this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Kinperor@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 days ago

"I'm very concerned about my surgery, is the surgeon very talented?"

"Oh, he fucks"

"You mean that figuratively? As in, he's very good at what he does?"

"..."

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If a retail worker did that shit they'd get fired on the spot. What a shit show smfh.

[–] MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Pretty sure if a retail worker was caught performing surgery, they'd be arrested.

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Harharhar you're so funny I'm belly laughing right now.

[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Much harder to replace a trained anaesthetist than a retail worker, though.

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Not a good excuse

[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Look he's been travelling through time and space for thousands of years and spent billions of years dying repeatedly in a time loop, i don't think he gives a shit about some patient in surgery when there's a chance to get his end away.

[–] SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

He will tap 'dat four times

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[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

Specially if he gets to tap peak Billie Piper or Freema Agyeman.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago

Man, that show really went to shit...

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

the everfucking fuck, he's an anaesthetist. anyone else in the OR can skip out for 15 seconds to fuck, he can't.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

oh look at johnny 20 seconds here

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 2 days ago

Yep it's in the rules.

Anyone but the anaesthetist. They are supposed to wait until after the operation, but the advantages they get to take their time.

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I really which they would change these headlines. “Doctor that-“ is perfectly acceptable and doesn’t make me think about Doctor who lol. I see them regularly

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 days ago

it gets bigger on the inside.

Timelords are canines, confirmed

[–] CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one 113 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Bullshit. Doctor Who would never leave a patient during an operation to have sex. I'm not sure The Doctor ever has sex. Well maybe Tenant's clone but he wasn't really The Doctor at that point was he?

[–] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 34 points 3 days ago (12 children)

It's greatly implied during many of The Doctors that he has sex often.

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[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 42 points 3 days ago (2 children)

LIES! Doctor Who would never leave a patient like that!

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[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why did they put a time lord into the operations room, anyway?

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[–] ABetterTomorrow@sh.itjust.works 63 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Doctor Who is getting nuts these days.

[–] brax@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Per the headline, it seems he's giving nuts more than getting nuts. But maybe both?

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[–] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

honestly I don't even care, at least the doctor wasn't fucking the patient

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However, she was satisfied

Phrasing.

...that Anjum was determined not to repeat his past misconduct and considered the risk of repetition to be “very low”.

That old medical adage: Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice... You can't get fucked again.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 68 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Was the operation a success?

[–] Endmaker@ani.social 88 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

Anjum was absent from the operating room for eight minutes and the patient came to no harm.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago

That poor nurse... With the removal of gloves, coats and other items, followed by the replacement of them, that leaves little time for her. This dudes a two pump chump.

[–] Carighan@piefed.world 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

8 minutes? Disappointing. Hope the nurse found someone better.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 days ago

That's why the doctor needs the practise.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

came to? Oh shit what happened after he woke up?

[–] errer@lemmy.world 43 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

and the patient came too, no harm !

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[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago (2 children)

A whole lot of you seem to prefer your narcissistic surgeon to operate on you while horny out of his mind. If he's got a boner to the point he can't concentrate, and I can be kept stable a few minutes, and he has a willing partner, be my guest.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 47 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It was an anesthesiologist. And yeah, I'd much rather be kept sleep throughout the entire surgery, thanks.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 48 points 3 days ago (4 children)

So that it's clear to everyone, anesthesiologists are usually the highest paid person on any surgical team, and there's a reason for that. Knocking you out without killing you is hard.

That said, the guy did leave someone else to monitor things, and wasn't gone for much more than a long bathroom break.

[–] Coopr8@kbin.earth 20 points 2 days ago

Open secret of the surgery business is that the CRNAs (specialty anesthesia nurses) do all the actual anesthesia work, the Anesthesiologist's job is really to pick the anesthetic based on patient history and bloodwork, do the calculations for dosing based on body weight, and attend for interventions if something goes wrong. The Nurse he put in charge when he left was almost certainly already doing all the work anyway and he was just twiddling his thumbs with a hard on in the corner.

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[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 15 points 3 days ago

Do you really want to be operated on by someone who has an unyielding boner when youre lying there cut open on the table? If anything should be a boner killer I would think thats it

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 41 points 3 days ago (3 children)

...it's always the OR. And I don't understand how, cuz in the OR there's always a full team of people working in tandem, so opportunities to just disappear without being noticed while fucking a coworker or patient are pretty much nonexistent.

Actually maybe that's why it's always the OR lol: folks fucking each other in other units just aren't getting caught.

That or we're just the Florida of the hospital. /shrug.

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[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 44 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I have to admit, I wasn't expecting this plot twist out of a BBC science fiction show.

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 38 points 3 days ago (3 children)

He felt the patient from the inside, turned to the nurse and said “I wanna fuck you like an animal.”

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Was operation successful? Whatever it takes, man.

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 15 points 3 days ago

Doctor Who left patient...

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