this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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memes

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 133 points 5 months ago (6 children)

A sandwich is already cut horizontally dumb ass.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Enters person putting uncrustables in a slap chop. One slap, and your ready for the next sandwich. (I don't actually do this, but it does sound like it'd fit)

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 12 points 5 months ago (5 children)
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[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Only in one dimension. It needs to be cut in all 3.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 12 points 5 months ago (5 children)

There aren't three dimensions in the horizontal dimension.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 19 points 5 months ago (7 children)

I cut mine in the 4th dimension

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Its an open-faced timelike curve.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago (8 children)
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[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Your sandwich is all wibbly wobbly.

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[–] Schal330@lemmy.world 63 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I don't see what the problem is.

Sandwich cut horizontally

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 36 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Is that a giant penis in the background?

Edit - shit I thought I was replying to the main post...

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 21 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Are you perchance suffering from peniledolia?

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

I certainly hope so

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[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Are u a top or bottom sandwich? 😳

(凸 and 凹 mean top and bottom in Chinese/Japanese)

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[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 44 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Who lays down to cut a sandwich? How does that even work?

[–] naught101@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Nonono, they mean cutting with the broad side of the knife

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 35 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I always enjoy it when I post a silly joke and the first two people misunderstand it, and then the rest of humanity sees a negative number, so they don't even give it the benefit of the doubt anymore and just toss their -1 into there for good measure.

Like, it's sad that the post went to waste, but I don't care how far into the negative it is. At that point, a large negative number just amuses me.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, I am anti-/s. I feel like using /s is explaining the joke. If people can read the tone great, but I definitely have some negative scores here and there, and it is what it is, I won't abandon my principles.

[–] starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I think it's fair if it's really not obvious at all but yeah kinda ruins the joke a lot of the time

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[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is online discourse. You're supposed to be a voice for the hive-mind narrative. We will cleanse the forum from your pollution and discord and make it join our harmony. I am a voice in their choir.

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 24 points 5 months ago

Your boos mean nothing! I've seen what makes you cheer!

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 24 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Pineapple on pizza is excellent as long as the sauce is lighter on garlic and there’s a fresh basil leaf under it.

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why would you put pizza on top of a basil leaf?

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I was not expecting to get into pineapple pizza so much as an adult. First of all, there aren't many pizzas I'd turn down anyway. But pineapple is fucking amazing. The sweetness and acidity marries perfectly with rich, melty cheese, just like marinara does. And I beg to differ on the garlic: I like a sauce that bites back.

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[–] scytale@piefed.zip 22 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What's behind her and why does it have a vein?

[–] TemplaerDude@sh.itjust.works 20 points 5 months ago

I don’t adjust my opinions based on online voting done by idiots.

[–] sauerkrautsaul@lemmus.org 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (9 children)

diagonally.

two triangles. there's some science behind this: the angle/cut makes the eater take smaller bites.

smaller bites have been shown to have a greater sensory experience: texture & flavor.

if you like science and are smart cut your FUCKING SANDWICHES DIAGONALLY

[–] ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you like science you'll provide sources. ;)

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[–] RareCompass@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Wait, do votes on comments have any effect at all on Lemmy, or is it just a tally to see how popular your views are?

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 15 points 5 months ago

No effect apart from a bit of algo ranking. On reddit you get timed out if people down vote its annoying.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 5 months ago (3 children)

If you get 100,000, you get a pizza party

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[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] traceur201@piefed.social 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You guys cut your sandwiches?

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I used to go down in a blaze of glory when I went against the hivemind of old Imgur. Me in 2017, Elon Musk sucks, -200. You have own your opinion.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

An uncut sandwich is better than a horizontal cut sandwich.

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[–] adhd_traco@piefed.social 8 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Admirable. A single down-vote, even out of 200 and I take physical damage for the next few days.

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[–] TheGuyTM3@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 months ago (8 children)

How do you even cut a sandwich horizontally?? The slices of bread are alreadly separated from each other! On what reference do they consider the cutting plane?

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[–] azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago

That's actually very easy on Lemmy

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

When you post a comment and it gets downvotes: it AN opinion. Jeez.

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[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What is in the sandwich determines if you cut it diagonally. Tuna/chicken/egg salad sandwiches shouldn't be cut diagonally because everything falls out.

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