At press time, California Governor Gavin Newsom condemned the shooting because he was hoping to have Kirk back as a guest on his podcast next week.
slow clap
this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2025
392 points (98.8% liked)
The Onion
6776 readers
673 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
"Hey! It was MY turn to shoot him (on camera)!"
He still could.
Really did he say that? Fucking Newsome really going hard right.
This is wild, Jesus...
I was kinda shocked that they:
- got it out so quickly
- went that hard
They already have another one about the shooter missing the biggest head in the world.
They got confused by how small the face is in comparison
You gotta strike while the lead is hot.
Day-um, The Hard Times is leveling up lately!
please don't be tempted to pop that champagne folks, save it, you know why
Story was removed, here is an archive. https://archive.is/mIMx0
Any other good archive, not reCAPTCHA'd?
I did not have a recaptcha there, very interesting. Try, https://web.archive.org/web/20250910200125/https://thehardtimes.net/culture/anti-vaxxer-finally-gets-shot/
And here is the actual article, very short.
OREM, Utah — Conservative activist and noted anti-vaxxer Charlie Kirk finally received a shot while delivering a speech in front of brainwashed students at Utah Valley University earlier today, sources confirmed.
“He was on stage talking about gang violence when all of a sudden his head jerked around and he fell to the floor. I knew immediately it was because of the nanobots in the mRNA vaccines,” said Turning Point USA member Eli Jennings. “There is no way a beautiful American bullet that is worshipped in the U.S. Constitution would do something like this to Charlie. This is obviously the work of scientists who are trying to eradicate communicable diseases, and we will not forget.”
At press time, California Governor Gavin Newsom condemned the shooting because he was hoping to have Kirk back as a guest on his podcast next week.
Thoughts and prayers.
That was fast!
Gotta love the hard times!
Haha holy shit that got a legitimate out loud laugh from me.
10/10 no notes
"May we all find ourselves in the world we strive for."
Missed opportunity to make a pun about the flu shot