this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Let’s say people can’t agree on the time to go to bed, and each timezone declared war on every other timezone. Who would win in this conflict? What alliances would form, and will there be betrayal? What would the new world order look like with a standard time for everyone?

GMT+8 looks good with the entire population of China on its side. GMT+1 and +2 have large chunks of Europe and Africa and could be quite strong too. The timezones in the east and west coast of the U.S. might also stand a good chance.

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[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago

Whatever the China Time zone is obviously.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 5 hours ago

My time zone of course!

[–] menas@lemmy.wtf 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I think it's depend of which kind of war. If it's obvious for everyone that "they is no way we can agree" from the beginning, so it's a nuclear preemptive strike from the first timezone aware of the rules. So Europe, China, India and Pakistan are close competitors. US have and Canada shall destroy itself, their nuclear capacities are spread across several "timezone interests". Funny enough, what may make the difference between Europe, China, India and Pakistan may be the hour when the situation declare itself. If the ruling class is asleep, officer may need to wait to wake them up, as it was during the 1983 false nuclear alarm

If it's not obvious that their is no way to make agreement, we may see an escalation of conflict, starting with soft and hard power. This scenario may be very close of the current relationships, and the winner may be the main imperialists power : Europe or the US In this scenario, it seems obvious that the US adopt one timezone, and make it adopt for every countries in the North and South America. It's next move would be to sabotage other negotiations. I didn't exclude Europe from the competitions, because the neo-colonial relationships may help the expand their timezone in their former colonies. What may make the differences is the attitude of UK and Russa. Depending if they adopt the European timezone or not.

I don't think the number of people involve in one timezone make a change; this is short term scenarios, and economic and diplomatic power seems unrelated with the population size

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] menas@lemmy.wtf 3 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

I thought they where still hosting US one, but it seems that they ended it in 1984 : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_and_weapons_of_mass_destruction

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 2 points 9 hours ago

*they *were

I’m sorry, but it really bothered me

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Either +1 or +8

That said all 4 in America could end life on earth

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

they could but wouldn't. not for moral reasons but because if you end all life companies that own you wouldn't make any money.

[–] brisk@aussie.zone 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

+9 appears to be currently shivving +10, so my money is with them

I may have misunderstood the assignment

[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 15 points 22 hours ago
[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

China's cheating, it's all crammed forcefully into one timezone, Beijing's!
In far western China in winter, it could be noon and the sun is barely rising over the horizon. Then in summer the sunset might be at around 1am.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

Oh and +1 isn't. Look at it, they put Spain in Berlin's time zone to appease an angry loser 90 years ago and just left it there

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I never noticed that China only has one time zone. Must be terrible for the people on the west end

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

Banking and government office hours!

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 20 hours ago

I think there's going to be a multi-way tie as the nukes get launched...

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There should be no time zones. We don't need them. It's 8pm, everywhere on Earth at the same time. Darkness is falling at 8pm in Dublin, but it's still sunny and bright at 8pm in New York. It would take some adjusting but would remove all of the logic and cost associated with timing a particular place.

[–] nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ask people in western China how that's working for them. And that's only the width of one country, not a continent or hemisphere.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If your friend is of China's majority Han ethnicity, you can assume that by 3 o'clock he's referring to Beijing Standard Time. But if your friend is a Uighur, the largest ethnic minority group in Xinjiang, he might be referring to “local time,” which is two hours behind.

^ this is a problem because of the existence of time zones.

In the summer, for instance, it isn’t uncommon in Urumqi, Xinjiang's capital, to see people enjoying a beautiful sunset ... at midnight

^ this is NOT a problem. there is no inherent issue with the sun being up at midnight.

Time Zones cause more trouble than they're worth, as you pointed out. I'm recommending removing them.

[–] mapu@slrpnk.net 2 points 21 hours ago

I think we can arrive to a best-of-both-worlds solution if we just up the tolerance for when solar noon can be to 12:00±2 h. If China just had +7 instead of +8 as their timezone then 99 % of the population would have solar noon in between 10:30 and 13:30. Same applies to the entire EU (excluding Outermost Regions) if it had +1. The entirety of South America and most of the Caribbean would fit in +4. The US could definitely get away with 3 timezones instead of its current 5 (-6, -8, -10).

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Probably China. It’s one nation, full of industry and under a single leadership. They could produce whatever they needed. China is one time zone.

Next competitor is the slice encompassing a large number of countries in Africa as well as most of western Europe. Huge number of people and industries contained in that slice, but they lack common leadership.

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The one with the entire country of china obviously

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[–] foggy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

China.

Not even a question.

They have 1 time zone.

Kiribati wins!

They can just go back in time, DUH!

[–] Geobloke@aussie.zone 77 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Definitely +8, they have like a third of the world's population.

The first to lose world be +8.25 they're at the bottom of Western Australia. There's roughly 12 people there unless Bruce is passing through. A fuck ton of emu war veterans though. From the side that won

[–] zlatiah@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Not to mention that the entirety of China, a singular political and military entity (a fairly strong one nonetheless), is somehow all +8 due to a technicality

Now all of China knows you're here!

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

The one with Hawaii could just pretend they've already been wiped out and wait for everyone else to destroy each other

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 19 points 1 day ago

Greenwich Mean Time.

Because it's mean.

[–] bitcrafter@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They would all lose because they stretch all the way down into Antarctica which means that the penguins would be involved...

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Hmm how do time zones work at the south pole? Can you run in a small circle and hit most if not all of them?

[–] bitcrafter@programming.dev 1 points 2 hours ago

Apparently not quite! It looks like you would mostly be stepping back and forth between UTC and its opposite.

Given that time zones are essentially set by the local research stations, I conclude that Chile and Argentina would win the war because their time zone has the most coastland and so they would have the most penguins on their side.

[–] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wow is that map ever a trainwreck

But -5 stronk like bull

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Where's -5? The map's way too grainy for me to see.

East coast of North America / West coast of South America

[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

GMT-11 wins because nobody remembers to nuke them.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Any war with this many aggressors who were all opposed to each other absolutely would just look like everyone killing each other at random. Even without nukes, it would be madness on a scale never before seen, resulting in a quieter, nay sleepier world.

UTC obviously.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago

US and Russia would tear themselves apart internally. That leaves China with the largest functioning army, vs the EU if they can mobilize fast enough

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Poor Newfoundland

[–] wieson@feddit.org 6 points 1 day ago

+8 or +1 (don't forget Nigeria)

[–] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It would result in the total collapse of the entire time zone system. Every location would switch to local solar time and the war would be over.

When those areas need to communicate with each other, they would develop a new global time system that simply counts seconds from a particular moment in time. Sort of like unix time, but with the epoch set to the moment the new system was launched.

[–] Pumafred9@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Develop a new time global system? We Brits can't even agree on what to call a bread roll!

[–] OccamsTeapot@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's breadcake. Problem solved. No further discussion necessary

[–] Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You shut your filthy whore mouth.

Its a cob.

[–] OccamsTeapot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Love some nice baps

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[–] phonics@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Australians, because they live in the future. Theyll fuck you up yesterday.

[–] BlueEther@no.lastname.nz 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

+12 would just ignore you all

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