 children)

they're betting on the stupidity of a typical member of the american populace. there's no safer bet

[–] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 41 points 2 days ago

The jury selection process will guarantee that. They have to find people who don't know who Luigi is and have no opinion on the US health insurance industry.

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago

That can sometimes backfire on the prosecution, though. OJ Simpson got acquitted.

[–] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 70 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This reeks of the most rushed job of Parallel Construction imaginable. If Luigi doesn't get off it will set a dangerous precedent that all the illegal methods they used to find him will effectively become legalized and, eventually, normalized.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 41 points 2 days ago (2 children)

they probably wanna do that so they can just ask AI "who should we arrest today"

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 17 points 2 days ago

you maybe joking but ice is already using ai facial recognition bullshit

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 12 points 2 days ago

Minority Report pre-crime

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 94 points 2 days ago (3 children)

If the criminal case against him collapses I fully expect a bipartisan movement to make a bill of attainder to execute him anyway like the english civil war

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 67 points 2 days ago

They did press federal charges against him for a reason

the man had msnbc wine moms threatening insurance executives there is no way they are doing this

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago

Will they bother amending the Constitution first or will they just ignore it?

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 86 points 2 days ago

There's no way he gets off on a hundred procedural technicalities but that would be incredible

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 80 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I hope he gets off and then immediately shoots another CEO

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 63 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The replacement for Brian Thompson lol

[–] miz@hexbear.net 42 points 2 days ago (2 children)

weird that we don't know his name huh

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] miz@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago

hoping he gets a lot more coverage someday

[–] WellTheresYourCobbler@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

To be fair I don’t think most of us knew Brian’s name either

[–] miz@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago
[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 72 points 2 days ago (2 children)

why did they need to google a reason to arrest him lmao

[–] Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 83 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Because US cops are fucking morons

[–] RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 2 days ago (4 children)

They're only good at beating up their wives and minorities.

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[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 56 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Cops aren't required to know the law, just (arbitrarily) enforce it

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago

Funny how cops don't need to know the law, but Ignorantia juris non excusat for the rest of us. Funny...

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 48 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I gotta wonder how the actual adjuster is feeling about all this. Like feeling guilty they pinned it on some random guy? Surprised they managed to get away in the first place? Hell I gotta wonder where they're even at or where they came from.

And the feds too, are they really content with this fuckfest or are they still looking for the real guy just in case? Still looking because they need to show their bosses that they're not washed and can handle things like this? At least privately?

At the least someone at the FBI has gotta be thinking "yeah everyone better buy this or my ass is going to get dragged into some long meetings with a lot of yelling". Or maybe not. Maybe the consensus is just "well if you didn't want to get shot you shouldn't have acted like a vampire, we're supposed to turn over every rock from California to Iceland for one guy? Drag my career through the mud looking like an idiot trying to catch a guy half the country thinks we already got? Not my problem". Like there's just better things to do?

You could write a whole speculative crime novel about that jesus lmao.

[–] cyriacaofthenewsun@hexbear.net 1 points 2 hours ago

🎶Who am I, can I condemn this man to slavery, pretend I do not feel his agony, this innocent who wears my face who goes to judgement in my place, must I lie🎶

[–] booty@hexbear.net 45 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What if the actual guy is like some professional hitman somebody hired for some rich asshole dispute and he didn't give one fuck about who it actually was

like guy caught a plane back to Uzbekistan or wherever the fuck the next week and never even noticed the shitshow that it became lmao

[–] cheers_queers@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 days ago

i mean its more plausible than reality..

And the feds too, are they really content with this fuckfest or are they still looking for the real guy just in case?

This is the most interesting part about it all. Like, surely the feds know this ain't the guy and just have to put on a big show to their bosses and the proles, right?

[–] Bob_Odenkirk@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Wait to do we actually not think Luigi did it?

Feel like if the state was gonna pin it on someone random they’d have picked someone less charismatic and good looking. Hate to say it but that’s a large part of Luigi’s support from the public.

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 35 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

i think they pick the first dude that was on new york of the night of the shooting and had a negative experience with the healthcare company, the biggest evidence to me is the fake manifesto, someone who hates a HC company enough to plan and kill the CEO isnt going to say he loves cops and if he wanted to share a manifesto he would have turn himself in or send it to a someone

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 30 points 2 days ago

Luigi also wasn’t insured by UHC and his insurance claims as far as I’m aware weren’t denied. He had no motive for killing the CEO whatsoever.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago

They were clearly following two different people that day. The guy at the Starbucks and who shot the CEO is one guy, and then literally just fifteen minutes later another person, who is in completely different clothing and a different face mask (who looks more like Luigi based on the eyebrows) and gets into a taxi, is the second.

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i am absolutely not convinced, between all the planted evidence and the photos released of the shooter, luigi doesn't seem to be the guy.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

100% agree. Reposting this: They were clearly following two different people that day. The guy at the Starbucks and who shot the CEO is one guy, and then literally just fifteen minutes later another person, who is in completely different clothing and a different face mask (who looks more like Luigi based on the eyebrows) and gets into a taxi, is the second.

I am not convinced at all that Luigi is the real shooter.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Here is the CCTV footage. Top two images are at 6:30am and 6:45am. Bottom two are at 7am. You could argue he could have changed clothes at some point but considering all the other things the shooter did after fleeing, like going on an electric scooter and ditching the backpack, I just don’t see how he’d also have time to do that as well all in a ~15 minute window. I also don’t see how he’d be able to fit a whole other coat and backpack within another backpack along with all the other shit Luigi supposedly had unless he’s Joel from The Last of Us.

Also a very minor thing, but the guy in the black coat doesn’t pull his face mask over his nose whereas Luigi does.

based on that it's very clearly not him the eyebrows and nose are different

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

you're overestimating the foresight of the police

[–] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like a better novel than whatever the fuck dean koontz will come up with

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[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 70 points 2 days ago
[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 53 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Fuck the rules I'm going to say it

He's a lion.

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 39 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I don't believe the 'Nakoichi doesn't like this so you're banned now' rules are being enforced any longer.

[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 38 points 2 days ago

Until they are formally revoked I am going to claim renegade badass status.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

i never saw apologies for any punishments meted out for that if that's the case but I guess that's to be expected

I remember certain people were banned for literally saying, and nothing more, "maybe we should wait until he says anything post incarceration to confirm his prior shithead beliefs before casting him aside when he's the most popular figure in america r/n" (paraphrasing)

[–] booty@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago

He can't fool us. We see the big fuckin cat under there.

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[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 43 points 2 days ago

lol not a chance this guy is getting convicted. I don’t even think he’s the real shooter and at this point that’s the last thing that’s going to get him off.

the way this arrest was botched so HORRENDOUSLY is a fuckin master-class in how to fuck up a trial. i love it.

Free Luigi. that's clearly not the guy

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