this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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I was going to illustrate the whole poem by Edgar Allan Poe, but since I wasn't able to do it, have the one drawing, and the poem itself. Keep in mind it is horror literature and has themes of grief and a haunting encounter with a raven.

The Raven CW: Grief, Horror

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “ ’Tis some visiter,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door — Only this, and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had tried to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore — Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating “ ’Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door — Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; — This it is, and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, “Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you” — here I opened wide the door; — Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!” This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” Merely this, and nothing more.

Then into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before. “Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore — Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;— ’Tis the wind, and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door — Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door — Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, “Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore — Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no sublunary being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door — Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing farther then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered — Till I scarcely more than muttered, “Other friends have flown before — On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Wondering at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, “Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster — so, when Hope he would adjure, Stern Despair returned, instead of the sweet Hope he dared adjure — That sad answer, “Nevermore!”

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust, and door; Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore — What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o’er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er, She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. “Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee Respite — respite and Nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Let me quaff this kind Nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! — Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted — On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore — Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore — Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore — Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting — “Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!” Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted — nevermore!


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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

might delete my lemmy accounts soon,,,,,,

they no longer bring joy

if not outright delete then shelf them

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

200+ pages read today, I'm such a smarty pants doggirl-smart

[–] meler@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago

I hate when I'm told I'm not being realistic when I point out xyz thing about the world that's bullshit.

"That's just how the world works."

Uh, yeah you fuck that's the problem. Why can't people just say yeah it sucks? Is it so wrong for me to want things to be different?

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm one chapter away from finishing the book I'm on so time to put the phone down and raise my book one more time, who's with me catgirl-happy

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My books are on my phone 0_0

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I loved the war nerds Illiad, it does make me wanna read a version of the Odyssey or Beowulf in that style

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Not going to get to see my cousin at all this trip :/ what I was most excited for of this whole thing.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm so sad and disappointed. I tried literally everything to make it work.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

Just wish we'd go back home already ffs I don't want to do any of the other shit on our itinerary. I literally just wanted to finally see another trans person irl, have someone who might understand, have a fun day together, but no.

I'm trying to not just post negativity but nothing good ever happens so that makes it harder

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Last post of the day?

depression

I made a wish to the monkey's paw to live longer. It granted me my wish. The twist? I'd have to spend those years living as myself angery

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

depression and suicidal ideationI never actually wanted or expected to live longer, it just kinda happened. Now that the feelings have passed I feel like I'm trying to pick up the pieces and scrape together a life I didn't have before. Even now, feeling down and crashing out a bit, it's nothing like it was before.

[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

::: spoiler same cw This is so real. I didn't think id make it past 18, then i did, and didnt think id make it to 21, then i did. Eventually i realized i was trans at like 23, and thought oh ill live i guess? I made it this far and maybe life will be better now? And it is. But now im confronting the idea that theres an at least somewhat decent chance i dont make it past 50. But now its because of the world and not because im depressed and want to die. But when its bad/intense i still have that thought deep down that i was supposed to die at 16 (first attempt) and that im on borrowed time, that im not supposed to be here, and i feel guilty for existing.

And coming out of all that, like, what do you even do with your life? I still dont have goals or know how to have goals, all the time i was supposed to be learning how to have goals i was deeply depressed and the goals meant nothing. They were something to do, not neccessarily something i wanted to achieve. I just float thru the world, except now its because im unsure how to even live a life, not because im trying to actively escape it.

spoilerIt does feel like a universal lgbt experience, maybe near universal. I also assumed I would die, usually in a car crash, before 30. I got to 30, this is all way past what I always expected. Its a little weird to have more life than you thought was ever your due

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I feel this, too. For a long time, I had an utter disdain for ambition. Right now, I guess my ambition is just to get my shit together.

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I find it immensely funny that getting my arch linux to connect to the Wifi was a massive pain in the ass taking 10+ hours to debug, while getting it to login into a remote server via vpn was 3 minutes, 2 of which were spent on googling.

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah I gave it an honest try with putting Linux mint on my puter but fuck me I couldn't figure out how to fully install or connect it without the Ethernet cable. This shit is for nerds

[–] shallot@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 2 points 23 hours ago (6 children)

How does anything work, I was told Linux was gonna be easy 😭

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[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Me (sobbing in bed): can't do this anymore, let's just go to sleep

Mr (checks time): it's 17:45 catgirl-huh

*if you're wondering why I am in bed at this time, it's cause my calender app lied to me and I missed my classes

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I have to stay awake and conscious for a few more hours and I find that to be dreadful.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

I know that feeling :cuddle:

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I just checked the wiki. LOTM (the first series) has 54 books covering 1394 chapters. Aka, 25.81 chapters per book.

I've also read 714 chapters of RI. Assuming the chapters are the same length (both webnovels are by the same company under a contract, so it isnt strange to assume that they), that would be 27.65 books, which we can round down to 27.

According to my reading app's statistics, I downloaded the thing 110 days ago.

This comes to me having read an absolutely unholy 0.74 books per day on average.

And I should point out that I didn't even use the app for the first month or so after I downloaded it. Indeed, I checked the Internet metrics. I didn't even download any chapters to read before September 1rst. That was 74 days ago.

This brings up my average rate to 1.09 books per day catgirl-huh

A book a day keeps the doctors at bay

[–] meler@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

Haven't you heard the ancient Klingon proverb "up with trans"?

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It feels like my boobs grew 20% larger in the last few weeks. I'm gonna have huge tits and still no one at work will say anything lmao

[–] grym@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

Saaame. I don't understand how nobody has said anything. Despite my baggy clothes and all its kinda hard not to notice something now lmao.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

cissies are fucking clueless tbhtbh

[–] Bolshechick@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Dysphoria?So, occasionally I still hate how I look and can't stand it. But, a lot of the time it's more like I'm a little cute on a good day and not hideous on a bad day.

People tell me I'm beautiful all the time though. Are they just being nice? Or do I have like dysmorphia (as well as a little dysphoria still)? Like it's not just my partners and my friends, strangers (never ever cis men though, thankfully) compliment my appearance most times I go somewhere public. I figure like they see this obviously trans person and it makes them feel good about themselves to say nice things to me, like a charity or something. Idk, does that happen to other people?? Am I pretty??? And if I am, why can't I feel like I am :(

[–] bipp@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Dysphoria/dysmorphiaI feel this way too! I think it's a little of both tbh. Dysphoria and dysmorphia are horrible and it can be really difficult to see yourself through any other lens. I'm constantly worried that when people compliment me, it's in a "be nice to the tr***y" kind of way but it still happens and with total strangers too like you said and I do have lots of days where I don't hate how I look. If I had to guess, I would say that you're just a beautiful girl but it's difficult for you to personally see that because of the aforementioned dysphoria/dysmorphia. I hope that one day you can fully see that in yourself, but I wouldn't really know how that manifests because I'm stuck in the same position :/ cat-trans

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago (9 children)

Reading a book is so fun everyone should do it, hst-gun get to your local library and apply for a library card if you haven't already

[–] Nasalstrip@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I wish more people read, I’m so grateful my parents encouraged my reading when I was young cuz it’s one of my favorite things to do. It’s like a movie that lasts for weeks, at least for me. It’s like going to another world once you get into it. Reading dune rn and it was confusing at first but now I love it.

It’s also my favorite way to learn. I’m thinking of buying a Zoology book just to learn more before I choose my major, I want to go into zoology but a lot of people with degrees in that field advise against it

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

Also wish you luck on your studies, I hope you can make time to keep reading for pleasure.

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

It really do be like a movie, I get so immersed in it and it's like I forget myself and my insecurities for a while. I do like talking to people afterwards all "can you believe this..." For me I had a reading streak when I was younger then dropped off and even believed the "I just can't read I can't concentrate and don't have the time" I did have to put it to the side for a bit but now I'm back.

Also reading in public helps my anxiety like a lot, reading in the park or at the library are my ideal spots now.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I do this but I keep stepping on a rake I consciously put in front of myself labeled "YA fiction"

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

Honestly based still, most of the theory I been reading these past while has had narratives and central figures that feel more like dramas at times. It's how I stayed engaged and how I go from smh to catgirl-cry when something happens to one of the people being written about

[–] Disaster_of_Passion@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I just had an aggressive flashback to a musical episode of the kid's show Arthur, where the main song goes "HAVING FUN // ISN'T HARD // WHEN YOU'VE GOT A LIBRARY CARD"

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[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I've been trying to train my voice solo forever without really succeeding but 1 month with a speech therapist and I'm already reading text with a fantastically femme voice.

Still in awe of people that have done this alone. I understood concepts individually but I really needed guidance to bring it together.

[–] SickSemper@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Any uhhh tips for those who aren’t speaking with a coach?

[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

This is part of my warm-up routine and a practical starting point for building the foundation for a feminine voice. I can try to clarify if anything is confusing.

Breathing

First we practice diaphragmatic breathing for cleaner and more confident voice. I'm sure there's plenty of videos to walk you through if you need, but basically:

  • Place your right hand on your chest and your left hand under the bottom of the rib cage.
  • Inhale for 4-5 seconds using your diaphragm (where your left hand is). While inhaling, your chest and shoulders should have as little movement as you can manage. If you're having trouble, it might help to think of it as breathing with your "belly" or like you're inflating a balloon where your left hand is resting.
  • Hold the breath for a few seconds, then exhale. As you do, your left hand should be falling, your right hand should be relatively still on your chest.

Once you are comfortable with diaphragmatic breathing, you're ready for the first step of the routine, 4-7-8 breathing. Again, there's probably tons of videos on this but it's quite simple, just:

  • Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
  • Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
  • Exhale for 8 seconds.

Resonance

This is probably the most important quality for a feminine voice, even more than pitch. This exercise is meant to help you find the correct place to speak from to create brightness in your voice. ALL exercises onward should begin with diaphragmatic breathing.

  • Say "mmmmmmm" in a natural tone. Your goal is to feel vibration in the front area of your mouth. You should feel vibration in your nose and the areas to the sides of your nose. Some people can also feel it in your roof of mouth, teeth, etc.
  • Once you feel comfortable with your "mmmm"s, start pairing them with vowels. So breathe -> mmmmmaaay, breathe -> mmmmee, again for mmmmyyy, mmmmmoohh, mmmmmoo
  • We're using the natural resonance that the mmmmm creates as a target area to speak all our words from.

Once you're comfortable go on to Pitch.

Pitch

  • In the highest pitch that is comfortable and non-straining, make an affirmative mmhmm, like the noise you'd hum while agreeing with someone.
  • Do it again, repeating mmhmm three times. So breath then mmhmm mmhmm mmhmm. The pitch should be consistent between the mmhmms.
  • Once you feel like you got that down, incorporate the resonance section. Breath then mmhmm mmhmm mmhmmmmaaay, mmhmm mmhmm mmhmmmmeeee, etc.

This is my second step in my daily routine, and it's probably the most important step. Also once you get this down, you can "reset" your voice at any time by using your hopefully well-practiced "mmhmm" to bring you back to correct resonance and practice pitch.

Warm-up Routine

  • 4-7-8 breathing for 1-3 minutes
  • Mmhmm into vowels (mmhmm mmhmm mmhmmmmmaaay, mmhmm mmhmm mmhmmmmmeee, etc)
  • Say drawn-out knoll (knnooooooollllll on exhale)
  • Say eeeeeeeeeeee

Do this every morning and whenever you're about to do a practice session. Try maintaining your resonance and pitch while you practice your voice by reading aloud, talking with people, acting out movie scenes or scripts, reading dialogue on games without voice acting, whatever. Reset as often as needed, especially when first getting started. It helps to record yourself so you can catch problem areas to work on. Be kind to yourself.

There's more to a voice that can be practiced but these are the basics to work on first and I don't wanna overload you with too much info at once.

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[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Sure I'll write something up a little later when I have more time

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Same, I made decent progress in my own for the last few years but I had a lot more with my vocal coach

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

Whenever the dysphoria isn't so bad I should really see a speech therapist...

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

cw for dysphoria and transphobia but it's not detailsNo shit I'm a bad person puberty traumatized me and I've been in massive amounts of pain ever since and probably will be forever and society hates me and did this to me and continues to do this to others. Why the fuck wouldn't I be? Why should I not have a negative view of all these fuckers?

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago

spoilerYea tbh especially lately I've been feeling like society's evilness has just broken my brain

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