this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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I was going to illustrate the whole poem by Edgar Allan Poe, but since I wasn't able to do it, have the one drawing, and the poem itself. Keep in mind it is horror literature and has themes of grief and a haunting encounter with a raven.

The Raven CW: Grief, Horror

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “ ’Tis some visiter,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door — Only this, and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had tried to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore — Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating “ ’Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door — Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; — This it is, and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, “Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you” — here I opened wide the door; — Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!” This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” Merely this, and nothing more.

Then into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before. “Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore — Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;— ’Tis the wind, and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door — Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door — Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, “Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore — Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no sublunary being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door — Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing farther then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered — Till I scarcely more than muttered, “Other friends have flown before — On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Wondering at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, “Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster — so, when Hope he would adjure, Stern Despair returned, instead of the sweet Hope he dared adjure — That sad answer, “Nevermore!”

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust, and door; Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore — What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o’er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er, She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. “Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee Respite — respite and Nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Let me quaff this kind Nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! — Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted — On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore — Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore — Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore — Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting — “Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted — nevermore!


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(page 4) 50 comments
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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 15 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Reading a book is so fun everyone should do it, hst-gun get to your local library and apply for a library card if you haven't already

[–] Disaster_of_Passion@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I just had an aggressive flashback to a musical episode of the kid's show Arthur, where the main song goes "HAVING FUN // ISN'T HARD // WHEN YOU'VE GOT A LIBRARY CARD"

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

arthur-punch the memes big enough that it's printed at the counter at my library

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Jekyll Jekyll Hyde!
Jekyll Hyde Hyde Jekyll!
Jekyll Jekyll Hyde Jekyll Hyyyyyde!!

[–] meler@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is on the very top of my list of things to do once I have an actual residence and can prove that I live in the area

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] meler@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

For now I'm a zlibrary enjoyer

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm an Anna's archive appreciater myself

[–] meler@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

omg I didn't know about this site. thanks for pointing it out to me

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 2 points 3 days ago

Np I used to go on library then I couldn't no more so this one has done me well

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[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago (8 children)

I've been trying to train my voice solo forever without really succeeding but 1 month with a speech therapist and I'm already reading text with a fantastically femme voice.

Still in awe of people that have done this alone. I understood concepts individually but I really needed guidance to bring it together.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

Whenever the dysphoria isn't so bad I should really see a speech therapist...

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

Same, I made decent progress in my own for the last few years but I had a lot more with my vocal coach

[–] Alisu@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

I kinda want this but I don't have money in the moment...

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

cw for dysphoria and transphobia but it's not detailsNo shit I'm a bad person puberty traumatized me and I've been in massive amounts of pain ever since and probably will be forever and society hates me and did this to me and continues to do this to others. Why the fuck wouldn't I be? Why should I not have a negative view of all these fuckers?

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

spoilerYea tbh especially lately I've been feeling like society's evilness has just broken my brain

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I do a lot of Tarot now. What is really terrible is AI interpretation is so pervasive, and accepted. I have found it much more persuasive to simply say "I think getting a machine without a soul/divine spark/[insert person specific belief] would impart such dark energy/bad omens/[insert person specific fear] that it would cloud the reading and possibly taint any ones to come, but that's just my [a kooky and mystical presenting trans woman] opinion"

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

AI art is also really common which I would use similar excuses about the decks being bad luck or cursed.

If a person believes that there are real souls stuck in a void and AI allows you to talk to them, I imagine these arguments won't work.

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

CW transphobic language around orchiectomyMe using the word castration: Cool, sexy, dangerous, mystical

Cis people using the word castration: cringe, gross, reactionary, ill-informed

"Did you know that medication might chemically castrate you?"

"Here's hoping otherwise I might have to finish the job myself" (while miming snipping)

[–] meler@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

My boss stood up for me and it was nice. I don't get others defending me very often

[–] meler@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I feel pretty but I wish I was called it more often. People say I "look nice" sometimes but that doesn't feel the same. I've only been called pretty or even cute a handful of times

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

I know I look good but no one says it to me, they all assume I get told it all the time so they don't bother solidarity you're pretty Meler

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

Talking with a nurse I ask if she has a pattern on her nails but nah it's just flaking, I was like same showed my at least 2 week old paint. Mine where fine but you get car stuff on like grease/coolant/oil on them it just peels stuff away

[–] SickSemper@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

Turns out today is not e day (fertility preservation just in case) but I saw the hormone doc, gave them my story and I’m scheduled to get them next month! Alhamdulillah, on one hand, I’m telling myself I’m not in a rush and I’m very glad to have gotten over this first step, but on the other, setting that date does make me want to teleport forward a few weeks. Still debating about shots, I might have to just go in the deep end because I don’t want to fuck my liver up. Another step done! Still don’t like hospitals but exposure therapy

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 18 points 5 days ago (5 children)

me shopping around for a new interactive novel or a fanfic:

[–] Lord_ofThe_FLIES@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago (3 children)

did you see the toxic yuri bundle on itch?

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Started using my VR headset for like the first time since I started HRT and released I was caught by surprised when I looked down because my boobs were missing.

this is incredibly minor and probably kinda whiny, but...

whenever a guy friend of mine sends me a pic there's invariably a pile of laundry in the corner. totally understand having laundry lying around, but c'mon it takes like 3 seconds to crop that out. yes the dog is adorable and yes the food looks tasty, but the pile of dirty boxers in the corner that takes up more space in the pic than the actual subject does kinda detract from it

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

therapy

So I've been wondering recently. What the hell do I do from this point on since I won't have therapy anymore? I was looking forward to it doing ... something. Not sure what. But I don't have that anymore. It doesn't feel like I have any avenue of making "progress" anymore.

My transition is stalled cause I can't even go to the women's section in a clothing store without getting embarrassed and leaving. I haven't come out to anyone in a while. I haven't changed my clothing or style. Ain't been doing voice training. Ain't been making any friends. It's a general sort of stagnation of my life.

Do I need to start putting tasks for myself on the megathread for accountability from people? I feel like accountability is the only thing that really whips me into action.

I wish a tall strong girl could whip me into action catgirl-sorry

[–] Bolshechick@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago

Do I need to start putting tasks for myself on the megathread for accountability from people? I feel like accountability is the only thing that really whips me into action.

Tbh that sounds like a pretty good idea

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

dysphoria?

Everytime I think of someone looking at me or my body I feel so anxious. I feel super uncomfortable even going out in a shirt. I need a jacket, or hoodie or even a safari vest.

When I was boymodding, I tended to not give a singular fuck about my appearance. I wouldn't mind going outside in shorts, flip flops and a t-shirt (middle of winter while it is snowing). Now I need more coverage during the summer.

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

spoiler

I know I previously stated that I wouldn't tell my parents until I was financially independent. But fuck. I feel tempted to just go for it. Either they accept me and or they throw me away and I die homeless. Either way, it'd be over.

[–] Alisu@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago

I feel exactly the same way and unsure what to do

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago

She's too sick to hang out. Very disappointed. I'll get to see her and her whole family later this week but that's obviously a different, more closed vibe. What are you going to do I guess. Just sad.

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

My new bit is I'm just gonna be responding to myself since I'm dialecticaldoggirl-smart

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago

waow-based fae is so smart and beautiful for this

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] meler@hexbear.net 18 points 5 days ago (5 children)

wow who knew estrogen would give me boobs

[–] RION@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago
[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago

girl takes pills that turn her green and it surprised that she turned green /ref

[–] meler@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I checked on my babies for the first time in a while and turns out they're bigger!!!!

[–] meler@hexbear.net 18 points 5 days ago

Actually the full story is I turned really fast and felt them moveeeeeeeeeeee

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago (5 children)

negativity and dysphoriagod I wish I was a cis woman. An average cis body. Cis voice. Cis socialization.

Transition is too hard. I hate it and can't do it.

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