Ask Lemmy

Fauxcest. It didn't use to be so prolific.

Pulling that stupid ahegao face. I don't know who that's for, but it's definitely not me.

Production value.

I'll take a video recorded by a married couple with an iPhone over a bunch of fake people in a fake scenario faking how much fun they are having.

All the stupid “step-sis/bro” crap. I don’t need some disgusting back story just get busy.

Face slapping, choking, any kind of violent nonsense. I hate it so much...

And when the people won't shut the fuck up for two minutes...

Anytime the girl says shit like, "Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?"

STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.

slapping. no idea why that is so prevalent. I swear im not looking for it.

When the guy talks nonstop through the whole video. If that's your thing then go for it and enjoy but it just makes the whole thing difficult to enjoy for me. The guy always sounds like some neckbeard who is getting laid for the first time in his life and thinks he's supposed to recite every cringe line from every bad porn he's ever seen. You're not who I'm here for dude 🤮

Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk

Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.

The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.

Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.

I'd rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.

How they all seem to end with the guy jerking himself off onto the girl's face while she just sits there.

I am not here to watch you jerk yourself off, dude. If you just have to cum on her face for whatever reason, at least let her be the one to make it happen.

Just the fakeness of it

The weird... aggressively "barely legal" crowd....

Anything that comes across as fake, but especially long fake nails or in fact long nails of any kind. Please don't put those near any sensitive spots.

I say "comes across as" because all porn involves performance. It's about believability, not authenticity, at the end of the day.

Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.

Ahegao

Excessive moaning. Male or female. They sound like they're having a tough shit, not sex.

"Sexy" talk that amounts to verbal abuse.

The popularity of the incest shit is weird and seems indicative of a larger issue in our society.

Degradation being the rule and not a niche.

When guys rent open the actresses' asshole like they're looking for their car keys in there.

High Definition video Is the single worst thing to happen to porn. I need a little bit of mystery, who actually wants video fidelity so high you can see every skin tag and ingrown hair?

non consensual scenarios. i know it's all acting, but it's a turnoff for me, and kind of disturbs me that people get off on rape fantasies

When I forget my bluetooth is connected to something else in another room. Where is the volume? Then I panic.

Obviously fake noises and high pitched voices. Just talk at normal volumes and make moans and grunts and other non-performative noises, thanks.

Yes, I know that even doing that is performative to a degree, but convincingly realistic is better than B movie performances.

One of the actors being really not into it, faked or not.

If they aren't all clearly having fun, like in those fake rape videos, then it isn't for me.

I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude's thigh moving back and forth.

Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.

Thinking about the actors as people who are at work.

When a girl starts rimming the guy

I don't watch porn anymore, wasn't much on it anyway, because I watched a video of a woman on Reddit whose husband constantly set up multiple gang bangs for her, which she claimed to love and posted photos and videos of, but I realized when I played on how detached and disconnected she looked from the whole process, and that likely she was being largely forced into it by her husband. At one point she moved the wrong way and the guy who was basically using her slid out, and she just said "oh sorry" as if she had accidentally stepped on his toe. It was just depressing.

Disingenuous love or none at all.

Overly produced.

""Sssss, haahhh"

Doesn't care about woman's pleasure. Blowjob leads right into sex.

She's obviously dry.

The cum is fake.

The guy is half hard pushing rope while she's pretending too hard that it feels good.

Circumcised penis, especially if it's an oral video.

Gambling site ads embedded in a video.

A grainy video shot on a tripod with no studio lights with people who actually like each other is better than 95% of the garbage that gets posted. I prefer erotica written for men over videos. Even when it's written cheesy it's still better than most videos.

When the guy keeps fucking the uglier of the two girls and the pretty one is just kinda sitting there.

When the girl doesn't even get full naked. You've been fucking for almost an hour, why is your top still on? I wanna see your tiddies already!

No story or talking or setup at all.

When a girl is keening/moaning for no reason. She's not being touched, or anything, yet she's super loud. Breaks the willing suspense of disbelief.

Me finishing

Male moans, it's why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don't have this issue with doujins and fics.

Anytime the girl looks like she's not actually enjoying the sex. Fake or dubbed sound. Choking or slapping (see first item).

I also usually find any talking (sexy talk) to be awful. I don't have a problem with it in concept, but in porn execution, it's almost always super bad. Camera man talking is universally bad.