this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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I was planning to write a longer post for this mega and then Silksong happened so... oops?

Short version is this week is my 9th tranniversary. I don't remember which day exactly so I like to say it was 9/11 so I'd never forget. What ultimately cracked my egg all those years ago was not the deep yearning when looking at women that I couldn't identify as envy or the increasingly intense and umm horny dreams where I had the power to instantly change my gender. No it was that fucking faceapp gender swap filter. I just kept staring at that pic like it was a mirror into an alternate universe where I was happier and suddenly everything clicked into place. The first few years were hit or miss with a lot of other life changes happening at the time that interfered with getting properly started so in some ways it's more like a 5 or 6 year tranniversary but whatever. vivian-shrug

It's weird to say I'm almost done but I really am so close to making all the changes I wanted. I'll never stop being trans, but I'm definitely moving from trans(itioning) femme to trans(itioned) femme and that's quite exciting. And maybe a little wistful looking back at the journey.

Have a good week everyone!


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[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

If I had the death note I would manipulate all the leaders of the western world into flying to the desert in texas, laying down to spell out "God is watching", then they all simultaneously die of a heart attack. It will be televised of course.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sometimes people say they could use the death note responsibly. But you cant even not use the fuckin thing. Ryuk will just kill you if you dont do something cool, so all those people that say they wouldn't write any names down - congrats, Ryuk kills you and moves on.

Now making world leaders die, thats a good idea that should keep Ryuk satisfied. Just gotta keep his sense of satisfaction and interest up. I dont think you even need to top yourself every time, just keep up the same level.

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[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

its 2025 we arent still pretending misandry is real right

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

my gender is that one mysterious faintly androgynous masked antagonist character that always gets gendered as male until near the end of the series where the mask gets removed and it turns out i was a hot girl the entire time

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It's raining. It's thundering. I'm standing by the open window looking out to the cloudy darkened sky while fully nude and ~~munching cereal~~ sipping wine. This is the kind of atmosphere I live for.

Fuck summer. It's rainy season!

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[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It took me forever but I finally hunted down a real, physical skirt that is basic. They still exist!

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[–] Disaster_of_Passion@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Does it still count as yearning if I need romantic-cuddles or friend-cuddles?

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

spoilerOf course the night I have to do shit is the one where I feel fucking awful. I can't stop the thoughts. I feel so, so bad about this right now.

[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago
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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

Venus help me, I'm thirsting over a long time childhood friend who I know damn well isn't into me

[–] shallot@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

Coping with the state of the world by making an alt with a silly name on hexbear dot net.

sometimes I wish I could have modes of being other than "fiscally irresponsible because I feel like shit" and "fiscally irresponsible because I feel kind of okay, maybe even good"

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

midnight sad postingi have yearned for so, so many fucking years

and idk how much longer i can take still being alone

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

It’s a small thing but on tumblr I’ve been dunking on some terfs.

I should literally be doing anything else with my life, but I just like the idea some trans person out there will see the rebuttal and feel a little bit better someone didn’t let transphobia slide.

[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

so we see a lot of people on here using the term "wrecker" to describe people but like... what does that even mean? we cant find it defined anywhere and we arent online enough to know the lingo. any insight here?

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Someone (typically a reactionary) coming into an online space just to start shit and cause fights

that's how we use it on here, but in other spaces it can refer to anyone perceived as creating conflict specifically to dissolve the bonds of solidarity. as you can imagine it's very easy to levy this accusation in bad faith.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There is apparently a queer romance brewing at work, currently being kept apart by homophobic parents πŸ’” tbh I thought for sure one was a trans girl. Maybe an egg ya never know.

spoilerLow key does me some psychic damage that this gay guy is more fem then me. I'm straight up just a dude with long hair :kitty-cri-potato: even the one who's not actually fem presenting

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

Fuck my tits are sore AGAIN

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Trying to do Linux now and it's been a process, idk just letting it install now and waiting went with mint

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

spoilerSeeing the wrong thing can really just put me in such a terrible headspace and doom about stuff

I wish I could get myself to be more careful

[–] meler@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

We shall discover the effects the squats will bring

[–] Des@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

my partner grabbed a really good username on here years ago and just sits on it. they are too socially anxious about internet communities despite the few interactions on here being very pleasant

also i think browsing was making them blackpilled. so now i just screenshot stuff and run shitposts by them since we chat through text while they are away for work (i literally have copy/pasted emojis from here)

so just pretend i have a little 1ft tall Spock on my shoulder whispering shit into my ear and saying "fascinating" a lot

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

reference to dysphoria, minor venting.I visited my folks (not out) this week since they're taking care of my cats while I'm between jobs and my current apartment doesn't allow pets. The cats were doing well, but I felt pretty miserable due to anxiety via-a-vie the news as well as the dysphoria of being home and being in boymode. I'm glad to be back home with my partner.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

current events + family postingMy dad is full on grieving, constantly whining about how this country is so divided, how could someone do this just because of his opinions, wah wah. Mom has watched his clips and liked his speaking style.

Genuinely so cooked. My dad has just been talking all about it, angrily scrolling through comments about it. A couple days left of him being home. He's definitely going to keep talking to me about this.

Obviously Kirk has supported genociding us

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[–] dragongloss@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

cw: Misgendering, alcohol

spoiler

I went on an anniversary weekend trip with my partner and while she went to the liquor store picking up some sparkling wine for us to celebrate with I was standing outside waiting for her with my dog. Guy in a wheelchair comes out of the store, carrying several 6 packs and mini bottles of spirits. Downs one immediately, then asks me for help to get his 6 packs put away into his bag hanging off the back of his wheelchair since he was holding them in his lap. I help him and put his 6 packs securely away in his tote bag. He then tells me I sound like a boy. (I pass, but not my voice). I tell him I'm not a boy and he offers me voice lessons which I politely decline.

Finally, my partner comes out the store and we walk to the hotel as I tell her what happened. We see another trans couple holding hands walking ahead of us and some guy leans out his truck window and pretends to vomit. Terrible start to what was supposed to be a good weekend, rest of the weekend went well, but that definitely soured things for me.

I've had worse happen to me from transphobic scumbags and that stuff is certainly scary, but the casual bullshit you have to deal with on a daily basis as a trans person adds up after awhile and it is getting to me.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

bizarre dream talk. also pisshad a dream where i was in some kind of summer camp or something. idk what to call it. it was almost entirely made up of men and for some reason they grouped me in with the male side i genuinely didn't complain or argue with it. i then remember going into the bathroom while there was like 6 other guys in there and just flooding a urinal with piss. just completely soaking the thing. i needed to flush the damn urinal at least once before finishing.

idk what the point of this is other than me in my dreams absolutely pissmogging the cis boys

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

Liquid gold your finances are on the up, time to invest or gamble take advantage of this sign stonks-up

[–] hungrybread@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

I got my legs and armpits waxed for the first time and just wanna say I'm loving being smooth AF again

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