this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
708 points (97.8% liked)

Greentext

7218 readers
512 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 149 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did your girlfriend come to her senses, and realize how great those plates are?

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 10 points 2 months ago

Obv its because he chose the plates and not the girlfriend

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Can it bee?

[–] FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip 12 points 2 months ago

Dear god it them

The myth, the legend, the plate

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 96 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Make a terrible person leave you alone in this one easy step

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago (4 children)

She didn't communicate her needs well enough.

Honestly, the Bee plates showing up is more her fault than his.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 61 points 2 months ago

Lack of communication is one thing, losing your shit like this because of it is another. ...but that's two things now, so...

[–] Tenniswaffles@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 2 months ago (19 children)

Didn't communicate her needs? What more communication do you need beyond "get fancy dinner plates"? How do you fuck that up? If you're unsure, communicate your need for further information, or google fancy dinner plates.

load more comments (19 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 74 points 2 months ago

Dang, sounds like those plates are perfectly age appropriate for your gf

[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you are somewhat tight for cash or shopping for another person some conflict stemming from this is completely reasonable.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 46 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Then again I find it weird to give someone money and then say "Buy some plates" without any further details or supervision. Of course anon could have, yknow, asked if the plates are okay before ordering

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 62 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

A greentext story is like a dream. You're following the narrative, while simultaneously thinking that this makes no sense and how did things get here.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"buy fancy dinner plates" is enough details

[–] licheas@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, depending on context, these qualify.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Are you kidding me?! There isn't a single person I know who wouldn't at least appreciate those plates enough to chuckle! Those are awesome plates, I'd use those plates even for formal events, the only people who'd be upset by them are stuck-up assholes!

[–] licheas@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

and teenagers insisting they're no longer kids. (same fight as "kids table" stuff. To be honest, when I became an adult, the kids table was always more fun anyhow. Dinosaurs are way more interesting topics of conversation than adult-stuff.)

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

100% same. I'm the built-in babysitter for family events. Why would I want to hear my aunt ask for the 500th time why I'm not married, when my nephews and nieces are playing out a story where Bluey and Sonic the Hedgehog team up to fight crime? Screw boring grown-up talk, I want the imaginative adventure.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I 100% believe the moment we try to pretend we aren't children anymore is the moment we deny a huge chunk of what makes us human.

Not to mention a HUGE mistake logistically speaking, because it also means that we wouldn't be working with the actual data. We don't lose who we've been, it constantly gets incorporated into who we're becoming. Those kids we used to be are still there, alive and well (and probably sobbing in a corner for a friggin' crumb of honest, carefree enjoyment of, like, anything!) and all we do is to try to bury them deeper and deeper, until we can't hear those sobs anymore. But those sobs just get worse, until they... stop. After a loong, long time, they stop - killed where nobody else could hear it.

And if all of that sounds insane, it's because it is. That's my point.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I like how it has an attached dipping plate. Not doubt for ketchup to dip dinosaurs nuts in

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

those are to give the kid different types of food in correct quantities

source : am dad, even have the cutlery that fits this set.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Dinosaur... nuts? Never heard of 'em

[–] Wolf@lemmy.today 6 points 2 months ago

Come over to my place sometime.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Pretty sure thats just a matching bowl next to it.

Dino Nuggies are for kids, adults eat tendies.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 43 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Break up with gf and marry the plates

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Woah, we‘re not on r/relationshipadvice here!

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Clearly. If we were he'd be advised to hit facebook, delete the lawyer, and hire a gym too

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] frog@feddit.uk 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Stop beeeeeeing such a bitch!

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I bet that stung ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fake: anon has gf

Gay: anon buys colourful kitchenware and posts about it online in order to start a discussion

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

They're adorable, though. That part is true.

[–] Carvex@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

Task failed successfully

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 22 points 2 months ago

babyplates.jpg

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 months ago

Can confirm, these are awesome plates. They were my daughter’s favorites.

[–] Nebula@fedia.io 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Idk what his gf is on about. These slap and anon is clearly a distinguished gentleman.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 months ago

Could've been interpreted as he wants kids but anyway.

[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 months ago

Fake (anon has gf) and gay (said fake gf hates the plates)

[–] TRAHR@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

They're so cute.

[–] AlexisFR@jlai.lu 9 points 2 months ago

1: 2015

2: is this a repost from Reddit?

[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

I'd be fucking delighted if my wife brought home these plates.

load more comments
view more: next ›