this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] arsCynic@piefed.social 124 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh come on, this has to be satire.

If tech bros really have become this robotic, then, as Robin William's Good Morning Vietnam script read:

“You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.”

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 82 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lol yes, another post of his from 2 years ago

[–] arsCynic@piefed.social 24 points 1 month ago

Thank goodness.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 98 points 1 month ago (2 children)

with the same razor

"we're blood brothers here. We share bloodborn diseases between each other this way. Hepatitis A is for Alphas." /s

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

we share herpes with each other, is what he saying.

[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, at least they figured out a solution to the whole "crabs" problem they had going on, clearly

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

it will be interesting how he got crabs on his head.

[–] gustofwind@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Help a tight ass

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 46 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

if you think this is crazy, you've never heard of Occam's Razor

I know what Occam's Razor is, but considering the context here does this dude think it's just a good brand for head shaving? 🤨

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I want to believe he's being funny, but it's so hard

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

100% satire, and it’s pretty funny

[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

He totally got me!

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 month ago (3 children)

...Wait, does he think Occam's Razor is an actual razor?

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

That's the line that cements this as satire to me, because by applying Occam's razor here I think the simplest solution is that it's a joke.

[–] sdfric88@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 1 month ago

Yeah dude weren't you paying attention? This is their shared razor. They call it Occam's razor because Bill Occam bought it at the pharmacy on his way to the office last Tuesday.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Weirdly I always see Occam going into the bathroom with a full head of hair, and leave with just as much...

[–] gustofwind@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Please be satire please be satire please be satire

[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 7 points 1 month ago

🤣

I hate to think how much time this guy is losing by sleeping every night, there's at least a couple hours in employee leverage he's losing

[–] kiterios@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

As of 1 month ago, his employees are not shaved... so unless he's had a complete mental breakdown since then, probably satire.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/alexander-cohen_this-photo-is-from-our-team-on-site-last-activity-7401997503660830721-51_e

[–] SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

There's no way this is real, right?

No WAY.

Right?

[–] AngularViscosity@piefed.social 27 points 1 month ago

It's clearly satire, folks...

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

This is clearly satire... I hope...

[–] Arigion@feddit.org 16 points 1 month ago

What a looser! If they would shave each others head during a meeting this would be much more productive. But the big question is: who hired all the hairy people in the first place?

[–] stray@pawb.social 12 points 1 month ago

So does he just not shower anymore because he's bald?

[–] grue@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Haha, what a stupid loser, wasting time shaving his head when he could just be letting his hair grow long and not wash it.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Hey, look on the bright siade, at least this guy is still showering

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why are these guys wearing clothes? It gets in the way of bodly functions. Have to spend 2 seconds to unzip your pants? Time wasted.

Everyone nude in the office from now on...

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

And you can blow each other without interrupting work.

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Satire or not, math isn't their strong game...

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We're just ignoring the concept of "joking" now yeah?

[–] testfactor@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Yeah, this one clearly reads as satire. The fact that people think it's not is wild to me.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

And this is how we all got AIDS.

[–] root@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I wonder if he min/maxes in the bedroom too

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm with 'em, but for "my boss makes a dollar, I make a dime" reasons.

If I can get away with doing something on the clock instead of at home, I will.

I don't want to make it

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Get fucked, you little piece of tech demo shit

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How does someone so socially clueless navigate the real world? Must be challenging, I salute you!

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world -1 points 1 month ago

😆 thanks, dumbass

[–] enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

he got nice cat ear

[–] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Guarantee this guy isn't shaving his head for "efficiency", he's just severely balding and wants to pretend that he's not.

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

As opposed.to shaving your head at home, which means not wasting time doing it at the office? This has to be satire.

[–] cubism_pitta@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

In the kitchen sink too 🤮

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

What the hell is wrong with these so-called founders? Shave your pubic hair at home, the world is not going to collapse if you have some free time for yourself.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Have we considered the efficiency dividends of like, not shaving heads?

Or is it more of a conformity thing, like in fight club?

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

They say it saves time compared to washing your hair, right? Oh, you mean like not shaving and not washing. Probably shouldn't even shower either to save even more time. That's brilliant. brb gonna fire up LinkedIn and make a post.