All the stupid “step-sis/bro” crap. I don’t need some disgusting back story just get busy.
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There's been an alarming rate of people who are into incest. Like, the lengths they'll go to try and watch things that consist of actual relatives.
I don't get it. Well okay, maybe except already inbred cousin-fuckers, but I don't get how any rational or normal person could be into it.
High Definition video Is the single worst thing to happen to porn. I need a little bit of mystery, who actually wants video fidelity so high you can see every skin tag and ingrown hair?
I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude's thigh moving back and forth.
Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.
- Prolonged close-ups and shitty camera angels in general. Do I really need to see 47 seconds of a dick sliding in and out of a pussy in 1080p?
- Seeing how badly porn actresses have aged, it seems you either quit while you're ahead, or move to Vegas get bolt on tits and lipfillers and gain 20 pounds, there seems to be no in between.
- Blood, I see even the tiniest speck of crimson red on the screen and I'm out.
I'd say everything else is just specific to taste. Something not being my kink doesn't ruin a video for me, it just doesn't interest me in the first place.
... shitty camera angels...
Shitty camera angels are the worst! Like, why even consider an Archangel when there are Seraphim and Cherubim out there!
Dominant men.
Actors looking directly into the camera outside of pov shots… like c'mon, who tf wants a fourth wall break in this sort of material?
When the dialogue isn't getting picked up properly by the mics. Fair enough if it's indie stuff but if it's professionally produced, surely they could afford to shell out for a boom mic. Perhaps it's just a mixing issue. Either way, it's annoying. Idk, maybe add subs.
Just the fakeness of it
This. Anything that looks like pro porn actors, high quality expensive filming equipment, "scenes", etc -- all that is instant limp-dick.
The best is when a totally amateur person/couple/group have hi-rez, hi-quality 60 FPS cam and are naturally exhibitionists and sexual freaks.
Support small time pr0n producers! Fight corporatism!
Male moans, it's why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don't have this issue with doujins and fics.
Males suck at moaning, they just do.
Should've been clue number 1 I wasn't male.
Pulling that stupid ahegao face. I don't know who that's for, but it's definitely not me.
straights,
Like seriously, im not Here for sexism...
Dialogue.
Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.
Love being online, where people can casually say "I spend a fair about of time in kink clubs" and nobody bats an eyelid.
Anytime the girl says shit like, "Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?"
STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.
"Uhh.. yeah uh. You're pussy's alright, ma'am."
tips hat
slapping. no idea why that is so prevalent. I swear im not looking for it.
And spitting into mouths. And onto dicks. I mean if you're doing a whole degradation thing then fine. Not going to say it's never hot, but if it's just sex between two people and not hate fucking, count me out. Also throat fucking until they either puke or just snot comes out of everywhere.
And if you're going to do degradation, I need a pre- and post-sex interview of the bottom (edit: I originally said girl, but that's just how I roll, same would apply in reverse—I'm just not excited by femdom) saying how they are into it/loved it. Degradation with full consent and proper aftercare can be hot but I rarely see that. I think there's like one company that does it right. (And no I don't remember the company because frankly I don't watch all the much porn these days. That company might've gone under a decade ago for all I know.)
Fauxcest. It didn't use to be so prolific.
I think there's a lot of it in particular because it's easy to produce (just add a few lines of dialogue about it) and it's easy to ignore if people dislike it but aren't outright disgusted by it ("yeah it's gross, but I know they're acting and that's not part of it for me").
Well I'm an only child, so it's not just conceptually repulsive, it's distracting and unrelatable.
I know, I'm being spoiled. Just one more thing I didn't have to share with a sibling eh?
Production value.
I'll take a video recorded by a married couple with an iPhone over a bunch of fake people in a fake scenario faking how much fun they are having.
Face slapping, choking, any kind of violent nonsense. I hate it so much...
And when the people won't shut the fuck up for two minutes...
Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk
Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.
The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.
Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.
I'd rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.
The number one thing to ruin a porn video is my ejaculating about 10 seconds earlier.
Disingenuous love or none at all.
Overly produced.
""Sssss, haahhh"
Doesn't care about woman's pleasure. Blowjob leads right into sex.
She's obviously dry.
The cum is fake.
The guy is half hard pushing rope while she's pretending too hard that it feels good.
Circumcised penis, especially if it's an oral video.
Gambling site ads embedded in a video.
A grainy video shot on a tripod with no studio lights with people who actually like each other is better than 95% of the garbage that gets posted. I prefer erotica written for men over videos. Even when it's written cheesy it's still better than most videos.
shouldn't there be an nsfw tag on this?
Don't scroll Lemmy at work.
you don't know where they work
Fun fact:
Back during the dotcom boom I met a guy in San Francisco who worked fixing bugs in Netscape's rendering engine.
He said ~80% of the problem reports were from porn sites complaining that their page didn't work properly in NS but worked fine in IE.
So yeah he spent all day on porn sites, making them better for the rest of us.
True hero.
The content is apparent from the title, plus the nsfw tag is only really useful on media imo. Opening a lewd pic on the bus because it wasn't tagged is not the same thing as opening a text thread
Excessive moaning. Male or female. They sound like they're having a tough shit, not sex.
"Sexy" talk that amounts to verbal abuse.
The popularity of the incest shit is weird and seems indicative of a larger issue in our society.
Degradation being the rule and not a niche.
When guys rent open the actresses' asshole like they're looking for their car keys in there.
How they all seem to end with the guy jerking himself off onto the girl's face while she just sits there.
I am not here to watch you jerk yourself off, dude. If you just have to cum on her face for whatever reason, at least let her be the one to make it happen.
I vaguely remember a standup comic from maybe 25 years ago who had a joke about being at a gas station, and suspecting the attendant was moonlighting as a porn star. Just before the fuel tank was done filling, the attendant pulled out the nozzle and sprayed it all over the car's hood and windshield.
When the guy talks nonstop through the whole video. If that's your thing then go for it and enjoy but it just makes the whole thing difficult to enjoy for me. The guy always sounds like some neckbeard who is getting laid for the first time in his life and thinks he's supposed to recite every cringe line from every bad porn he's ever seen. You're not who I'm here for dude 🤮