500
T-Rex problems (i.imgur.com)
submitted 1 year ago by NotSpez@lemm.ee to c/4chan@lemmy.world
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[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 196 points 1 year ago

So you're telling me I get free accommodation, free food, and it's protected by a T-rex?

[-] NotSpez@lemm.ee 90 points 1 year ago

Landlords hate this simple trick!

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[-] Dirk@lemmy.ml 161 points 1 year ago

I just sit in the hut and enjoy my food while the dinosaur is starving outside.

Sounds okay to me.

[-] unoriginalsin@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Humana last weeks without food, you think you're going to starvea 7 ton, cold blooded carrion eater to death in a mere month?

[-] Khrux@ttrpg.network 46 points 1 year ago

7 ton seems pretty big and I think they were warm-blooded, I recon they'll start starving before I run out of food. They may not be dead by day 30 but on those final nights of starving unconciousness you could probably stick it with the knife. Large birds of prey may only eat once per day but they still starve within a couple of days, and the bigger they are, the hungrier they get.

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[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 86 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Will the T-Rex be provided food? Because I could just wait it out. But if it's provided food I'd just make sure it swallows the hunting knife with its meal and in theory it should cause some gastrointestinal leakage...

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 76 points 1 year ago

It probably sucks down sharp bones no problem. But then, nobody really has any idea. It could play the ukulele for all we know.

[-] Deceptichum@kbin.social 54 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If it can play the ukulele, it’s already won.

After 15 minutes of hearing its tiny arms try to play a song I’d ask to be eaten.

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 year ago

You think Vogons might be descendants of dinosaurs? I heard their poetry is to die for.

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[-] Tattorack@lemmy.world 76 points 1 year ago

I get a roof over my head and food... For free!?

The T-rex will probably die eventually from starvation... Which means I could lose my roof and free food. Biggest challenge will be trying to keep the T-rex alive...

[-] JTskulk@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

It's very telling that some people have had worse roommates than a T. Rex lol

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[-] soulless@lemmy.ml 67 points 1 year ago

Rub the blade into fecal matter, wait till she nods off and then stab deeply before quickly returning to the hut. Repeat a few times.

Now just wait for the sepsis to kick in and collect the prize.

[-] Lawyerator@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 year ago

Additionally, poop in it's food (if it has any). E. Coli poisoning may help.

[-] janAkali@lemmy.one 36 points 1 year ago

That's a human weakness, most animals eat poop for breakfast

[-] hydrospanner@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

Some humans, too!

Like golf legend Shooter McGavin!

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[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 51 points 1 year ago

If the hut is indestructible I'll just wait for it to starve lol

[-] calypsopub@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago

Won't it starve in a month?

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[-] SirEDCaLot@lemmy.today 43 points 1 year ago

This is easy.

As long as I'm getting food and the T-Rex isn't, just sit in the hut and wait.
T-Rex will pass out of hunger and thirst. Once it stops moving I wait a day or two then finish the job with the knife.

[-] octoperson@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'll defer to actual paleontologists (or anyone who drops links), but my guess is T-Rex could go a month without food easy. Most modern large reptiles typically go a long time between meals.


Edit: following the intense scholarship in this thread, I have changed my stance. T-Rex probably would not survive a month without food (or water). BUT ALSO, the entity setting the rules and betting 500 mil on it surviving is going to know that. So the Dino's getting fed either way.

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[-] MaryReadsBooks@lemmy.ml 39 points 1 year ago

Finally a way to get an affordable place to live in!

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[-] mrbaby@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago

Grab its dick and twist it!!

[-] Killing_Spark@feddit.de 35 points 1 year ago

I know it's green text but come on. Even T-Rex sleep. Wait for that, poke its eyes out, cut its tendons and then just go death by a thousand cuts on that big lizard.

[-] Kolrami@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Also, most apex predators are heavy sleepers because they have absolutely nothing to be scared of when they're asleep. As an example, male lions sleep for 18-20 hours a day.

[-] quatschkopf34@feddit.de 27 points 1 year ago

Well, it sure as fuck will wake up if you stab its eye out. If I had to bet I still would pick the one-eyed angry T-Rex.

[-] Kolrami@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Recent studies have shown their top speed is about the same as humans. You could:

  1. wait for him to sleep
  2. poke an eye out
  3. run to safety
  4. Repeat steps 1 2 3
  5. Finish him after you take advantage of the rest of the month of free food and accomodations.
[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 27 points 1 year ago

I love how you have a plan that gets you $500 million, but you just have to have to take advantage of that free rent in a shack before time runs out.

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[-] Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 year ago

I imagine you’d walk up to an eyelid that’s thicker than your arm, luckily still wedge the knife between the eye, get absolutely deafened as it screams out in pain, and either trampled or catapulted as it flails about, or just plain nommed on as it sees you with the remaining good eye.

How exactly did you plan on getting over to the other eye before getting crunched, anyways? They’re not exactly tiny heads.

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[-] Dirk@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago

We don't know if they ever slept. We don't even know if they had fur or not.

[-] Killing_Spark@feddit.de 23 points 1 year ago

I just had to stop me from going down a whole rabbit hole about sleeping sharks. So I'm just going to make this point:

Chickens and crocodiles sleep, and they are basically dinosaurs so: Checkmate.

Seriously though, sharks are pretty interesting creatures! https://animalhype.com/fish/do-sharks-sleep/

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[-] MimicJar@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

I would take 1 week and observe the T-Rex from inside the hut. Make small, but safe, movements.

After determining that I will be unable to kill the T-Rex I will inform the person running the game that I can not kill the T-Rex and would like to forfeit.

The person running the game would protest, but eventually realize I am not going on provide any further entertainment.

They'd bring in the professionals to corral the T-Rex and contain him.

Those professionals? A secret team I've hired. My forfeit? I had my fingers crossed.

With the T-Rex contained and drugged, I stab the T-Rex.

The team and I split the winnings. Credits roll.

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[-] stingpie@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

People keep answering this in the most boring way. Here's a slightly less boring answer:

Wait for nightfall

Sneak up to the dino

Stab it in the eye

Run into hut

The T-Rex won't be able to remove the knife, so it will become infected and eventually kill it.

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[-] rarkgrames@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Run around the paddock whilst it chases you and wait for it to keel over.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 year ago

Ah, ye old homo sapien hunter trick

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[-] Zink@pawb.social 30 points 1 year ago

Reminder that if you die, you just die.

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[-] PatFussy@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago

I would wait for it to fall asleep and then make a big anti T-rex circle around it so it cant escape.

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[-] ransomwarelettuce@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I don't think he would last long with our current oxygen levels, there is a reason why such giant creatures don't exist anymore.

On top of that like comments said if we just waited out he would starve to dead, even if we were not provided food.

*Edit

Well looks like I was wrong, thx for clarifying that out.

Really though the reason for big animals not being as prevelant anymore was really the oxygen levels Idk where I got that from.

But then it is really weird how the evolution meta didn't evolve back to the huge beasts we see on books, someone said in the comments that it was due to the mammals success, if so it puts things really into perspective.

[-] IMongoose@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

The largest animal we have known to ever live is alive right now, the blue whale.

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[-] Venat0r@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

No way I can afford to pay 500 million to hunt a t rex. That seems like a fair price though given the trouble of bringing back an extinct animal, some billionaire would probably do it.

[-] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

Well there you go, the food is the answer. Lots of things humans eat are toxic to animals so all you got to do is order like a bunch of coffee, chocolate, avacados, onions, garlic, maybe some potatoes you leave in the sun awhile... Get some turkey or other meat and stuff it with all the potentially toxic treats and hope something sticks.

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[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 year ago

A month off work where my food and housing is paid for and I get to see a T-Rex? Hell yeah, I probably won't kill it but I'm in

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[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

I would memorize its attack patterns and stab its legs between attacks, dodging every time it rears back for another stomp. Eventually, with enough stabs, I'd kill it.

[-] Numenor@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Usually you can target a glowing area that only becomes visible when it roars

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[-] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Depends. How long can a T-rex survive without food? If the answer is less than a month, I will absolutely do this.

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[-] angrystego@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Of course I wouldn't do it. Why should I kill such a magnificent animal. I'd tame it and ride it.

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[-] kalkulat@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

That's a LOT of money. Can I use a stick to tie the 10-inch knife to? Then encourage him to hang around the INDESTRUCTIBLE hut while he dies of a thousand wounds?

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[-] MTK@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Poop on the knife, stand right outside the hut and wait for him to get close, throw the knife at him and grt inside, if it doesn't land just start over once he walks away.

All I need is one poopy stab and the infection would kill him.

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[-] Lightsong@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Douse yerself in barrel of lube, dive through T-Rex's asshole when the Dino is asleep. Cut your way around there, win.

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[-] kttnpunk@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Easy, kill it with the indestructible shack. I'll just make it real mad and let everything else work itself out.

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this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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