this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
704 points (97.8% liked)

Greentext

7033 readers
267 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 145 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did your girlfriend come to her senses, and realize how great those plates are?

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 10 points 1 month ago

Obv its because he chose the plates and not the girlfriend

[–] FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip 12 points 1 month ago

Dear god it them

The myth, the legend, the plate

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Can it bee?

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 95 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Make a terrible person leave you alone in this one easy step

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (4 children)

She didn't communicate her needs well enough.

Honestly, the Bee plates showing up is more her fault than his.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 60 points 1 month ago

Lack of communication is one thing, losing your shit like this because of it is another. ...but that's two things now, so...

[–] Tenniswaffles@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 month ago (19 children)

Didn't communicate her needs? What more communication do you need beyond "get fancy dinner plates"? How do you fuck that up? If you're unsure, communicate your need for further information, or google fancy dinner plates.

load more comments (19 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 73 points 1 month ago

Dang, sounds like those plates are perfectly age appropriate for your gf

[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you are somewhat tight for cash or shopping for another person some conflict stemming from this is completely reasonable.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 45 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Then again I find it weird to give someone money and then say "Buy some plates" without any further details or supervision. Of course anon could have, yknow, asked if the plates are okay before ordering

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 61 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

A greentext story is like a dream. You're following the narrative, while simultaneously thinking that this makes no sense and how did things get here.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"buy fancy dinner plates" is enough details

[–] licheas@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, depending on context, these qualify.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Are you kidding me?! There isn't a single person I know who wouldn't at least appreciate those plates enough to chuckle! Those are awesome plates, I'd use those plates even for formal events, the only people who'd be upset by them are stuck-up assholes!

[–] licheas@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

and teenagers insisting they're no longer kids. (same fight as "kids table" stuff. To be honest, when I became an adult, the kids table was always more fun anyhow. Dinosaurs are way more interesting topics of conversation than adult-stuff.)

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

100% same. I'm the built-in babysitter for family events. Why would I want to hear my aunt ask for the 500th time why I'm not married, when my nephews and nieces are playing out a story where Bluey and Sonic the Hedgehog team up to fight crime? Screw boring grown-up talk, I want the imaginative adventure.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I 100% believe the moment we try to pretend we aren't children anymore is the moment we deny a huge chunk of what makes us human.

Not to mention a HUGE mistake logistically speaking, because it also means that we wouldn't be working with the actual data. We don't lose who we've been, it constantly gets incorporated into who we're becoming. Those kids we used to be are still there, alive and well (and probably sobbing in a corner for a friggin' crumb of honest, carefree enjoyment of, like, anything!) and all we do is to try to bury them deeper and deeper, until we can't hear those sobs anymore. But those sobs just get worse, until they... stop. After a loong, long time, they stop - killed where nobody else could hear it.

And if all of that sounds insane, it's because it is. That's my point.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I like how it has an attached dipping plate. Not doubt for ketchup to dip dinosaurs nuts in

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

those are to give the kid different types of food in correct quantities

source : am dad, even have the cutlery that fits this set.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dinosaur... nuts? Never heard of 'em

[–] Wolf@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago

Come over to my place sometime.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Pretty sure thats just a matching bowl next to it.

Dino Nuggies are for kids, adults eat tendies.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 43 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Break up with gf and marry the plates

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Woah, we‘re not on r/relationshipadvice here!

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Clearly. If we were he'd be advised to hit facebook, delete the lawyer, and hire a gym too

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] frog@feddit.uk 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Stop beeeeeeing such a bitch!

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I bet that stung ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fake: anon has gf

Gay: anon buys colourful kitchenware and posts about it online in order to start a discussion

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

They're adorable, though. That part is true.

[–] Carvex@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Task failed successfully

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 22 points 1 month ago

babyplates.jpg

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 month ago

Can confirm, these are awesome plates. They were my daughter’s favorites.

[–] Nebula@fedia.io 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Idk what his gf is on about. These slap and anon is clearly a distinguished gentleman.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 month ago

Could've been interpreted as he wants kids but anyway.

Fake (anon has gf) and gay (said fake gf hates the plates)

[–] TRAHR@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

They're so cute.

[–] AlexisFR@jlai.lu 9 points 1 month ago

1: 2015

2: is this a repost from Reddit?

[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago

I'd be fucking delighted if my wife brought home these plates.

load more comments
view more: next ›