this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
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[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago

he got the reverse fetterman stroke and he won't stop saying woke shit like "power to the proletariat" and "we gotta start taking care of our trans comrades folks, believe it"

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have a gut feeling seeing this picture - call it wishful thinking, but it just strikes me that this is the picture of a man with advanced cancer.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It'll be wild to watch him waste away, whilst his sycophants comment on how fit and healthy he's looking due to a new gym routine or something

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

The host has begun to reject the bronzer

[–] Bruja@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

Sudden realisation that he wasted his entire life on frivolous, material things. Never made a genuine human connection; surrounded by people who only want to get something out of him. Should have been a better partner. Better father. Gave too much away in that fox interview; facing his mortality he reflects how he wants to be remembered: a virtuous man worthy of heaven. He has taken days off, away from office, away from the crushing weight of finally developing empathy. He’s going to dissolve the Union and flee to a monastery to live out the rest of his days in piety, solemn reflection, and listening to the universe for guidance.
trump-enlightened

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

He got an early copy of Silksong and he’s been playing for nine hours a day.

[–] Flinch@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

he's healthy :)

[–] BadTakesHaver@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

he's so excited for Silksong he hasn't slept in 4 days

[–] xiaohongshu@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

It’s the Ritual to transfer the Dark God of Neoliberalism from the corporeal vessel of Joe Biden to Donald Trump. The Dark Entity is still adapting to the new Host. The Brandonification will continue as the Entity completes the take over of the Host.

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The worm is taking control

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Rom@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The worm was only using RFK to get to Trump

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Fair-weather worm

[–] Aradino@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Started hrt and got the estrdiol blues

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

nah, this is what I looked like before HRT. I'm still fucked up and bad but in a more vibrant way now

[–] shath@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago
[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

The Brandoning (2025)

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Impersonating a thumb fresh out of the pool

[–] SerLava@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This thing was only ever tested on waify commies! There wasn't nearly enough shellfish venom in the whole magazine

[–] Noodles4dinner@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He has joined a pro fluid retention discord or telegram channel.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

america's first nofap president

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Nothing is going on.

Sorry to spoil your "fun"

[–] SerLava@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Donald Trump is far too chronically online to not hear what people are saying, and would be posting about how vigorous he is

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[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

when I'm fucked up, that's the real me trump-anguish

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

He has lost his sauce, he is now sauceless.

[–] VibeCoder@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago
[–] Florn@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

He heard Silksong was coming out and started laying groundwork for a few weeks off work

[–] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

He's realizing that everyone around him hates him, and that his crowning life achievement has been avoiding the consequences of his own actions, but that the one thing he can't manipulate his way out of is that everyone he actually respects thinks he sucks, so that's what his legacy will be.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Baron Harkonnen pic unrelated

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Deep state got him for Q posting, this is his clone that hasn't had the right skin treatments yet

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago
[–] DivineChaos100@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who's the Ernie to his Bert?

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

He was in kkkrakkker barrel for 3days to get the logo back.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

remember that novie Doctor Sleep... is looks like "Grampa Flick" just before he started "cycling".

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[–] CommCat@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

real Weekend at Donnies vibes

[–] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago

Missed his spray tan appointment

[–] roux@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Look at his ears. It's clearly a body double. The real Trump is dead.

[–] PurrLure@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

He's completely bald under that cap and is now pondering his own mortality.

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He's been out of that Harkoennen tar pit for too long

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"Democrats complain about my ballroom. A president needs a ballroom. And a tar pit. So I got a tar pit too. Now democrats will complain about my tar pit too."

"A tar pit, Mr. President?"

"Yeah. I learned that from the Baron. Barron's namesake. Baron should have two Rs too. Writer mistake. Two Rs are strong and powerful."

"I see. I'd like to ask you about your tariffs."

"More complaining. Always complaining. But the spice must flow."

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

"People say I'm in bad shape, do I look in bad shape folks? I'm standing on the scales right now and look at that, some are saying I'm the lightest president there's ever been."

"Mr President, your levitation pack is still on..."

[–] omegathrowaway@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

He is thinking about dinner

[–] VernetheJules@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

Contemplating purchasing more slurp juice

all-my-apes-gone

[–] fire86743@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 month ago

Nikita Khrushchev came back and is now the president of the United States.

[–] EatPotatoes@hexbear.net 1 points 1 month ago

Hey. He is living for the first time too. <3

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