this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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all 37 comments
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[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.film 56 points 1 year ago (2 children)

To call a taxi you can go in the red zone but the hand has to be sideways and you must be doing a frantic fast waving while screaming “TAXIII” in a high pitch voice. Also get on your tippy toes.

[–] Aidan@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

And it’s not an open palm gesture, you point only your index finger up. Otherwise it looks like you’re just waving at someone

[–] beanz00_@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

if you face your palm to the side rather than to the ground it looks less bad

[–] MrZigZag@kbin.social 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Call waiter" is also grade school "Pick me, I know the answer!"

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You have to say "oohoohooh!" along with it.

[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

Omg I remember kids in middle school making that sound like they're in a zoo. But then again, I did go to a school that felt like a zoo.

[–] sparemethewearysigh@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

Only if you’re the Hermione Granger type lol

[–] damien@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Help! I put my arm in the red zone and now I hear marching outside.

[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 year ago

Lemme fix that for you real quick...

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Icht bin schleebin unst der Fuhrer! 9! 9!

[–] genoxidedev1@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a German I would not even think of trying any of these except Rest or Call Waiter.

[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

As an American, I almost never have to call a waiter because they swing by every five minutes to make sure I'm not dead.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, but not one time have they swung by to find you dead, so it's obviously working.

[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I... I can't find fault in that logic.

[–] kibiz0r@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a midwesterner, I never call a waiter because I don’t want to bother them.

[–] shadowSprite@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

As an introvert with social anxiety I never call a waiter because I eat my food at home away from people like the rest of the losers

[–] MisterEspinacas@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

"If you're alive, could I interest you in some dessert? We have a wide selection of desserts! If you don't order dessert and you're not dead, please leave. Your table is useless because you aren't buying anything more!"

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] genoxidedev1@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honestly, when I made the username I didn't really think that it would be taken into correlation. That's why there's "dev" at the end because I just wanted a cool username and combine it with my hobby.

Just a disclaimer because we also do not joke about what our ancestors did.

[–] tweeks@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interesting hobby for a dev

[–] genoxidedev1@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

I will never touch my keyboard ever again

[–] MisterEspinacas@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Do parents pet their children now? So strange!

[–] Syrc@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Red zone is “how to get in Italy’s governing party” (/s but not really that much)

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 3 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/HDD4GNiO5ag

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The red zone is how we stop the bus in argentina

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago

I'm just practicing to stop Japanese katana with bare hands

[–] Mvlad88@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

What's the difference between Hitler and Winnetou?

15 degrees.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

It's very easy to solve by kinking your arm a little.

[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

Just bring out the other hand and go for a dab

[–] MaxVoltage@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago